Matt145 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 she texted me last night saying " I love you so much i wish we could just see eachother and do stuff together and kiss eachother but not be in a relationship. I cant stop thinking about you xx " We have been split up for 2 months. She doesnt want a relationship she wants to be single, she said to me last week that she was lost and confused and didnt know what she wanted. This girl really confuses me:confused: im not planning on replying but should i? Can anyone give me any advice:p
Greznog Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 She wants two things, number one is to minimize her guilty conscience by getting you into a friendship type relationship, which is her second goal. All of the benefits of an emotional tampon with none of the downsides. Also, no, you don't respond. 1
lovehurts82 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Matt! No! Don't respond! And don't keep any kind of contact with her! She made her bed, now let her lie in it. You can't have your cake and eat it too, which sounds like what she's trying to do. I agree with greznog. She's trying to keep you on as the backup, in case what ever else she's got going on doesn't work out.. or to fall back on for stability when she's done having her fun. That's no place to be. Let her keep thinking and being on her own until she gets it figured out. Hopefully you will have found someone else that deserves you and the fact that you WANT a relationship.
Crila16 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 She wants her cake and she wants to eat it too. She likes you, wants to spend time with you, but wants to remain single, just in case someone better for her comes along. The only person that will get hurt in this situation, is you if you allow her back into your life. NC. Cut her off completely. Hurt until it doesn't hurt anymore, because this chick is selfish. If she really loved you, she'd leave you alone so you could move on.
veggirl Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 NOOO don't respond to that! What she is basically saying is: I am sad right now, and even though it is my fault, I want you to make me feel better. Once you do that, I will be gone again. Until the next time I need to feel better, of course. Sound good? :sick: 1
Chi townD Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Yeah.....that's the definition of friends with benefits.
weallfalldown Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 or.............you could use her like the cold callous man you now are.....
Author Matt145 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 Thanks a lot people, she just really confuses me sometimes. It was only 4 days ago when she told me that she was completly over it all and that it doesnt bother her no more and she wont miss me no more and now she texted me that. And chi townD she asked me to be FWB a few weeks ago and i said no. And maybe id do that to her when im completly over her weallfalldown;)
Zahara Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 And chi townD she asked me to be FWB a few weeks ago and i said no. Nothing to be confused about. She's being very clear.
Author Matt145 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 Nothing to be confused about. She's being very clear. I guess but i dont see it how you guys do.
Zahara Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 1. She wants to be FWB 2. She wants the perks of a relationship but - doesn't want a relationship and - doesn't want a relationship with you. 3. She wants to be single. You're trying to look for something that is not there just because she is contacting you. Understand and study the intent of contact. She just wants someone to satisfy her needs. Nothing more. If you want a relationship, then understand nothing in her words proclaim to want to give you that. All of the above does not equate to what you want. Therefore, don't confuse yourself when her needs have been loud and clear. See it for what it is.
Crila16 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 That's because your hearts involved and you can't see the forest through the trees. The rest of us are on the outside and have no involvement, so we can see it clearly. I know this hurts, but she's saying she's not in love with you, but loves you as a person and a friend and someone who meant something to her. I know when the dumper ends things with the dumpee...everyone tends to hate the dumper for hurting the dumpee. What's teh dumper supposed to do? Stay in a relationship with someone they're not in love with, just to keep the dumpee happy? That's not fair to either party. What is nice is that even though this girl broke it off, she was doing you a favor. She knew she couldn't give you what you wanted (her all) and she ended it so you could find someone who could give you the world. She's giving you both a chance to find happiness.
Author Matt145 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 Wow thanks guys, honestly i just always have seen it the way i wanted too. The truth hurts me but thats what i need to hear otherwise i wouldnt be on here, it also makes me feel like its a bit easier to move on.
Crila16 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Hey...you can only choose one mate if you want to marry. You need to choose wisely, because 50 years down the road is a long time. Make it count and shop around until you know exactly what you want. Trust me on that. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it. Don't sweat this girl, because I know for a fact...you'll end up looking back and say to yourself "what was I thinking...why did I waste so much time, when I now have this girl I'm even more compatible with." Good luck. It will all work out.
Author Matt145 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 Hey...you can only choose one mate if you want to marry. You need to choose wisely, because 50 years down the road is a long time. Make it count and shop around until you know exactly what you want. Trust me on that. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it. Don't sweat this girl, because I know for a fact...you'll end up looking back and say to yourself "what was I thinking...why did I waste so much time, when I now have this girl I'm even more compatible with." Good luck. It will all work out. Thanks crila mate.
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