klw1905 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I'm having a rough morning. He broke up with me Sunday after a week of space. I feel like I'm going crazy. All I can think about right now is how I could have been a better girlfriend. What I could have done better in the relationship and how much I want to show him that. Is this a stage? I'm also holding on to hope that he's going to reconnect? I've been bad with nc. In his reply to me was that this wasn't easy for him, but he needed to find himself. He also said he hadn't let go yet, I asked him he wanted to, he said I don't know, then I replyed I hope you don't let go, he said I won't. Then I asked so there's hope and no reply. He's the best man in his friends wedding and the bachlor party is this weekend in my mind I think he's going to get away and realize what we had. I know I'm setting myself up for an emotional disaster next week. What am I suppose to do? How am I suppose to change my thinking?
Agni Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I"m sorry you're hurting, I know how awful it feels. I wish I could offer you words of solace but since I'm in the same boat and figuring things out myself, I feel like it wouldn't be right of me to give you advice. But I can give you a take on things: I think that if he feels like he needs space and time to himself, give it to him. Tell him you love him and respect him and honor his decision, and then take the time to work on yourself. Men appreciate space and they appreciate it when the woman gives them the respect for that. If he's trying to figure out things for himself, he can't possibly give you an answer that will be clear--because if he was he likely wouldn't need to be figuring things out for himself. And as cliche is this sounds, take the time to take care of yourself and be very very gentle with yourself. Keep posting and venting. Much light to you.
Crila16 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Ah yes. The old blaming ones self for the break up. It's totally and completely normal, and yes...everyone does it. Why? Because it's a loss of control over a situation and the other person, so it's easiest to blame ourselves as if we still have control over it. It also doesn't feel good having your ego kicked and bruised. Rejection feels horrid. Well...the good news is, you didn't do a thing to turn this guy off or scare him away, so get that out of your mind completely. You couldn't have done anything more to be a better girlfriend than you were. It has absolutely nothing to do with anything you did...and has 100% everything to do with him. You can't control what he's feeling. Not everyone is compatible for a forever relationship. He just figured it out before you did. Some people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. They fulfill whatever you may need at the time, before they need to move on. You will find a cover for your pot. Just be patient. This guy wasn't it. I know you wanted him to be, I know you're dying in pain right now, but you're going to be ok. I told someone recently on this site, that I had wished I could go back into the past and smack my younger self. I was so in love with this guy for 6 years. He was horrible to me and kept breaking up with me. I was so depressed and all I did was cry. I finally ended it in the end. Here it is 10 years later, and he's trying to get me back. He can't get over me he said. He absolutely skeeves me out. He's balding and has gotten fat...and the new guy I'm dating is super hot. Super hot. Careful what you wish for, you just might get it. Let go and let God. Let life take over and guide you. It knows what's better for you than you do. Just let it go and let the cards fall where they may.
weallfalldown Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 big love to you.............................:):)
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