joystickd Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Women are taught to play games and be coy. So no you won't always get a direct answer. We are complicated. Hard to figure us out when most don't know themselves. What are your thoughts on this in regards to dating?
january2011 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 No, I think it applies to both genders. Especially in this day and age where there seem to many people who like to hedge their bets and are intent on "finding" themselves. 1
mesmerized Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 If that's true then I must be the exception because I'm way too forward and honest. 1
Author joystickd Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 I think most can agree both genders play games.
Pyro Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I think most can agree both genders play games. agreed and those who do will endure more headaches than those of us who are straight forward. There is enough in the world to get a headache over and I never needed any additional.
carhill Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Some women are taught this, mainly by role-modeling and behavior reinforcement, during their formative years from a very young age. Additionally, when they move from family to peer, they observe reactions from males which continue to reinforce the behavior, hence it becomes ingrained as part of their personality. As personality is, in some ways, genetically determined, nature can be as important a factor in this development as nurture. Hence, it is very individual and generalities cannot be inferred, IMO. It is another good reason to examine a woman's (in this case) relationship and family history for indicators of patterns of behavior/personality type.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Unfortunately, a lot of people play games. It only effects me when women play games in dating since I only date women. I really wish we could go back to a time when these things were as easy as writing on a piece of paper "do you like me check yes or no". 1
USMCHokie Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Women are taught to play games and be coy. What are your thoughts on this in regards to dating? The best "defense" against that is to treat everything at face value. Unfortunately, men are taught the exact opposite...they are taught to interpret everything with the assumption that the woman is playing games. Why not interpret everything a woman says or does as straightforward? It's a win-win...if she's actually being straightforward, then you know what's on her mind. But if she's playing games, then she'll wonder why the hell her game isn't working and then become intrigued by you...not playing her "game" ends up being a "game" in itself...
monkey00 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Women are taught to play games and be coy. So no you won't always get a direct answer. We are complicated. Hard to figure us out when most don't know themselves. What are your thoughts on this in regards to dating? Only insecure/uninterested/damaged women play games. Healthy, relationship minded ones don't really. Even if they are healthy and play it, you can blame their silly friends for putting them up to it. Women are always up in each other's dating life when no one asks them to.
Author joystickd Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 agreed and those who do will endure more headaches than those of us who are straight forward. There is enough in the world to get a headache over and I never needed any additional. The ones that are straight forward are few. I'm very straight forward and when it comes to dating I hates games and having my time wasted. I interact with a woman its for a purpose to know her for just sex or something more. I'm not into all of that friendly flirting just for the sake of doing it and after a certain point I will say something along the lines of put up or shut up. It's the same with me having platonic friendships with females. I don't do it unless they are lesbians. Its less of a one sided approach when dealing with lesbian. Plus like I said before I interact with a purpose so heterosexual female are eliminated from the friend category I interact with them for the purpose of getting to know just for sex or something more. It's a waste of my time to be the surrogate boyfriend and deal with the games of being friends with heterosexual females. A lot of people like games because it's the perceived way of not having to compromise. We have a lot of people these days that have such big egos. They have to be the focus and have what they want. You see some of them on here and then they complain about not finding that special person. They power struggle with the opposite sex hoping they bend to their will. Some though realize they can't do it with a person they cut them out completely to find a path of less resistance. You see the ones on here that demand so much out of the opposite sex but if asked what they have to offer they can't think of sh*t.
Pyro Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 The ones that are straight forward are few. I'm very straight forward and when it comes to dating I hates games and having my time wasted. I interact with a woman its for a purpose to know her for just sex or something more. I'm not into all of that friendly flirting just for the sake of doing it and after a certain point I will say something along the lines of put up or shut up. It's the same with me having platonic friendships with females. I don't do it unless they are lesbians. Its less of a one sided approach when dealing with lesbian. Plus like I said before I interact with a purpose so heterosexual female are eliminated from the friend category I interact with them for the purpose of getting to know just for sex or something more. It's a waste of my time to be the surrogate boyfriend and deal with the games of being friends with heterosexual females. A lot of people like games because it's the perceived way of not having to compromise. We have a lot of people these days that have such big egos. They have to be the focus and have what they want. You see some of them on here and then they complain about not finding that special person. They power struggle with the opposite sex hoping they bend to their will. Some though realize they can't do it with a person they cut them out completely to find a path of less resistance. You see the ones on here that demand so much out of the opposite sex but if asked what they have to offer they can't think of sh*t. I agree that it seems rare in today's age to see non game playing. I avoided plenty and ended up with a gem who is the same as me. It's not all games to be friends with heterosexual people of the opposite sex but after being here for seven years I understand that I am a rarity thinking that way. and that last paragraph is a fine example of someone who is involved in game playing.
