Maeva Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I posted something a few days ago but things progressed a little... So, I've been seeing this guy for about 2 weeks (I know, ONLY 2 WEEKS... I've met him about 8 years ago though! I sort of know him). We usually see each other 2-3x a week. Either we do some random activity during the day or just stay home (or both). He slept over a few times and he actually initiated that (after we had sex, so I guess it's not like that all he wanted). He introduced me to some of his friends (as a 'friend') a night when we went out; we danced together and blabla so his friends know we are 'seeing' each other. He invited me to his friend's country house the next day but we couldn't make it and he ended up staying at my place with some of my friends. He also replies to my text messages within minutes. He texted me the other day saying he wished he'd have waken up with me instead of alone... So far so good, right? Thing is, I'm still a little insecure and wondering if he 'really' likes me... He knew I used to be on some dating websites and he asked if I still had my profile up. He didn't mention that it would bother him; he simply asked and I said no; that I didn't have time for that kind of thing (wrong answer? Honestly I do not have the time to meet other men; but there is no interest at the moment either)... I didn't ask him about his profiles, though. Should I have? Now I'm wondering if he still has his profile up. I guess I'm just insecure that he's going to disappear on me like the last one did... I don't want to let him know I'm insecure because I know it's a turn-off. He's out of the country for 2 weeks and we haven't talked/texted so far (ok, it's only been 2 days). Is it weird if I text him at some point during his vacation? Should I wait for him to get in touch with me? I know things are moving quite fast. I tend to be a little intense and I'm trying to CALM DOWN... but I guess I'm also curious to see if he's seeing anyone else. I am also starting to really like him and don't want to get attached if he knows it'll never ever be serious between us. I don't want to pressure him or anything; but I'd like to know where we stand. Should I just wait and see how things progress?! Does he like me? What do I do now? Can't believe I'm 28 and I know nothing about dating anymore...
Greznog Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 You.. want to know where you stand after two weeks? What do you honestly expect him to say? It's a lose lose for him, either he'll be honest and you won't get the commitment you want or he'll lie because he likes you and wants to keep you around.
Author Maeva Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) You.. want to know where you stand after two weeks? What do you honestly expect him to say? It's a lose lose for him, either he'll be honest and you won't get the commitment you want or he'll lie because he likes you and wants to keep you around. Well, I don't want him to tell me that he wants to marry me and have babies of course... I guess I'm just wondering if his actions (texting, introducing me to his friends, etc) "could" mean anything at all. Or if it's strictly sex and that's it. Actually, could all of this mean nothing at all? So I should wait for him to bring this up eventually (weeks, months, who knows), right? That's what I was going to do... Edited August 29, 2012 by Maeva
Ami1uwant Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Well, I don't want him to tell me that he wants to marry me and have babies of course... I guess I'm just wondering if his actions (texting, introducing me to his friends, etc) "could" mean anything at all. Or if it's strictly sex and that's it. Actually, could all of this mean nothing at all? So I should wait for him to bring this up eventually (weeks, months, who knows), right? That's what I was going to do... If I am understanding this....you knew each other for 8 rs regularly seeing each other.....you slept together. Sounds like an FWB to me. In the past two weeks what has changed from this?
Author Maeva Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) If I am understanding this....you knew each other for 8 rs regularly seeing each other.....you slept together. Sounds like an FWB to me. In the past two weeks what has changed from this? Yes maybe I wasn't clear... Nope, I met him about 8 years ago and saw him a few times, but we were only 'friends' (no sex or anything). We lost contact for all those years and 'friended' each other on FB just a short while ago. Eventually, he asked me out and we've been seeing each other since then. Edited August 29, 2012 by Maeva
curlygirl40 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 IMO all you can do is wait. It's way too early to do anything but wait. You'll come across as needy and insecure. You could force something that he's not ready for. It's so early yet, he probably doesn't even know the answer to that question anyway. So don't make him come up with an answer. Chill. Give him time to really get to know you and decide he wants to be with you instead of feeling pressured. Keep yourself busy, stay in the moment, stop thinking about the future. Enjoy your time with him without worrying about where it is going. People (men and women, I'm not going to make generalizations here) like to figure out for themselves what they want out of something. If you push too soon, it could stop what could be a great relationship that grew slowly. It's pretty simple. He calls, you talk to him. He texts, you text back. He asks you out, you say yes. Keep it simple, stop worrying about the future. You'll have your answer eventually. Now, with that being said, if in 3 months you still don't know where you stand with him? If in 3-4 months he still introduces you as a 'friend'. If in 3-4 months he hasn't asked you to be exclusive....then he probably won't. IMO it shouldn't take much more than 3-4 months to know if he wants you to be his girlfriend. So relax! Enjoy the beginning stages of what could be a good relationship. Get to know each other. Have fun. The signs are all there that he's into you. Just enjoy it for now. 1
Author Maeva Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 ^^ Thanks for your answer! It makes sense... We'll see after a few months how this goes. I guess I am insecure
curlygirl40 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I think it's somewhat normal to be insecure when you feel yourself falling. The trick is playing it cool so it's not obvious. Good luck. 1
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