LoveHurts88 Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Last time we spoke was last Friday, she usually messages me but she hasnt since the last time we spoke. I am really tempted to message her but i dont know if i should. She broke up with me. However she still has her stuff left at my house should i msg her to setup a time for me to give it back? When she broke up with me i never messaged her once it was her that messaged me first. Now she hasnt messaged me yet nor will she, i dont know. She is probably happy and seeing someone else knowing her.
mistermr Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I'm dying to break NC too. But is it worth resetting the process for a quick phone call/text? If you break it now, you will have to go through those first 5 days again. Give yourself at target of 30 days If you have her stuff she may contact you anyway. In 30 days, ask yourself if you think it's worth doing another 30 days, after having had to reset the process again, hopefully you will feel less inclined to. Stay strong brother!
Author LoveHurts88 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 I'm dying to break NC too. But is it worth resetting the process for a quick phone call/text? If you break it now, you will have to go through those first 5 days again. Give yourself at target of 30 days If you have her stuff she may contact you anyway. In 30 days, ask yourself if you think it's worth doing another 30 days, after having had to reset the process again, hopefully you will feel less inclined to. Stay strong brother! We broke up about a month ago, and she just said that the stuff isnt a necessity.. I just want her back. =[
mistermr Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I just want her back. =[ I know mate. I know it's hard. You're just going to have to pick yourself up and get on with your own life for now. You never know, she may return but also remember she may not. The more likely outcome is that you'll meet someone better. You and your ex, as it seems so far, weren't meant to be. It does get easier. Just keep your chin up.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 I know mate. I know it's hard. You're just going to have to pick yourself up and get on with your own life for now. You never know, she may return but also remember she may not. The more likely outcome is that you'll meet someone better. You and your ex, as it seems so far, weren't meant to be. It does get easier. Just keep your chin up. Thanks! At first i was okay but now i just wanna message her and tell her i miss her. If not i would want her to grab her stuff so she knows im still around. Maybe shes waiting for me to talk to her. When we talk it seems like we neer broke up
D-One Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Day 5 here too brother and I absolutely want to break NC but its not worth it. The day we broke up i just took her all her stuff and that was it. Havent heard a word from her since and like you mentioned your girl is probably dating someone else by now...so is mine. Just continue NC it's the only way, otherwise you risk looking like a love sick puppy and nobody wants that. Stay strong man
lovehurts82 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Thanks! At first i was okay but now i just wanna message her and tell her i miss her. If not i would want her to grab her stuff so she knows im still around. Maybe shes waiting for me to talk to her. When we talk it seems like we neer broke up First off.. Love the name Anyhow.. in response to your message.. No! Don't break NC. You're still not healing because you're still trying to hang on. Her things are still there and out for you to look at and see and it allows you to hold on to the hope that she'll come back around. You're using her getting her things as an excuse for contact.. and it's NOT worth it. I tried keeping in contact for the first few days with my ex.. kept him on Facebook.. EVERY time that I heard from him, saw pictures of him and his new (week later) fiancee, saw the things he had given me, it absolutely destroyed me. I felt HORRIBLE. I don't know your story, but I doubt she's waiting for you to talk to her. If she wanted to be with you, she would be there with you. She'd be beating on your door to talk to you. She broke it off. As for it feeling like you never broke up when you talk.. she's keeping you on a string.. or like a toy on a shelf.. making sure you're still there as a backup in case something new and exciting doesn't work out. Pack her things up and if she doesn't want them.. their not important.. GET RID of them. If you can't bring yourself to do that, then pack them up and put them away in a closet where you don't have to look at them. Then, keep yourself busy. Keep your mind engaged so that you don't have time to sit around and think about the situation. Hang out with friends, pick up a hobby, go to the gym.. anything that you can to keep busy. Yes it's hard, I'm going through it myself after a pretty horrible set of events, but it gets easier. Work on yourself. Better your life. Find happiness in yourself and stay strong. If there's a chance for the two of you to reconcile the situation, one of the sure ways to push her further away is by hounding her.. begging and pleading.. crying to her about how much you miss her. In her mind, it'll make you look weak and she'll know that you'll sit around waiting for her and she can keep you around as her fallback. Trust me! That's NOT the position you want to be in. I'm finding out that that's what I seemed to be for several years at the beginning of my 7 year relationship and it's not fun. Don't waste your time waiting around on something that may never happen. I wish I could get back those 7 years. But.. I'm finding out how much stronger of a person I am through all of this, so it's not all gone to waste. Hang in there hun, but don't give up! Don't give in! Post here if you need to, but keep NC! It's for your own benefit and healing. If you keep talking to her and break it, it's just like you're opening those wounds over and over again, beating yourself up over what ifs.. Be strong!
