rd1978 Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 ok i dont know what direction to go in at this point,,,,,5 years,, split for 3 months, she broke up,w/me,,,she was dating somone else,, asked her not to contact me,, she was writing me on instant messanger and calling me the whole 3 months,, like on average 3-4 days a week between bolth,, we never talked about us... and i never contacted her 1 time.....And i also refused to talk to her for the first month ,, then 1 day i started talking to her again.. so finally she started to get mad at me for stuff,, i was going out and doing fun things and whatnot,,, ,, then she was getting mad at me for not calling her back.. i basically was neutral and showed no feelings, she was the 1 who tried to get me to hang out,,, she was the jelious one asking questions,,, she is the one calling me ,,,,, so i day when she was complainin about me not calling her back i wasked her whats she wants ,, and told her how i feel and that i loved her and wanted to be the person she always wanted me to be etc.et.c i said all the right stuff she has always wanted to hear..... without going overboard.. so this made her think like crazy about everything and she admitted she had been thinking about me before i had told her how i felt..... and after i told her she was thinking about it like crazy,, then admitted she was dating someone else,, so i told her i must move on then ,,, and she freaked saying,, how can you tell me you love me so much and then saying your moving on,, you didnt mean a word of what you said blah blah.... and i told her well your with someone,, then she asked for a couple of days to think about everything,, because she just couldnt make a decision at that moment,,,, and she said she was considering everything i had told her,, and believed me.... so the next day she said she was going to break it off and be single,,, and wanted to hang out a little and see what happens,,, now her sister was getting married this weekend and she was suppost to take this other guy,, to the wedding,, now it ended up that she was ingoring him for the past 2 weeks,, and the day before the wedding he had said he probally wasnt going to go but wanted to know if she wanted him to ,, and she said she didnt.... she told me she didnt want him to anyway but didnt know how to uninvite him,,,,so i ended up going to the rehearsal dinner and we decided i wasnt going ot the wedding because things were still awkward because we had only seen each other 1 time in 3 months..... NOW do i continue letting her contact me ,, and see where it goes for like 2-3 weeks ,, or kinda just say you know how i feel but i have to move on untill your ready to be with me...... the door is open but no promises..... the thing is i never put in my 110% because i wasnt sure what i wanted and now im ready to do so... im just dont know if i keep talking to her then her feelings will get comfortable and things wont work ouit,,, or if i tell her im moving on then she will realize she is going to lose me?????? I want her to realize ive changed,,,,, But im also sick of the inbetween stuff,,ANY HELP OR IDEAS WOULD BE GRATEFULL.....
jw32802 Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 wait so you guys were still talking when you broke up so maybe thats why you guys couldnt figure out what to do but when was it that you cut off all contact and STOPPED TALKING and how long did it take for you to change and realize what you wanted and also, did you date others?
Author rd1978 Posted July 18, 2004 Author Posted July 18, 2004 the thing is when she broke up with me i know she was second guessing it the whole time,,, her mind went back and forth,,, At the time of the breakup i asked her NOT to call, or write ,or anything,, because if this was what she really wanted then there are things that go with the decision,, and she said BUT if i dont talk to you for a couple of days i miss you,, and i said if you dont want to work ont his then your going to have to deal with it,, so that was it,,, from 1 hour after untill a week later she called me,, id dint awnser and this made her go crazy hangint out with this guy that was asking her to and going out and drinking during the week and weekends for like 3 weeks straight,, and it was about a month after when i finally started talking to her again and he was sooooooooo estatic that i would talk to her....... so i kept talking to her,but only when she would contact me would be anywhere from 1 to 6 days a week,,, 3-4 on an average,,but alot more recently She just cant let me go,,, she said it is extremly hard for her to let me go BUT she broke up with me and is seeing someone else which is bullsh*t,,,, And i told her we cannot talk if we are seeing anyone else,,,, I hung out with a couple of people nothing serious though i know im not ready and i dont want to hurt anyone else.... And it makes thigns difficult because im still talking to her at the same time,, so i know it isnt fair to the other person.... and the guy she was dating has no clue... she is acting very selfish and immature part of me thinks she doesnt understand and needs to see me with someone else for a touch of reality,,,,,But then again it was only last tues that i told her everything about how i felt... so maybe i need to give it a little time,,, as soon as she told me she was dating another person and i said im moving on ,,, she about lost it,, and told me i couldnt have meant everything i had said,, because i was moving on so fast,, so i told her i have no choice , she is with someone else ,,and cant wait around because im not getting any younger,,, i have loved her the whole time,,, But i did tell her one of the reasons i couldnt put 110% in is because i didnt know anything else and i had to go do that,, and ive realized that i want to be with her ,, but if thats not what she wants then i have to move on,,,,,I basically wanted to give it my all because we have 5 years invested and i need to know for myself if it would have ever worked ,, instead of always wondering......
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