Ariesgirl Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 I am in love with 2 guys! please respond fast. Guy1: We have been dating for 3 years. We have lived together 2+ years. We have talked about marriage, but no ring yet. I love him very much, and have never even looked at another guy. He is very close to being everything I have always wanted. We do act like we are married. We have our ups and downs. We argue about the same things over and over. There are a few issues that are threatening our relationship right now, on both sides. There is a lot of history between us. Guy2: I have known him for 1 month. We met on accident. He is everything I have always wanted. It was basically love at first sight for both of us. We talked more, and it was strange. There were so many "coincidences" that it really feels like someone/something is trying to tell us to be together. Everyone we have told about these "signs" feels the same way. We have found out a lot about eachother. He said he fell in love with me, and I probably would say it back if I wasn't with Guy1. It just seems meant to be. Question/s: Do I leave my more stable relationship for someone who I have only known a month? If so, how?
jw32802 Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 woah a month? I dont know, i think you are in that infatuation stage. You might really regret this. I would tell your boyfriend that since you guys are having some problems you should take a month apart. Play this new guy out and see where it goes. people say it is wrong to do that but i always told my ex that if he ever had feeligns for someone, id rather him play it out than stay with me and THINK about her all the time. it never happeend but i know im a great girl and that in the end im better than another girl...Just watch it cuz a month is not long enough, how many tiems have you hung out?
Author Ariesgirl Posted July 18, 2004 Author Posted July 18, 2004 We have talked on the phone 10+ times. We have been sneaking around to see eachother when he's in town. ( oh..he lives 5 hrs away.) We've hung out about 5-6 times. The new guy DOES know I have a boyfriend. I feel like I am dragging him around while I decide what to do. But I can't stand the though of being without him. I have told my boyfriend I need space, and he has been really cold and not really talking to me. He said he doesn't want to give me space just to have me break it off down the road.
TommyGirl Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 What is that Guy #2 has that Guy #1 doesn't? How is he almost close to being what you want? Was Guy #1 your first serious relationship?
Shasta Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 This sounds like something I went through when I was 17. I was in a very serious relationship with someone, and ended up "taking time apart" to see what else was out there. The other guy I liked was nice and all, but nothing came of it because it ended up not being what I really wanted. If this is your first serious relationship, I can see why you are now questioning if you really want to be with this guy. I say, if you have questions and doubts, than you should really evaluate your relationship and consider breaking it off with this guy. There are more fish in the sea as they say, and you could be passing up a good relationship because you feel like your "stuck" in a relationship. If you feel that way, then don't be in one.
Sundaymorning Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 I think it is time for you to really question yourself if you should be with guy number 1. If no, leave him now, stop cheating on him (basically you are beginning to). You are being unfair to him. Guy number two- yes you are in infatuation stage. If he knows you have a man and is still trying to talk to you and get with you- you should look at that- if he can do it with you, he can do it to you. never forget that. I think you already questioning him and you is either 1) you just looking at the other side of the fence which has greener grass or 2) you two need to break up, but it seems this relationship is good. Basically, you just have to grow up. thats it. then it will come to you.
Author Ariesgirl Posted July 18, 2004 Author Posted July 18, 2004 Guy#1 is not my 1st serious relationship. I've had 2 other serious relationships that have lasted 2+ yrs. He is only "almost close to being what I want" because we have the same disagreements over and over about basic things like me going out with my friends. I barely leave the house--only 1 time a month, only for the past 3 months. Before that I hadn't been out without him for almost 2 yrs. I don't know what exactly it is about Guy#2, its kinda everything! He has the perfect exterior-body, face, eyes. He talks with a southern accent, which I have always liked. We have the same colored eyes with the same brown speck in the same spot! We have the same ideas about a lot of major relationship issues, too. He has a big circle of friends, and has no problem with me having a life.
Sundaymorning Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 guy # 2 is your easy way out of having to work to fix your relationship with the first one. there is no perfect guy out there, yu need to realize that. all realtions take work.
Shasta Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 Seems to me like Guy #1 is trying to control every little thing you do. I personally need time with friends, and if he doesn't understand that, then he has to go. Maybe you should look at why he doesn't want you to go out with friends. If he isn't letting you do what you want to, then you seriously need to re-evaluate why your with him.
ziggue Posted July 19, 2004 Posted July 19, 2004 I agree with Sundaymorning. Guy #2 sounds like your easy way out from Guy #1. Maybe you just want to have that exciting new fresh feeling at the start of a relationship again? If Guy #1 sounds as controlling as you say I say dump him too. I have been with a guy kind of similar to that and I felt like I was walking on eggshells around him as well as being controlled. The guy is now my Ex from like 2 years ago. Like Guy #2 my current boyfriend of almost 5 months has got plenty of friends. It's good when they have more friends because when they hang out with their friends you can hang out with yours. Plus it stops them from obsessing over you more then they would if they didn't have friends. If that has made sense.
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