Eagle55 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 My story is on a previous thread. However, I didn't have a bad split with my ex and we dated 2 years. I was the dumpee and after initially trying to fix things I went NC for 5 weeks. I contacted her for the first time last week. We talked on the phone briefly and had a good catch-up conversation...went well. I texted her today (roughly 5 days since last contact). I simply asked "Hey_______!, how was your day?" I haven't got anything back but I know she has been on her phone since because she has updated her FB status from there since. Suggestions of why or what is going through her head. Her facebook status was put up pretty quickly after with song lyrics stating basically "i want a man who stands beside me and holds me etc." I don't know if these are related?
JasonRules Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 My story is on a previous thread. However, I didn't have a bad split with my ex and we dated 2 years. I was the dumpee and after initially trying to fix things I went NC for 5 weeks. I contacted her for the first time last week. We talked on the phone briefly and had a good catch-up conversation...went well. I texted her today (roughly 5 days since last contact). I simply asked "Hey_______!, how was your day?" I haven't got anything back but I know she has been on her phone since because she has updated her FB status from there since. Suggestions of why or what is going through her head. Her facebook status was put up pretty quickly after with song lyrics stating basically "i want a man who stands beside me and holds me etc." I don't know if these are related? Not sure what you want us to say? She dumped you. You went MIA for 5 weeks and then YOU contact her (bad move), so she talks with you for a while and now you're wondering why she hasn't replied to your text? I'll tell you why. 1. She dumped you 2. She isn't interested in you anymore 3. She's probably seeing someone else or dumped you for someone else 4. None of her FB status updates have anything to do with you My advice? Unfriend her from FB, pick yourself together, hit the gym, and when you feel good about yourself start dating again. No woman respects a man who is chasing after her, when she was the one who pulled the trigger. I did all the begging/pleading for a while, but at some point I cut the cord and deleted her number from my phone and never contacted her again. Of course this didn't stop her from contacting me a year later out of the blue. Since then she's contacted me another 2 times for trivial reasons. I was smart enough to not take the bait... You should move on... 1
Author Eagle55 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 Not sure what you want us to say? She dumped you. You went MIA for 5 weeks and then YOU contact her (bad move), so she talks with you for a while and now you're wondering why she hasn't replied to your text? I'll tell you why. 1. She dumped you 2. She isn't interested in you anymore 3. She's probably seeing someone else or dumped you for someone else 4. None of her FB status updates have anything to do with you My advice? Unfriend her from FB, pick yourself together, hit the gym, and when you feel good about yourself start dating again. No woman respects a man who is chasing after her, when she was the one who pulled the trigger. I did all the begging/pleading for a while, but at some point I cut the cord and deleted her number from my phone and never contacted her again. Of course this didn't stop her from contacting me a year later out of the blue. Since then she's contacted me another 2 times for trivial reasons. I was smart enough to not take the bait... You should move on... In all fairness...this isn't exactly what I was talking about. I actually have been doing all of those things. I have been out meeting new people. Feel great and I came to realize I still want her. The NC was for me to accept the break up and give her some space. In the mean time I was able to do some soul searching and feel comfortable with me again. I am not saying she has feelings...just curious of what might be going through her head if she sees the text or whatever. Like I mentioned...contact was open and she answered and talked back. I don't see why she wouldn't text back now...regardless of is she has feelings or not.
JasonRules Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 In all fairness...this isn't exactly what I was talking about. I actually have been doing all of those things. I have been out meeting new people. Feel great and I came to realize I still want her. The NC was for me to accept the break up and give her some space. In the mean time I was able to do some soul searching and feel comfortable with me again. I am not saying she has feelings...just curious of what might be going through her head if she sees the text or whatever. Like I mentioned...contact was open and she answered and talked back. I don't see why she wouldn't text back now...regardless of is she has feelings or not. Well things are pretty simple in life. A woman who is interested in you and wants to be with you will contact you back, if not withing 5 minutes at the very latest within 5-10 hours. A woman who isn't interested in you will not contact you back because they don't feel like it. There is no mystery or hidden agendas. Remember; actions speak louder than words and if her action was to not contact you, then you have your answer.
january2011 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Lack of mindreading prowess aside, I think that the simplest explanation is that it was not a priority to respond to you. It suggests that you are no longer in her immediate circle of people she prioritises in her life. Harsh though it may be, I think that it's important for your healing to accept this new state of affairs rather than question it.
