shortee143 Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Hi all- it has been awhile since I posted, took a break off here, but having setbacks. Short back story: ex and I are in same social circle, he has done horrid things to me, we live together with 3 other friends and it is something I can't get out of currently. Since we broke up, he has had several other short term relationships. The more girls he goes thru, the more terrible I feel about myself. Why??? He cheats, lies, does not care about anyone's being but himself. It blows my self esteem into the ground. He is never single, as in he always has a girl, or one on the back burner to move to when his relationship fails. In reality I should smile bc he is going to get nowhere with these relationships...he never stays single to reflect, or learn who he is or what he wants. How is he getting these girls nonstop? one dumps him, or he loses interest, and bam, there is another. Now mind you, I "watch" this all go on in front of my face, and I have toughed it out and I am trying oh so hard to continue doing so. I hate living with him, being around him- but right now, it is how it is. Watching him move on from girl to girl is killing me, bc he (theoretically, not logically I suppose) can have me, but doesnt want me. I never even learned why he left. Why are these thoughts so powerful?? Anyone else deal with watching ex move on right in front of you, or having to be around it, and deal with confidence/self esteem? I just want to be happy, be glad I am rid of him. If I dont care and realzie this, then being around hi mwill be a heck of a lot easier. My mind knows he is not a good person, so what is going on with me?? thanks for any advice!
AwptiK Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 After seeing more and more how he is about the girls in his life, shouldn't you be glad you're not another one of them again? I personally think that someone who just can't be single and HAS to have someone to fill a void, isn't comfortable enough in their own skin and gets their fulfillment out of others. I recently found out how attractive it is to find someone who can be alone and be perfectly fine. Doesn't mean they don't want someone, but it just means they don't need someone. As for my personal story..my ex left me 6 days ago, and instantly found a guy in her classes who was "very similar to me". I still don't understand how she can throw away our relationship and everything she ever said to me in two days. The worst part is hearing her tell our mutual friend that she'd rather be with this other guy. But, this new guy dropped her like a rock yesterday, so now i'm watching her struggle seemingly worse than she did with our breakup :/ After a while, I guess you fight, struggle and hurt enough that you finally realize you can't ever be the same together again...
paperboy48 Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I have kids with my ex, so I have to have "limited contact" with my Ex. My Ex starting dating someone within a month of our break-up after being with me for 16 years. Seven months later she is still with the same guy. Talk about someone who is not comfotable being alone and comfortable in their own skin. Basically, she latched on to the first gu who paid attention to her. She knows he is not step-father material but continues to be with him because he is nice to her... This guys is now around my kids and I hear about the things they do with him and the things mommy and the boyfirnd do together, etc. It is very difficult to see or hear about your ex with someone else, it is probably the most difficult things I have ever had to deal with but, it will get easier. Why can't one of you move into another place?
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