blue_jay_bird Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Is it just me or the more time that passes, the more the though of " He/She is really not coming back". The more time passes the more I think "I don't want him/her back." .. and the more i spend time with other people the more i think of the negative of are relationship. I feel like it's mechanism or i'm waking up to the truth. Both of this makes me sad. Do any of you have these feelings? How do they develop/ change?
Hobbit Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Good god yes. After initially wanting my ex back I've been thinking about a few home truths this week, stuff that I didn’t want to acknowledge when I was in the relationship. Personally I feel quite numb and upset. Mainly because there were genuinely good times
headsashed Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Its normal to feel like that,when i was at that point and id think well too much time as passed now my ex defo isnt coming back id feel sad,id even feel sad when the feelings of not wanting her back started hitting me but these feelings do pass in time. Its probably different for everyone because my ex cheated on me and i didnt want her back nor did i want her running back so the sadness were a little less when those thoughts/feelings hit me. When we broke up last year though they did hit me hard and out of the blue she came back,never expected her to. This time around theres more chance of platting dog poo than me ever taking her back
BooBoo1982 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Its normal to feel like that,when i was at that point and id think well too much time as passed now my ex defo isnt coming back id feel sad,id even feel sad when the feelings of not wanting her back started hitting me but these feelings do pass in time. Its probably different for everyone because my ex cheated on me and i didnt want her back nor did i want her running back so the sadness were a little less when those thoughts/feelings hit me. When we broke up last year though they did hit me hard and out of the blue she came back,never expected her to. This time around theres more chance of platting dog poo than me ever taking her back Does she want you back? Platting dog poo sounds like fun I might give it a try tonight.
kindest Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I guess I'm at this point now, and it is sad. Sad that I have lost someone very dear to me. I still think about him all the time, every day, but it's becomig less and less. I feel sad that we fell apart and that I have to stay away from him to heal and move on. I feel sad that he let me down. I feel sad that I had to tell him to stop contacting me because I was feeling uneasy. I feel sad because of the possibility that I may have lost him forever. I feel sad because I feel that meeting him was a mistake and I never wanted to feel this way. I never wanted to feel regret that I met him. My ex is a good person, I always say this because it's true, but he's a good person who hurt me. Unfortunately, he hurt me so bad that I am having a hard time forgiving him. The reason I am hurting is because I still couldn't believe that such a good guy can hurt me this way. Do I want him back? I guess deep inside, I am hoping that he comes back. But to go through what he put me through over again? I'll die.
headsashed Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Does she want you back? Platting dog poo sounds like fun I might give it a try tonight. haha,and no she doesnt want me back this time,she went back to her ex before me. I wouldnt take her back this time for many reasons really,she cheated on me which hurt a very lot,since we broke up she has been very inconsiderate towards my feelings,shes basically immature and only cares for herself,good riddance to bad poo i say.
BooBoo1982 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 haha,and no she doesnt want me back this time,she went back to her ex before me. I wouldnt take her back this time for many reasons really,she cheated on me which hurt a very lot,since we broke up she has been very inconsiderate towards my feelings,shes basically immature and only cares for herself,good riddance to bad poo i say. Are you on this site because of her or someone else? Has she come back wanting you in the past then? Are you still in contact or do you block the bad poo?
headsashed Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Are you on this site because of her or someone else? Has she come back wanting you in the past then? Are you still in contact or do you block the bad poo? I originally came to this site because of her,i was in a very bad way emotionaly,this was last year,she broke up with me saying she werent happy. This was the day before our 2 year anniversary,i was devestated. 4 months later she came back to me because she heard id moved on to someone else and like a fool i took her back,our reconciliation lasted a mere 4-5 months because she decided to open her legs to so random guy on holiday. Since our break up in may ive heard from her several times but i ignore because its the only way i can heal. A few weeks ago she txt me asking how my friends funeral went (he was killed the week before in a car accident), silly me being all emotional and drunk replaied just saying it went ok thanx,so then she decided to randomly tell me shes back with her ex,out of all days she did it on the day of my friends funeral,talk about selfish,so i told her to leave me alone for the 50th time and ive heard once from her since then,accusing me of hacking her emails,i never responded cos i know it werent me as i cba with people like her. I feel alot better now though,id say im 80% healed,i even had a date at the weekend which went pretty ok. If my ex continues to leave me alone then ill be fully healed in no time,if she does decide to contact me then ill carry on ignoring her,its as simple as that.
