How long should I wait?

[Kelemvor]

So... married 2 years, separated a few weeks,no kids...D word came up multiple times over those 2 years and wife knew I had been to see a lawyer months ago so I don't think anything should have been a major surprise.

 

The dilemma is that I need her cooperation with the divorce proceedings based on the current state that I'm living in. I've suggested a more than generous settlement offer that involves money, able to live in the house with all expenses paid for... for the duration of the divorce proceedings which would be 2-3 months. That, along with the money should give her ample time to find a new place considering that she has a decent job.

 

However, she remains in a sort of quasi-denial. She won't accept an agreement and seems to just want to put this off indefinitely and "hope" that it will all work out. It really doesn't make sense to me because as I said, this should not be a shocker and we've both seen this coming for awhile. I've been more than clear in all my communications (face to face, email, etc..) that there is no chance for re-conciliation. Since she won't help facilitate a settlement, she is staying in the house. The house is mine, mortgage in my name, most of the furniture is mine as I brought it all to the marriage. I offered it in the settlement along with everything else, but again... she won't bite.

 

So, I'm stuck in this weird place where I want someone's cooperation, but can't get it, and am reaching the point where I'm asking myself whether I should just give up trying to be nice about all of this and make it as uncomfortable for her as it is for me? I risk pissing her off in the process, but I honestly don't see that I have anything to lose at this point.

 

I can't remove her from the house, but am having to look into seeking an apartment for several more months until I can move which would be to a different state where divorce is more easily attainable. I can't make her pay the mortgage because it's in my name and if it defaults, it goes on me. I can however turn all the bills off and force her to pay them if she's going to continue to live there as I've been paying for everything since day 1. I could also remove all of my furniture which would include almost everything or the vast majority that is in the house. I even offered to let her re-finance the house in her name and keep it, but she won't bite on that either.

 

I'm a high wage earner but have severe educational debt that will take many years to pay off, so I don't see a monetary incentive in dragging this out since as long as I don't spend any money on assets that would be divided. I'm honestly fine with moving to a different state and living in a rental and taking any money I earned and putting it all towards education debt until I were to be granted a divorce, however long that might be. So, again... I don't see how there would be any monetary incentive as I'm offering a pretty nice bargain at the moment and have told her that I'm only going to offer it once.

 

Any suggestions or has anyone found themselves in a similar situation? I'm giving it a few more days and then just plan on making this as uncomfortable for her as possible because I feel that I have nothing to lose and the more "nice" I am in the situation, the more she will likely have no desire to cooperate with a divorce.

 

What do you think? I'm in a quandary.

[Kelemvor]

why won`t you reconcile?

 

It's irrelevant.