john 07 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]So I have been seeing a girl for about 2 months now (knew her since early last year). We have gotten closer emotionally and physically. I started to fall for her a couple weeks ago and I decided to ask her to make it official a couple weeks ago. She said she needed some time to think. I know that Im the only one shes seeing because her close friend also told me. She did say your going back to your country sometime weather it maybe 5 or 10 years from now which seems to her an issue to her. I told her im here a minimum another 3 for work. I want to ask her again to see if she changed her mind. How can I approach this. I only get to see her on the weekend because we are both working during the week. Im meeting her at the beach over the weekend to play some baseball catch/throw and dinner afterwards. Thanks everyone![/sIZE][/FONT]
MercuryMorrison1 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 First of all...How long has it been since the first time you asked her this question? If you ask her again to soon you'll run the risk of scaring her off, because you will come off as impatient and clingly. Secondly, Going back to your ''home country'' is a pretty big deal...You say three years right? If she gets emotionally involved with you now she's going to have a serious delimma three years down the road. She's going to have to choose between staying in her ''home country'' and leaving the man she loves...Or leaving her family/friends/pets/job...etc...etc to go with the man she love's to his home country. Either way, make sure the timings right and just ask her if she's made a choice on being exclusive with you or not.
Quiet Storm Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I don't think she is interested in you "in that way". You can ask her again to confirm that, but be prepared for disappointment. When you say that you have become closer emotionally and physically, what do you mean by that? I ask this because many men mistake friendliness for attraction. Women spend time with their friends, have conversations with their friends and go on outings with friends. A women doing these things with you doesn't mean she is attracted or wants a relationship. It could simply mean that she likes you and enjoys your company, but is not sexually attracted to you, at all. Men get confused by this because they generally do not spend time or effort on women they just want to be friends with. They assume the same is true for women, and mistake a woman's interest in friendship for romantic attraction. Read the thread "he's not getting the hint" and you will see that once a woman "friendzones" a man, his status is not likely to change. It will just end up in a dynamic where you are hoping she sees what a great guy you are (which she already knows). Getting along well, having things in common, laughing, talking, spending time together... all that means nothing if she is not "feeling it". "It" is the sexual attraction, the spark, the butterflies. If you are not inspiring those feelings in her, it is not likely to change no matter what you do.
Author john 07 Posted September 3, 2012 Author Posted September 3, 2012 First of all...How long has it been since the first time you asked her this question? If you ask her again to soon you'll run the risk of scaring her off, because you will come off as impatient and clingly. Secondly, Going back to your ''home country'' is a pretty big deal...You say three years right? If she gets emotionally involved with you now she's going to have a serious delimma three years down the road. She's going to have to choose between staying in her ''home country'' and leaving the man she loves...Or leaving her family/friends/pets/job...etc...etc to go with the man she love's to his home country. Either way, make sure the timings right and just ask her if she's made a choice on being exclusive with you or not. Its been 2 weeks since I asked her. We had a date this past weekend. How long do you think would be appropriate for me to wait before asking again? I def dont want to look clingy and impatient.
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