JasonRules Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Lack of mindreading prowess aside, I think that the simplest explanation is that it was not a priority to respond to you. It suggests that you are no longer in her immediate circle of people she prioritises in her life. Harsh though it may be, I think that it's important for your healing to accept this new state of affairs rather than question it. Or she doesn't want you to get your hopes up. Regardless of the reason though, the result is the same.
Author Eagle55 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 Or she doesn't want you to get your hopes up. Regardless of the reason though, the result is the same. Points taken.
JasonRules Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Points taken. As a guy I will tell you this; 5 weeks is very little time for a woman to miss you. It takes many months or sometimes years for her to realize her "mistake", if indeed you were good to her. If all you've ever experienced is "light", then you would never appreciate it unless you have experienced "darkness". Just let her be and live your life. If it's meant to be, you will hear back from her again as I did from all my exes.
Author Eagle55 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 As a guy I will tell you this; 5 weeks is very little time for a woman to miss you. It takes many months or sometimes years for her to realize her "mistake", if indeed you were good to her. If all you've ever experienced is "light", then you would never appreciate it unless you have experienced "darkness". Just let her be and live your life. If it's meant to be, you will hear back from her again as I did from all my exes. I agree. I don't think she has ever had her heart broken and it's definetly humbling when it happens. I actually asked a friend (me and her have several mutual friends) on what she was up to b/c I know he was trustworthy. He said she had actually went on a date and looked like she moved on. I take everything like that with a grain of salt but it still shocks me. I never wish anything bad on her, but maybe she will see she had a good person in her life or she may find someone and be happier than ever. I honestly have found myself again and even though I miss and want her...I know I will be fine. Maybe she will come around, maybe she won't.
It's Just Me Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Or she doesn't want you to get your hopes up. Regardless of the reason though, the result is the same. I concur with this. I have done it many times with ex-BFs who have tried to maintain contact after the split. It's just not fair to keep responding when I don't have any intention of getting back together. Sorry, Eagle. But it's the truth.
Author Eagle55 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 I concur with this. I have done it many times with ex-BFs who have tried to maintain contact after the split. It's just not fair to keep responding when I don't have any intention of getting back together. Sorry, Eagle. But it's the truth. That is a fair statement. I think her mind set will be the same until she is around me and she's the changes. However, she has to be willing and it seems I can't even get to that point. I don't really know what to do from here.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 That is a fair statement. I think her mind set will be the same until she is around me and she's the changes. However, she has to be willing and it seems I can't even get to that point. I don't really know what to do from here. Nothing - at least nothing in relation to her. Continuing to pursue when they aren't corresponding is like swimming in quicksand, the more you try to stay afloat, the more you'll sink. Sucks but it's out of your hands right now.
BDranger Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I'm in a similar boat as you my friend. Me and my ex had a 6-month no contact period and she asked how I was doin and we had some conversation back and forth. Her last response (just about a week ago) was to say she was doing much better and asked about me. I did respond and got nothing back. Personally, don't read into anything and just play it by ear. While they do not know what is going on in your life, you also do not know what is going on in theirs. As some posters have said, if she wants to contact you she will. She may never gotten your msg anyway. Just stay positive and find more tail while she is off doing whatever
fetish1980 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I agree that you should just move on and let nature take its course. When and if she wants to contact you, she will. Of course, she might try to disguise it with a trivial reason just as an excuse to contact you. Nothing to count on. It's funny how things happen once we stop caring about them. Getting to this point should be your goal, not worrying about why the ex stopped texting. Best of luck!
Author Eagle55 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 I agree that you should just move on and let nature take its course. When and if she wants to contact you, she will. Of course, she might try to disguise it with a trivial reason just as an excuse to contact you. Nothing to count on. It's funny how things happen once we stop caring about them. Getting to this point should be your goal, not worrying about why the ex stopped texting. Best of luck! Not saying I am a reformed man or anything like that. But during the time we have been separated I have really done a lot of soul searching, finding what makes me happy and realizing all the problems in the relationship. Do I think me and her could jump back into a relationship if she was willing...of course not. However, I know we could of tested the waters and trust could of been gained back. It sucks because she can't even allow herself to see the progress b/c of the reasons out of my control. Yea, that sucks and isn't what I wanted but it is how it is. So of course I have to move on like she ISN'T coming back (which it looks that way) and try not to worry about it. I just haven't been able to deal with the fact of seeing her with someone else.
Recommended Posts