About to propose.. Thoughts?

[johnnyvee]

Hey everyone, this is my first post here. I would like to share my story and see what you people have to say.

 

My girlfriend and I recently got back together after a 2 month breakup. I love her with all my heart and am planning on asking her to marry me this weekend. We are both 23 and have been together for 4.5 years. Living together for almost 4 years now. The majority of those years I was in college and didn't know if I would want to stay with her in the end. The whole time we were together she would tell me she wants to get married and I was always the one to say "I'm not ready yet". I talked to other girls and pretty much took her for granted the whole time. I knew she was beautiful, funny, loyal, and a great person all around but felt I was too young to make the ultimate commitment.

 

Well, 4-5 months ago I told her I would like to move with my buddy across the country and have a long distance relationship. She did not like that at all and this is where I think she started to doubt the relationship. She started hanging out with her girlfriends more and I felt like I was losing the comfort of having her there for me. To make it worse, my friend backed out of wanting to move with me so that was no longer an option. So after a month or so of this role reversal, I became the needy, clingy one and felt like an idiot.

 

The week leading up to the breakup, I made some big mistakes. She wanted to out and have some drinks with one of her girlfriends and I insisted that I come too - that if I'm not allowed to go, then she isn't going either. I called her 50 times back to back one morning to try and wake her up to ask her if my wallet was at our apartment. And the biggest mistake was getting really agitated and raising my hand to her like I was about to hit her over something dumb. (Which I would never actually do)

 

So she broke up with me the next day, told me to get my stuff out of the apartment and not come back. She told her two closest girlfriends (my good friends too) all about our business. I tried reaching out to them for help, but they were already against me. I think they were the ones encouraging her to break up with me and not give me a second chance. They would go out to bars and drink until 5am, have her spend the night at their apartments, and who knows what else.

 

The whole time we were "broken up" though we would see each other/spend the night/have sex about 3-4 times a week. She kept this a secret from her friends. Eventually, she agreed to be my girlfriend again. Her friends are really pissed and one of them won't even talk to her anymore. We've been back together maybe 2 weeks now and are doing great. It kind of feels like when we first got together. However, the first day or two she said she made "guy friends" while we were apart and I checked her phone and her and this other guy were texting pretty flirtatiously - I immediately confronted her about this and she lied to me saying she hadn't been talking to him. When I told her I saw the messages, she says they're just friends and it was inside jokes and didn't want me to flip out. She says she took me back because she loves ME and wants things to work with US.

 

And I believe her, the texting has stopped, and she's being a good partner once again. One day I was late picking her up from work and she demanded to know where I had been and I eventually told her a jewelry store. She knew I was looking at rings and later that night, she told me if I asked her to marry me she would say yes. So I bought her a very nice ring, I asked her parents last night for their blessing, and am taking her to the beach in a couple hours now for the weekend. I want to ask her to marry me. I want her to feel the same way she felt at the beginning of the relationship. I want to know for sure she isn't flirting with some douche bag. I really do love her with all my heart and want things to work out. What do you people think? Is it too soon? Is it a mistake? How should I go about being friends with her group of friends again after her telling them these bad things about me?

 

Thanks in advance,

Johnny

[the ill-made knight]

Neither of you are ready for this type of commitment. She's going out all night, texting other guys, and you were about to move across the country with a buddy of yours a couple months ago..

[CarrieT]

You are both way too young and too immature to get married. Neither of you are close to being ready to make a marital commitment.

 

Do NOT propose to her until you have been living together in a STABLE way for at least another full year.

^^^^^ THIS THIS, a thousand times THIS ^^^^^^^