Ask him if it's only friends w/benefits, or just see how it unfolds???

[Tatiana82]

I have a situation I could really use some advice on. Please be patient with me if these seems like a naive question, I haven't particularly had the best luck with guys and reading them and understanding takes a while for me.

I have an online long distance kind of thing going on. I've met this guy about a month ago, he and I have had two dates, both of which have been awesome. Our last date, we spent half a day together, we've kissed, done a bit more but nothing "inappropriate for 2nd date" kind of things. I can definately tell I'm starting to like this guy and have my fingers crossed that it may someday lead to something. However, I'd like to know exactally what his intentions are. My last relationship ended up with me finding out the guy had 6 or 7 other girls he took out on dates and decided he was through with me when he found out I wasn't going to sleep with him, and I DON'T want a repeat of that kind of hurt.

So guys, my question for you is, would it freak you out if a girl you'd been on two dates with

told you she really enjoys spending time with you, but would like to know if you just had a friends with benefits thing going on, or if even though it is still early, that it could become something more someday?

 

Should I go ahead and just ask him this, or just see how things unfold first?

[reasontosigh]

Hmmmm....I'm not a guy but just thought I'd ask for more info anyway.

 

How much distance is between you two?

[Tatiana82]

Hey no problem, just advice from anyone would be helpful. There's a 2 hours drive between us, and even way before he came into the picture I have been considering moving nearby the city for a while.

[reasontosigh]

OK, so you're really not going to pick up anything through the grapevine.

 

Two dates in the space of a month isn't bad, given the distance. You could always say you enjoy spending time with him, but no, I wouldn't go asking flat out at this point. About all you can do is see if you can pick up some clues in your online conversations.

 

Is he aware of your wish to move closer to his area?

[Tatiana82]

No, we haven't had a chance to talk about where things stand at the moment.

[reasontosigh]

The only thing I can think of right now is wait till you hear from him again and see what sort of direction he moves in. Unless there's another date coming up soon you will have to pick up what you can from talking online.

 

I can understand your not wanting to end up in a situation like your previous one, yet you don't want to be pushy with this guy either. I guess you can only hope for the best while being prepared for whatever else, good or bad, may happen.

 

Good luck.

[clia]

My last relationship ended up with me finding out the guy had 6 or 7 other girls he took out on dates and decided he was through with me when he found out I wasn't going to sleep with him, and I DON'T want a repeat of that kind of hurt.

 

While it's terrible that you had to go through this, this is part of dating. Most people I know do date multiple people at the same time until they decide to be exclusive with one. Further, there are a lot of guys out there who will dump you if you won't sleep with them. That's just the way it is. You have to weed through the fools to find the winners.

 

So guys, my question for you is, would it freak you out if a girl you'd been on two dates with

told you she really enjoys spending time with you, but would like to know if you just had a friends with benefits thing going on, or if even though it is still early, that it could become something more someday?

 

I think it's way too early to have a relationship/intentions talk. You've had two great dates. Just go with the flow.

 

Should I go ahead and just ask him this, or just see how things unfold first?

 

While you are at it, date others -- then if this doesn't work out, it won't hurt as much.