Kincaid Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 We've been dating for about 2 years now. The first year it was great. I took her out, we hung out at my place and watched a movie or just played games or had sex. Due to some complications(I was really lazy with my life with everything EXCEPT her, because of this I didn't have a car) things got boring. We saw each other every day and did the same things, and it turned from new and loving to comforting and predictable. I was depressed with some of my short comings in life, and she began to feel unhappy. Needless to say, our relationship hit a rocky road filled with breaks and second chances, and we split for awhile. I got a job, got back into school, started working out, got a car. Pretty much gained everything back. We started contact again awhile later, and patched things up. I felt like my old self again, and she was somewhat different. She was incredibly shy, and now she was confident in herself. It was a big change. Either way, the relationship started out perfect until I started acting like an idiot. Insecure about our past relationship, I started mindlessly flaunting my money. I'd take her out all the time, I'd buy her presents and everything as if it was no big deal. I'd spend hundreds of dollars on her in days. Now its at the point where when she wants something, she asks me. She hints at presents all the time, she suggests trips. She'll occasionally say 'you never surprise me with presents anymore ' and I don't know what to do. At times, now it feels like she just wants me for money now. I don't believe that's true, since I programmed her this way. She just seems so selfish and expensive lately, and I'm giving too much. How can I reverse this and stop her from EXPECTING presents?
veggirl Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Tell her "I think I may have overdone it with the gifts and surprises. I honestly need to scale back budget wise on that" next time she "hints". Or you could just flat out tell her that you are tired of paying for everything. Does she treat you? I would find it very obnoxious for someone to hint for gifts and even flat out tell you that boohoo she hasn't gotten a gift lately. Next time she does that you could say "I'm not made of money" or something. Lots of options! 3
manup Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 We've been dating for about 2 years now. The first year it was great. I took her out, we hung out at my place and watched a movie or just played games or had sex. Due to some complications(I was really lazy with my life with everything EXCEPT her, because of this I didn't have a car) things got boring. We saw each other every day and did the same things, and it turned from new and loving to comforting and predictable. I was depressed with some of my short comings in life, and she began to feel unhappy. Needless to say, our relationship hit a rocky road filled with breaks and second chances, and we split for awhile. I got a job, got back into school, started working out, got a car. Pretty much gained everything back. We started contact again awhile later, and patched things up. I felt like my old self again, and she was somewhat different. She was incredibly shy, and now she was confident in herself. It was a big change. Either way, the relationship started out perfect until I started acting like an idiot. Insecure about our past relationship, I started mindlessly flaunting my money. I'd take her out all the time, I'd buy her presents and everything as if it was no big deal. I'd spend hundreds of dollars on her in days. Now its at the point where when she wants something, she asks me. She hints at presents all the time, she suggests trips. She'll occasionally say 'you never surprise me with presents anymore ' and I don't know what to do. At times, now it feels like she just wants me for money now. I don't believe that's true, since I programmed her this way. She just seems so selfish and expensive lately, and I'm giving too much. How can I reverse this and stop her from EXPECTING presents? dump her rinse and repeat with the next one and do this until you find one who isn't a gold digger or until you die
the ill-made knight Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 This is the golden rule not just in relationships, but in life; do not start something you cannot and do not want to keep up. Of course she expects presents, etc. now because that's how you were treating her. The thing to do now is to tell her that you cannot afford that type of lifestyle and also do not want her to just want you for your money [although you know she doesn't]. Her response to that will be very telling.
TigerCub Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 You should tell her that you can't afford to spend too much right now. But... still surprise her with things like: - flowers for now reason. - a picnic lunch - simple things that take some effort but don't cost much money. If she still complains about how you don't surprise her and show you care, then you will have your answer about what she really wants. Note: If this girl isn't reciprocating at all, or at least within her means, then she's just flat out selfish and you shouldn't waste time on someone like that in the first place.
weallfalldown Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 stick a gold nugget up her arse...... then she can go gold digging.....
Titanwolf Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 sounds like you've spoilt the child. You've set new expectations that aren't sustainable long term. Whether the dynamic of the relationship will change now, is reliant on whether she'll accept the withdrawal of the material things you've showered her with. From your history with her, I wouldn't hold my breath sir.
weallfalldown Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Dude: She wants attention and romance. Once the initial thrill is over the females need attention and more romance. Pick up things for her on your way home, make her feel special with little details. Learn how to maintain a woman for the long run. Otherwise this will go nowhere. bull****...why should you constantly keep buying gifts etc?....she sounds like a spoilt bratt who needs a wake up call!!
Pasttense Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Do you have a lot of debt (school, auto, credit card)? If so tell her you have decided you need to eliminate this debt--in case the economy goes bad and you lose your job...--and consequently you have to cut back on what you spend on her (as well as lots of other things).
Hopeful30 Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 maybe because she knows you can afford it now every girl wants presents and for a man to spoil her
irin Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 gold digger? she isnt a golder digger, you just spoilt her, and got used being with generous and giving person. thats why presents (expensive ones) should be kept for special occasions.
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