To those wondering why.. There IS something better out there for us..

[lovehurts82]

My original breakup story is a long one. Basically.. I had been in a long distance, on again off again relationship (began as friends of friends) with a guy for 7 years. He was my best friend. I turned to him for EVERYTHING and he always told me the same. He asked my parents' permission to marry me, we talked wedding plans, moving to the big city together, having a family, raising kids.. right down to picking out the kinds of dogs we wanted. Some things happened in July and he "just can't do it right now, babe" and "I need time to cope and deal with this alone" only to be "engaged" to someone else a week later.

 

ANYhow! That's not so much what this post is about. This is actually a celebration of the fact. Yes, I still love the man to tears, I think about him every day, I still "wish things were different" I still wonder why.. and how come the things he's doing and parading on facebook about her was never done for me. I still have days where I can't get it all out of my brain. I get depressed. But then, I have to pick myself up. I've become a huge sucker for all those picture quotes that float around online and have found I can get lost in the inspiration and sometimes comedy found there that I start to feel better. And then, I do things like.. make my life better.

 

Last week, I was casually perusing a local job site and saw a job that looked like it would be fun. Again.. I say casually, cause I wasn't giving too much energy to actually hunting or whatever. Anyhow.. So Wednesday, I decide I'd at least throw my resume out to them, though the ad had been posted on the 8th. I didn't figure there'd be any WAY for me to get that job. But.. something told me to do it anyway. I did. It wasn't 15 minutes later and the HR manager there was calling me back.. wanting me to interview. I accepted and she asked me to come in the next morning.

 

I waited to hear back from her then, after, wondered and passed off the thought through the weekend, figuring I'd never get that job. It's working in a doctor's office.. Monday through Friday 8-5.. and making a whole $1.25 more than what I am making right now. I wasn't worth something like that, right?! I was really bluesy over the weekend.. it took all I could do to not get ahold of the X. Sunday he texted asking if the pictured hooded sweatshirt was the one I had asked him about before the breakup. I said "Yep. That would be the one." and left it at that. Not giving in to the cries of my heart to ask how he was or giving in to the contact other than to confirm something I wanted to get back.

 

Well.. I got a call yesterday and I GOT THAT JOB! I AM making strives to better myself and things are looking up for me. For so long, I had hated my job and it was horrible for me because I couldn't sleep like I should. I say it could have been an issue in our relationship as far as me being moody from having a messed up schedule.. but I think there's more dirt there than I wish to dig up. I'm finding it's sometimes better to accept and not really know the whole story. I have to make myself accept that the path that I was on was apparently not the right one for me. I put my faith in a higher power and believe that all things happen for a reason.

 

Had I continued on as I was, I would have ended up moving some place I really wasn't wanting to go, settling to find a job there.. and basically.. settling for someone else's dreams. Sure we were making them together. But right now, I am working on myself and trying to live my life as happily as I can. I'm not settling for someone else's dreams, I'm attaining my own. And it feels amazing. So many of the things that I remained doing for over a year and a half while I waited for him, I've changed in a matter of a month. ONE MONTH! And it feels great. And I feel much more confident and empowered now than before.

 

So to all of you still struggling with breakups and the blues, hang in there! Lift up your chins and look in the mirror. You'll get through this. This too will pass. You were along before you met that X and you survived. You have to keep telling yourself that you'll be okay. Keep busy. Work on yourself. Take a look at your life and all that you have. Be thankful for all that remains and if you're not happy with something, CHANGE IT! You and only you have the power to pick yourself up out of this slump and begin taking steps forward. I have to say that for myself, I'm very excited at the idea of new opportunities opening up that I was convinced were never possible before.

 

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”- Marilyn Monroe

 

"At any given moment, you have the power to say this is NOT the way the story is going to end" -unknown