SJC2008 Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Yall know my hist. I started trying harder to date about a year and a half ago and have gone from no second dates to not fourth date. I have tried everything from flirting and being more physical. I wen't from 1st kisses on the second date to kissing on the first date. The first girl I kissed on a first date never called me back and I had a second date with the next one with a mini make out and a few kisses during the date and she faded (interested thread). I'm not trying to rationalize bc I'm a pretty "normal" dude but it's either because of getting GIG'd on OLD or something I'M DOING?? Any suggestions?
WhatsMyName Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Just keep trying... I mean it takes people years to find a "Spark" with someone. Don't fret. Also, most important, keep living for yourself and being happy. If you find someone, great, if not, thats ok too. Good luck
Author SJC2008 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 I'm to the point where unless a woman relentlessly pursues me or if I go for a woman who is obese I'm going to die single. I must be a lot ugglier than I thougt it shouldn't be this hard.
Author SJC2008 Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 Not trying to bump but I'm getting really frustrated. I'm going to make it to 31 having never had a girlfriend and having only 2 sexual experiences in my life. I get so mad when I think about it, it really upsets me. I feel like I was robbed from an important part of life. I want to have sex with a woman is that too much to ask for? I don't have unrealistic standards. Some posters talk about getting "hot" girls and attractive european women but I just want a decent looking girl with a great personality. I've NEVER amied for bikini girls or super hot ones but I just feel like to get a decent girl you have to be really thin or close to it. I get so sick and tired of seeing decent/cute girls who are flabby/thick with skinny guys, it makes me wanna puke. I'm really in the freak zone now I mean who makes it to this age without even one fking r?? I have no choice but to lie now and make something up. At this age a woman would be gone in an instant.
tori0001 Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 You might be trying too hard, and people read that. Take one day at a time, and the right person will come along.
Author SJC2008 Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 You might be trying too hard, and people read that. Take one day at a time, and the right person will come along. I doubt it but you never know. I just don't get it at all. For instance on the 3rd date with the one girl I really liked. We were talking about OLD and I was giving a mans perspective and I said some times nobody responds and some times a lot of them do and you're like oh crap. Then she says "Date them". Why would you say something like that? Especially when you've been out 3 times? The thing that confuses me the most is showing interest but not too much too soon, meanwhile most people are in the sack between dates 3-5.
runner Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 probably not what you want to hear, but i think the best option is to keep going until you really click with someone. you know, the whole 'kissing a lot of frogs first' thing. for now it probably doesn't hurt to take a short break; do a bunch of stuff you love, be around awesome people, and just don't 'date' like it's some mission. live. who knows, you may meet someone by some chance accident, in real life. OLD can be soul destroying after a while (so i've heard; i refues to do it).
LeoNguyen Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 There are generally no hard and fast rules in dating. Just like you pointed out...sometimes you don't want to show too much interest too soon. And yet, there are many people who have sex after just 3-5 dates. So what's the problem? You've been making some mistakes over and over again during your dates. I don't know what you did and neither will you. This is going to sound a little crazy but the best way for you to figure this out so that you don't keep doing the same mistakes... Is to ask a friend to call your dates and ask them why they didn't want to see you again. Keep prying them until they tell the whole story. I know a dating coach who did this for her female clients. She actually called 1,000 men and asked them why they never called her clients back after the first date. As a result? She told her female clients about it. Mistakes were fixed. And they ended up in great relationships with a good man. If you're curious, here's her book: http://www.amazon.com/Have-Him-Hello-Confessions-About/dp/0307406547
Author SJC2008 Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 There are generally no hard and fast rules in dating. Just like you pointed out...sometimes you don't want to show too much interest too soon. And yet, there are many people who have sex after just 3-5 dates. So what's the problem? You've been making some mistakes over and over again during your dates. I don't know what you did and neither will you. This is going to sound a little crazy but the best way for you to figure this out so that you don't keep doing the same mistakes... Is to ask a friend to call your dates and ask them why they didn't want to see you again. Keep prying them until they tell the whole story. I know a dating coach who did this for her female clients. She actually called 1,000 men and asked them why they never called her clients back after the first date. As a result? She told her female clients about it. Mistakes were fixed. And they ended up in great relationships with a good man. If you're curious, here's her book: Amazon.com: Have Him at Hello: Confessions from 1,000 Guys About What Makes Them Fall in Love . . . Or Never Call Back (9780307406545): Rachel Greenwald: Books I thought about asking former dates and even posted here once about it. The problem with that is that out of the 10 women I've dated in the last year and a halff is that I really only liked 2 of them. I keep thinking about the last one I really liked. If things worked out we'd be gong on 7 months and that eats me alive inside. Looking back I think I blew a great opportunity but I shouldn't blame myself. She never initiated once in three dates. Sent me out there blind IMO. OTOH it was only 3 dates and mabye she would of started doing so further along the courtship. But plenty of people, myself included, agreed she should of initiated at least once in that time frame. I know some women do that to make sure the guy likes them but sooner or later it turns into if you like me you come to me. Men need to feel wanted too.
truth_seeker Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 My advice: 1) Abandon OLD, get in involved in social clubs, acivities so you will expand your social circle. Most of the people I know met their husband or wife through someone they know (family member or friend). The more people you know, the chance they will introduce you to someone. 2) If you are sexual frustrated, dude, this is an easy fix. The world we live in now, getting sex is as easy as picking up the remote control. You can't be picky though. 1
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