mr.wavy Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Ive been with my ex for 3 and a half years. She dumped me 3 months ago due to my needyness (i was going through a bad phase). Anyways after she dumped i remained in no contact and tried to get on with my life. She contacted me two months later, trying to act all casual and interested (to be honest, i still believe she only began talking to me because many girls started taking an intrest in me). Shes been initiating every conversation amd weve been in contact for just about a month now. Ive always given little contact and not letting her know whats going on in my life. Shes been telling me she still likes me allot, misses me and wants to see me. Basicly shes been chasing me this entire month, calling and messaging me all the time. Last night she said the most stupid thing she has ever in our relationship, and that was if we could be in a relationship again, but not now but in a year or two. And i said are you feeling okay? If you truly like me like you say you do, youd want me back now, you wouldnt want to wait. She said she wants to wait as she feels not the right age for a relationship. She also said she does t want to be in a relationship with me now because she doesnt trust me, which is peculiar as i have never in our relationship done anyrhing for her loose trust in me. She says that she doesnt trust me because im a model and work with pretty girls all day. To be honest guys they just seem like exuses to me. I feel horrible. This whole month i kept my guard up by responding coldly to her i love yous and i miss yous and then yesteday i let down my guard down and admitted to still liking her and wanting her back and this happens. I do love her and want her back. I just dont know what to do. Like a whole month goes by of her chasing me and expressing her love for me. And then she asks me to be in a relationship again but not the way i imagined. I just want her to want to be with me in a relationship now .
The_Face Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 (edited) Tell her that you're open to a relationship down the road, if you think you really are. But play it cool. Tell her you'll just have to see where you're both at in a few years then. Like you aren't really concerned about it anymore, like you've possibly even moved on already, gave up on it. Leave it at that. If she pries you for more information on anything (tries to get your guard down) don't elaborate. Just stick with that I said earlier. "Sounds good, we'll see what happens. " (I wouldn't say that exactly, but you catch my drift?) Honestly, I hate to say it, but she probably won't be ready for a long time. I wouldn't necessarily wait around for her to come crawling back anytime soon. At least in a genuine way. It sounds more like she feels alone right now, so she's falling back on you (her safety net) just enough to get a little ego-booster from you once you finally let your guard down. Don't play along anymore. If and when she does come back, and she means it, you can be the one in control at that point. The ball will be in your court, and you can decide. Who knows? Maybe by the time she is officially ready for something, you may have found somebody else, who's ready now. Or maybe you'll be single, but come to realize you don't want her as much as you used to. Right now, though, tough stuff. You're on the backburner and she's only keeping it warm so you'll stick around until she's "ready for a relationship." Leave her to do her thing, switch the roles around. Put her on the backburner. Assume control. She had control when she dumped you, but now you are free. You control what happens to you. For now my advice would be to kick back, enjoy the single life. Go spend time with other girls. That's what set this thing off to begin with, right? Tell her what I said, and then immediately start NC. Ultimate NC. If she doesn't come begging, it wasn't meant to be. Edited August 30, 2012 by The_Face
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