robaday Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Hey, I broke up with someone recently, it was short term, and we had a horrific argument, in which some choice words were said. Ive got some of her stuff at my place and am not sure how to return it (or whether to). I think the break up was for the best, so am not wanting to rekindle things, just wondering the best way of doing this without causing any issues. Its pretty fresh(one week) but id almost like to get it out of the way.
Author robaday Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 hahahahaha, that was my first thought, seriously it was. But Ive calmed down now, and its not in my nature to carry anger, id rather leave things peacefully.
Mycteria Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Mail them, or drop them off at her door when she's not there. I don't think it's very complicated.
KatZee Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Just put it in a box. She may not even remember, or care to have those things back. I'd stick to leaving it as is, no contact, and if she doesn't get in touch for her things, say within 1-2 weeks... dump it.
rocketman122 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Hey, I broke up with someone recently, it was short term, and we had a horrific argument, in which some choice words were said. Ive got some of her stuff at my place and am not sure how to return it (or whether to). I think the break up was for the best, so am not wanting to rekindle things, just wondering the best way of doing this without causing any issues. Its pretty fresh(one week) but id almost like to get it out of the way. Mail it. throwing it out or burning other peoples things says a lot about how you think. before the breakup, you wouldnt think to do it, now, you do? cmon man, not cool.. "I like you and want to be with you, but since we broke up, I couldnt give a ratsass about you and your stuff anymore". she will respect you as a person if you mail it and it will also show class on your part 2
veggirl Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 what kinda stuff is it? If its toiletries and whatnot I'd just toss it. Clothes..ehh depends on if it's an ratty t-shirt or something nice. Can you just put it all in a box and drop it on her doorstep? I def wouldn't break NC for this and I wouldn't wait around giving her a chance to do that either.
carhill Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Suggestion: Presuming we're not talking china cabinets and flat screen TV's here, merely toss everything into a couple of cardboard boxes, set them inside the front door, e-mail her with a date and time where they will be outside, then place them outside at that time and leave it to her to do the rest. If she wants the stuff bad enough, she'll come get it. If not, perhaps someone else might want it. In any event, it's out of your hair with minimal interaction and effort. If she doesn't respond nor show up, to the dumpster it goes.
veggirl Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I'm always surprised that people begin leaving their things at a new SOs place so quickly. 1
Author robaday Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 Thanks for advice - was going to post it, but i mean its only 2 miles away and ive got mates who live not that far so thought it would look weird posting it, plus im one of those weird people who dont remember addresses but can find them by walking there! Reason I asked is, I did this once to an ex - left her things on her doorstep and she told me afterward it was the most hurtful thing I could have done (i.e. a sign i never wanted to see her again!) reality was different, I was trying to be nice, so wondered about other peoples eperiences. Its some clothes - not necessarily good ones but quite a few, and i dont want to throw them in the waste tip.
carhill Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 As an example, my exW left the title to her car in the file cabinet in the office when she took her 'stuff' ( a couple moving vans full) when we D'd. She called me when she was selling the car a year later and I told her where it would be (in envelope on front porch) if she didn't want to wait for me to mail it. She drove the 25 miles to come get it. If the person wants the stuff, they come get it. If not, not. That it's mostly clothes makes the job easy. She knows where you live and has feet or a car. Do you really think she'd bring your stuff to you? I guess anything is possible but haven't seen it in my lifetime.
Author robaday Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 Out of interest carhill - did she seriously drive 25 miles and not knock on the door? I know this is unrelated...... I cant really imagine making that much effort and then just going, even with an ex.Ive never been married, and all my exs have been different, 2/3rds im on pretty good terms with, the other third......i doubt we could ever be friends, simply because of unresolved anger, or remaining attraction/chemistry. Ive been thinking a lot about this recently because I recently reconnected with my first love and we hadnt spoken for three and a half years.......probably for another thread but am interested
carhill Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Out of interest carhill - did she seriously drive 25 miles and not knock on the door?I was out working in the yard when she showed up unexpectedly. Otherwise, knowing her, she would have picked it up and left. Our D was all business. Hope you can avoid anything similar in your future.
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