Hp1991 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Okay . I just feel like im in a situation where I really need to look at my relationship from an outside perspective and I can't seem to do that by myself. I'm in a 2 year relationship with a 29 y/0 male and I'm turning 21. Yes I know .. oh the horror as some might think. BUT at this point I'm happy with him but I'm not sure if I've been bending baackwards too much for him. Well to begin with I had alot of baggage to start with. I'm a VERY social person who loves to talk and keep up with my friends. I kept most of my wounds hidden so no one really knew they were there and for some odd reason I chose him to be the first person to know about them. So for one he accepted them and told me it would never happen again. That would be brownie point #1. He is to say ...not the biggest talker. He rarely socializes and keeps to himself most of the time. I had many friends who would called ,text, and come see me. Since I started dating him..(2 years now) ..I have literally seen no other guy but him. I have rarely called any of my guy friends, haven't seen them at all. I am not a untrustworthy person..I have made it clear that I cared for my bf only and he knows that. But he has issues with anything to do with "male" friends.. so to make him feel better I stopped even going out to see my male friends. Also these are my close friends...none of them are interested in me . He's come to the point that if we were to progress he doesnt want me to see/talk so closely with guys. Rule # 1 - and I've followed through abandoning my friends. So we have had ups and downs..mostly I created them. Not selfishly .He had a friend that was interested in me before I met my bf. I also was hanging out with this friend quite closely and in the end ...things did not go well and I stopped. I met my bf a few months after and this "friend" was actually his bestfriend/close friend. So my bf has issues with me hanging out with this guy even though my bf is the one that had said that i would have to see his friend no matter what in the future. I decided to make amends and be friendly...his friend was not accepting . He made advances, etc and I found him to be a pig . Anyways I changed my number and this friend asked my bf for it and guess what... he gave it. So whose fault would it be? After I told him not to.. and when that friend calls me my bf goes stark mad. He'll ask has he called before? Why is he calling...well geee I guess its because you gave him my number!?!. I stopped picking up any of his friends calls for the past few months and recently we had a conversation where he accused me of being capable of talking to that friend and hiding it from him. I was shocked. If anything I am the most honest person he has met. I never lie. Accusation #1 So since I'm much younger I think I made a stupid move and chased him for the past 2 years. He knows that I would never leave him . He knows that I would work it out no matter what. So he's been using that to his advantage to hurt me. Whenever we get into a fight I have never heard the words "okay lets work this out" I have heard "okay maybe we should be friends, maybe we rushed this, its not supposed to be, etc" All the "BREAK UP LINES" . I would sit there and cry and beg and plead to work things out . Honestly IT WAS PATHETIC. I was pathetic. And I still do it knowing he will say no and hang up the phone and I would cry the night away. He wont pick up my calls nor text back. The next few days he would let it burn by not calling or texting and then he would call and say "you know I think if you can promise to never do this again then we can work it out. I can't be with someone like that and thats it." I stupidly sayy "yes yes . Okay never again" and the fight ends . BUT he knows within those few days I would never turn my back away from this relationship and find someone else or even break up with him myself. It was some sick form of control? He is a wierd guy . Honestly . He says he can't be jealous of me and why would he be jealous but then when I look at a guy WHO I KNOW walking down the street . He will comment why do you have to stare like you've never seen another guy before. It every single time. I can't look at other guys...he would comment no matter what. But I sit there while he stares at other girls walking down the street and I have never said anything. He has double standards and this is the last fight we've had recently. As i wrote before I dont see my guy friends at all ..and going to the movies? That would be the taboo and break up would come right after. So I found out he was at the movies with some girl. I called twice , he never answered. Until about 10pm ..so that was quite some time at the movies.. and he simply says oh i went with a friend of mine and I never asked who. I called back because although I already knew I wanted to hear it from him. He was flustered and lied how it was a guy friend. Okay . I know for some you might be thinking wow pyscho girlfriend wont let him go to the movies with a girl . No .. that is not how it is. I was honest, and gave him full trust. I never once questioned where he was who he was with. I didn't believe i needed to and that is not the type of person I am . He one the other hand would call ,text, where are you who are you with . when are you going home? what are you doing? ..If i mentioned a friend he would ask is it a guy ??? I was already cracking like an egg. He went to the movies which coming from his mouth was TABOO . LIED TO ME. AND TRIED TO FOOL ME? I really don't get angry. but when you do something like that to me? Who had done nothing but be honest and you simply couldnt say it was a girl ...I didnt care he went to the movies. I cared because he lied so easily. It made me wonder these 2 years...who knows what else he's lied about ...my god I let him go without interrogating him like he did to me. Long and crazy story short I forgave him . I can't stay mad for long anyways. PS I broke up with him and he pleaded with me to reconsider.. the first time thats ever happend since I met him . SO in the end I started thinking wow have I just been recreated as a person. If I was hearing this from my friend I would tell her shes crazy to want to stay with this guy who doesnt want her to talk to half of the population. (Which my close 2 friends have been saying for quite some time) I just haven't heard it loud enough to make a change to this relationship. I changed so much that I can't even believe that this is me. I let him run me? I think about being a good girlfriend and the most I get from him was his ****ty give me a week to think about it/us ( which almost never gave me any answer). Sorry ..I needed to vent and my thoughts were running wild in this post. Anyways if you can make out anything form this let me know what you think of my caged relationship.
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