Colorblind Posted July 19, 2004 Posted July 19, 2004 I did a search to help cope with my feelings and thankfully i found this place. My name is Patrick, i am 21 years old and will finish school up next May. My situation is this, this past summer 2 session i transfered to a new school 300 miles away from where i was for two reasons. 1, to get away from my hometown, 2 to be near my girlfriend. A week before i moved down she said she wanted to "take a break", and after a few conversations she said she wants to lead a single life. We had made plans for me to move down here, for her to go to Law School, and wherever she went to i would start my career off in that city. I want to give her space yet she calls me every day to come over to her apt to hang out, currently i am limited to my options of what i can do with my time as i know nobody in this city except her. Every though i have is that i want to be able to tell her i love her, that she means the world, i want our intimate acts as well as psychological thoughts of us and our used to be happiness. This person has been my only love in my life, but i believe with all my heart she is my soul mate. I am not sure if i can keep repressing my emotional feelings at bay and every time i halt myself from saying how i love her, its like a nail into my heart. She says im the perfect boyfriend "shes right", and would be the perfect husband and father. She also said love is about time, and i believe she got scared knowing that in just a few years we would have been married. Emotionally im about to break down into a depression, every night i want to cry "and for the first time in ~5-10years i cried while talking to her about a week ago". every minute i spend in my thoughts, are almost entierly upon her or us. i am having problems sleeping, and more importantly im unable to eat for the most part. any past experiences or present thoughts would be in grattitude. Patrick
Blah Toolz Posted July 19, 2004 Posted July 19, 2004 I think that you need to stop hanging around with her for a bit... if she really wants to "take a break" from you, then she needs to see what it's like without you. Make her miss you... The first month can be the hardest after a break-up. I was still in shock... and I had trouble eating the first few days. Just try to keep yourself busy at work... and get yourself involved in whatever hobbies you may have had before you met her, or make some new ones.
Author Colorblind Posted July 19, 2004 Author Posted July 19, 2004 I think that you need to stop hanging around with her for a bit... if she really wants to "take a break" from you, then she needs to see what it's like without you. Make her miss you... i agree, but the problem is this, im in a new enviroment where i know her friends, and just her, thats it.... i have nobody down here.
NoButter Posted July 19, 2004 Posted July 19, 2004 Yes, it's crappy that you moved to be there for her and then she dumped you. She obviously wants to enjoy college life as a single person-so you should too. Stop moping and being miserable and whining and crying. You're 21, it's not the end of the world. Get out there, go to school, make new friends. Stop wallowing in self pity. Go out, and DO THINGS. Be active, and involved. Take this time to experience life outside your home town. Your love sounds smothering-why not try to back off and put things into perspective? There are other girls out there. The longer you focus on this, the harder it's going to be to get over it. Don't let her take advantage of you emotionally either.
RoboHobo Posted July 19, 2004 Posted July 19, 2004 Hey Colorblind, I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, I'm in a very similar position myself, one of the differences is that she is contacting you. My ex has asked for a month or so of no contact and it isn't any easier. I have also lost my appetite, constantly think about her, can't sleep, and when I do sleep I dream about her. I can't offer much advice besides giving her her space and trusting her. Try to do things that make you happy, and stay strong. I wish I could tell you that you guys will definitely work out, there is no certainty that it will, but if you love her never give up hope. Although it may not seem like it at the moment things will work out for the best. Being at college are there not any sports clubs or societies that you could join to make friends? Try to find some if you can, it will help. take advantage of college life to help get you through this, I'm stuck in an office with only my computer for company, it is a far worse place to be. You need to think about her, just don't let her be your only thought, and this can only be done by not being by yourself. Good luck, and try to eat a little.
PurpleMonkey Posted July 19, 2004 Posted July 19, 2004 Wow....Well maybe she isn't ready to be in a steady relationship...maybe she isn't strong enough-emotional wise....Talk to her and find out exactly why she wants a break...I'm sure that just because she wants a break that doesn't mean she doesn't want you around.
Author Colorblind Posted July 19, 2004 Author Posted July 19, 2004 i believe i will tell her tonight that i cant see her on a daily basis, and i hope one day she will realize what she is missing out on and we will get back togeather, if not, i guess i should just try and regroup my life and move on at my own pace. thoughts?
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