Regrets58 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Yes the passage of time helps us let go.Also when you reach the stage you know they are not coming back,you begin to think. I knew her faults when we were together,as she knew mine. However it is only when feelings fade that you can properly reflect. I have great affection for her and no ill will regarding her dumping me. We just weren't meant to be,it happens. I still miss her and hope one day we can be friends of a sort. Sadly more time has to pass before this can happen,if it ever does.
mistermr Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Yeah, I've been feeling like this the past few days. I'll never regret our relationship, even if she did cheat on me in the end. We had lots of fun and I still love her but I'm falling out of IN LOVE with her. I still hope we can be friends one day because even though she cheated (which was the cowards way out!) I'll probably end up thanking her one day when I meet someone better (lol?) She's currently infatuated with the guy she cheated with. I can't be angry because we've all been there and had those feelings, they are overwhelming and make you do stupid things. I did a bad thing and snooped at her messages (I know) and there was no love between either of them, so I don't think it's going to last and a few weeks ago I would have been swimming in hope that they will **** it up and she'd come running back. But now I'm just not really looking forward to that moment because I finally feel like I'm moving on and I don't want to go back to square one. I had a dream about her this morning, we were having sex or she was trying to come on to me and we started and I looked at her "sex face" and it disgusted me and I pushed her away and then I woke up lol. Had a similar dream the other day. I think my brain is finally starting to reject any romantic feelings towards her and is opening up to the possibility of finding someone new, someone better. I can't wait for the day I feel indifferent towards her.
Mint Sauce Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 dreams are interesting aren't they. The past night I dreamt I slapped her in the face. First time ever I dreamt something aggressive. Still far from indifferent though
youngnlove89 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Is it just me or the more time that passes, the more the though of " He/She is really not coming back". The more time passes the more I think "I don't want him/her back." .. and the more i spend time with other people the more i think of the negative of are relationship. I feel like it's mechanism or i'm waking up to the truth. Both of this makes me sad. Do any of you have these feelings? How do they develop/ change? I think that is true. I have been going through this breakup with my ex for 2 months...for 2 months we have gone back and forth, we are both indecisive, we both can't let go or when we do, we come back to eachother, but today I am letting go. I can't hold anymore to something that isn't there. I can't hold onto his mixed signals. Knowing that it is over now doesn't make me sad like it did when it first began 2 months ago. But I've been hurt long enough to where now I just want to be happy. I can't find happiness with him anymore and life is too short to be unhappy. It will make you sad, because you are letting go. Letting go is harder then holding on because there is no turning back. Letting go is painful, it's final. But you will move on from that sadness and you will be happy again. You will be happy when you realize that you let go of something that made you unhappy.
KatZee Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Is it just me or the more time that passes, the more the though of " He/She is really not coming back". The more time passes the more I think "I don't want him/her back." .. and the more i spend time with other people the more i think of the negative of are relationship. I feel like it's mechanism or i'm waking up to the truth. Both of this makes me sad. Do any of you have these feelings? How do they develop/ change? It's the grieving and moving on process. Those rose colored glasses come off and you start to see what the relationship really was. You start to realize it wasn't as amazing as you thought it was... you start to realize all of those little red flags you dismissed. You start to realize just what you put up with, what you tolerated, and how much of yourself you sacrificed to keep the relationship. You're seeing reality. Next will be anger. Get ready for it. 3
KMC1990 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 I know exactly what you mean. It's been a little over a month since my breakup with my boyfriend of 4.5 years, and we havent spoken at all since that night. For a while I was waiting for him to reach out to me but he never did. I have no idea how he feels about anything, and it causes me a lot of confusion. I've been doing really well, but lately I've been feeling really down because I truly miss him and wonder if I may have lost him forever. It feels like our relationship is truly over. He said he still wants to be part of my life. But seeing him Or speaking to him right now would be much too painful for me to deal with.
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