Author LoveHurts88 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 First off.. Love the name Anyhow.. in response to your message.. No! Don't break NC. You're still not healing because you're still trying to hang on. Her things are still there and out for you to look at and see and it allows you to hold on to the hope that she'll come back around. You're using her getting her things as an excuse for contact.. and it's NOT worth it. I tried keeping in contact for the first few days with my ex.. kept him on Facebook.. EVERY time that I heard from him, saw pictures of him and his new (week later) fiancee, saw the things he had given me, it absolutely destroyed me. I felt HORRIBLE. I don't know your story, but I doubt she's waiting for you to talk to her. If she wanted to be with you, she would be there with you. She'd be beating on your door to talk to you. She broke it off. As for it feeling like you never broke up when you talk.. she's keeping you on a string.. or like a toy on a shelf.. making sure you're still there as a backup in case something new and exciting doesn't work out. Pack her things up and if she doesn't want them.. their not important.. GET RID of them. If you can't bring yourself to do that, then pack them up and put them away in a closet where you don't have to look at them. Then, keep yourself busy. Keep your mind engaged so that you don't have time to sit around and think about the situation. Hang out with friends, pick up a hobby, go to the gym.. anything that you can to keep busy. Yes it's hard, I'm going through it myself after a pretty horrible set of events, but it gets easier. Work on yourself. Better your life. Find happiness in yourself and stay strong. If there's a chance for the two of you to reconcile the situation, one of the sure ways to push her further away is by hounding her.. begging and pleading.. crying to her about how much you miss her. In her mind, it'll make you look weak and she'll know that you'll sit around waiting for her and she can keep you around as her fallback. Trust me! That's NOT the position you want to be in. I'm finding out that that's what I seemed to be for several years at the beginning of my 7 year relationship and it's not fun. Don't waste your time waiting around on something that may never happen. I wish I could get back those 7 years. But.. I'm finding out how much stronger of a person I am through all of this, so it's not all gone to waste. Hang in there hun, but don't give up! Don't give in! Post here if you need to, but keep NC! It's for your own benefit and healing. If you keep talking to her and break it, it's just like you're opening those wounds over and over again, beating yourself up over what ifs.. Be strong! Thanks, much needed wake up call. However she also owes me money and she said she would pay me back every month.. Its the end of the month.. Do i ask her for it or? What should I do. During the first week of our break-up I went out with friends almost everyday did activities and what not and I did not miss her much but as of late ever since I got a job (pretty boring) and what not I've been thinking of her. It's true if she wanted to be with me she would come knocking on my door as she knows where I live. Regardless I would have to see her for a full year as she has to pay me some money at the end of every month.
InAFog Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 In the same situation with my ex owing me money and making monthly payments. I first off sent him a contract to sign and return stating the terms of the payments. Just a friendly reminder so he didn't think he could blow it off. When it was getting pretty late into the month and i hadn't received a check i texted him to give him another nudge. I wish I hadn't. The check was in the mail and the texting just led to grief. I think from now on if i have to deal with him about it again I will get someone else to contact him.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 In the same situation with my ex owing me money and making monthly payments. I first off sent him a contract to sign and return stating the terms of the payments. Just a friendly reminder so he didn't think he could blow it off. When it was getting pretty late into the month and i hadn't received a check i texted him to give him another nudge. I wish I hadn't. The check was in the mail and the texting just led to grief. I think from now on if i have to deal with him about it again I will get someone else to contact him. I haven't given her a contract or anything but I'm sure she's good for it. I would just have to meet or or I can tell her to place the money in my mailbox. Although I would love to see her at least once a month.. last time we talked she demanded that I treat her to dinner.. I would love to do that as well.. but only because I love her
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