todreaminblue Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 (edited) Women are taught to play games and be coy. So no you won't always get a direct answer. We are complicated. Hard to figure us out when most don't know themselves. What are your thoughts on this in regards to dating? If i am interested in someone i tell them straight up i have feelings for you....i don't like games in relationships. when i dont like a guy in that way i also tell them straight up so they dont harass and i would hope a person would have enough respect for me to be the same...i have met oen lately who was a complete gentleman no games an dtold me how he felt with respect to me and my feelings.... mystery and allure are different to games and they normally involve in the long run that mystery is revealed the allure is shown and it is a mutual enjoyment when that happens games in relationships are not enjoyable fi they cause the other person to doubt themselves or the partner.....dont like those type of games stuffs with trust like ringing and then putting someone on hold how much of a game is that....a very annoying one ....complete and utter waste of effort.....deb Edited August 30, 2012 by todreaminblue
Author joystickd Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 The best "defense" against that is to treat everything at face value. Unfortunately, men are taught the exact opposite...they are taught to interpret everything with the assumption that the woman is playing games. Why not interpret everything a woman says or does as straightforward? It's a win-win...if she's actually being straightforward, then you know what's on her mind. But if she's playing games, then she'll wonder why the hell her game isn't working and then become intrigued by you...not playing her "game" ends up being a "game" in itself... Not really. Women interpret everything a man's interaction with her as an attempt to get sex unless he is a platonic friend sometimes. The act of getting someone to take something at face value is a game itself. The best thing is you as a man be straight forward with your intentions and it destroys the games and potential games.
serial muse Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I got it here I wish people would just speak for themselves rather than pretending they're speaking for their entire gender. It's like they need to add legitimacy to their own behavior by ascribing it to millions of people. Nice try, lady, but your game-playing is your problem. In short - no, I don't agree with that statement. It's not what I was taught. Perhaps it's what that woman was taught, but she has nothing to do with me, you know? Although I do agree that increasingly people in general seem to be hedging their bets, as january2011 pointed out. 3
CarrieT Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Not really. Women interpret everything a man's interaction with her as an attempt to get sex unless he is a platonic friend sometimes. I'm sorry for you if you really believe this. I think it is men who are obsessed with sex who perpetuate these concepts but from a woman's perspective, it is far from true and we certainly do NOT interpret everything from a sexual standpoint.
Author joystickd Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 I'm sorry for you if you really believe this. I think it is men who are obsessed with sex who perpetuate these concepts but from a woman's perspective, it is far from true and we certainly do NOT interpret everything from a sexual standpoint. I should have said some on that. I come across women that have a vibe of "your trying to get in my pants" even with someone just being cordial. It's not that you interpret it from a sexual standpoint its that you see the goal for the man in his interaction with you as being sex. I see one user that is very vocal about a man pushing for sex. Even complaining because a user mention of having a cooking date at his place.
Greznog Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Women are taught to play games and be coy. So no you won't always get a direct answer. We are complicated. Hard to figure us out when most don't know themselves. What are your thoughts on this in regards to dating? Women are incredibly easy to figure out, you just have to put cotton balls in your ears and watch their actions. When you start listening to what they're saying you're only going to lose. Except when you're having sex, for legal reasons you should listen when she says anything remotely like no.
irin Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 i dont play games. never, always up-front about, it a very simple no. not going to happen. ever.
maybealone Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 The best "defense" against that is to treat everything at face value. Unfortunately, men are taught the exact opposite...they are taught to interpret everything with the assumption that the woman is playing games. I agree, and I think it's become a bit of a vicious circle. I am very straightforward, but I often feel like men are trying to interpret what I say when there is nothing to interpret. I should have said some on that. I come across women that have a vibe of "your trying to get in my pants" even with someone just being cordial. It's not that you interpret it from a sexual standpoint its that you see the goal for the man in his interaction with you as being sex. Well, some women hope to god he's trying to get into our pants! Men can be hard to read sometimes too. As far as game playing goes, I think it might be more related to age than gender.
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