lonely88 Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Hi my name is Nikki. Im 24 yrs old with 3 kids and I am supposed to get married in october to my fiance of 1 yr and recently he has moved in with his sister in longview who happens to have this neighbor that is a dug addict and used to sell dope and lately they have came back to town but we dont know why and he doesnt call me for days at a time I am worried about him since he has been hanging with this drug addict since he moved with his sister now me and the sister have a close bond and I dont want to turn my back on him because everyone else has given up on him and I want to be here for him when he does come back home where he belongs. He constantly denies being addicted to anything but alcohol. What should I do?
darkmoon Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 "I dont want to turn my back on him because everyone else has given up on him" what will you be doing for him that he can't do for himself?
Radu Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Just 24hs in a day, you are 24yrs old ... and you have 3 kids. Who needs you more ?; the 3 kids or this guy ? 3
pink_sugar Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Is he the father of any of your kids? If not, the kids are a priority now. For a woman your age, you have a lot on your plate. I'm 23 and I couldn't imagine even having one child right now.
wow04 Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 STOP!!! If he is a drug addict it is going to be horrible before you know it. You can't make him quit using and it could take many years before he realizes he has a problem. Drug addicts are liars and will lie about everything. I am speaking from experience. I am a recovering addict with 9 1/2 years clean. The thing that help me get sober is when I lost everyone I loved and had no one to help me. Take your three kids and be a mom to them. They need you now. 4
pteromom Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Hi my name is Nikki. Im 24 yrs old with 3 kids and I am supposed to get married in october to my fiance of 1 yr and recently he has moved in with his sister in longview who happens to have this neighbor that is a dug addict and used to sell dope and lately they have came back to town but we dont know why and he doesnt call me for days at a time I am worried about him since he has been hanging with this drug addict since he moved with his sister now me and the sister have a close bond and I dont want to turn my back on him because everyone else has given up on him and I want to be here for him when he does come back home where he belongs. He constantly denies being addicted to anything but alcohol. What should I do? I'm a little confused about your story. You are saying that your FIANCE is now hanging out with this drug addict and doesn't call you for days at a time? If that's the case, DO NOT marry him unless and until this is resolved. EVEN IF he isn't addicted to drugs, being addicted to alcohol is enough reason NOT to marry him - ESPECIALLY with kids in the picture! Even if he wasn't addicted to anything, him disappearing for days at a time is enough reason NOT to marry him. Do not marry him. He's not the type of responsible person you want in your children's lives. Remember, they will learn how to live from any man you bring into their lives. 4
Greznog Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I would advise you to upgrade your taste in men, though I realize a 24 year old with 3 children isn't really in a position to set sky high standards.
Lauriebell82 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Alcohol is a drug, and a very serious one at that. Maybe you don't have proof that he is using other drugs, but you should be taking his alcoholism VERY seriously and a huge red flag. Addicted men do not make good husbands, men in recovery do. I would not consider marrying him unless he gets himself some help.
RiverRunning Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Addicted to alcohol? He's out. You and your kids deserve better. At your age, and already with so many kids, you are going to find dating prospects more limited. But you will still find GOOD men out there. Don't put up with this crap. You deserve better than someone who doesn't contact you for days. I'll also say that at your age, having only dated him a year or so, it's a bad idea to be getting married so soon.
strongnrelaxed Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 While I respect and appreciate your posting this question here, I am worried that you would even have to ask it. Someone once told me that people ask for advice to get the answers they already know, but don't want to hear. You are getting good advice here. Run for the hills. You are not the savior of the world or any other human being. Save yourself and your children. You will find someone else. You know this. Gather your strength and courage and move on. You already know this is the right thing to do or you wouldn't have posted this in the way that you did. Am I wrong?
Lauriebell82 Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 While I respect and appreciate your posting this question here, I am worried that you would even have to ask it. Someone once told me that people ask for advice to get the answers they already know, but don't want to hear. You are getting good advice here. Run for the hills. You are not the savior of the world or any other human being. Save yourself and your children. You will find someone else. You know this. Gather your strength and courage and move on. You already know this is the right thing to do or you wouldn't have posted this in the way that you did. Am I wrong? She already knows the answer to her question, but she may be posting to find someone out there who will encourage her to marry this man. Then she has a loophole because SOMEONE ELSE agrees with her, therefore it's the right thing to do. I've seen it many times.
strongnrelaxed Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 She already knows the answer to her question, but she may be posting to find someone out there who will encourage her to marry this man. Then she has a loophole because SOMEONE ELSE agrees with her, therefore it's the right thing to do. I've seen it many times. Good point.
Recommended Posts