Coffee20 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I thought I was, but I constantly compare my ex to the new ones I talk to online. I should go for a date on Thursday but I am not sure I want to go anymore. That man wants to go to the ZOO and then to the restaurant with me. And my head is full of questions like: what if he lets me pay for both of us (like my ex did many times), what if he talks only about himself and tells me lies. I found out that I am scared, which is almost weird, because I went for many dates before and didn't experience this kind of nervousness. I was nervous but not this way. And I wanted to leave LoveShack for a while but I can't .
jgregory4614 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I know what you mean...you cant tell if someone is bull*****ing you when first meet them. Not only that, it seems everyone you get to know isnt normal enough. The only advice i can give you is take your time with the dating scene. If you dont feel comfortable just take a step back and to think about what is really causing you to be so nervous.
stemac Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Coffee leave the dating your not ready Give your self time to heal their nothing Wrong in being single take your time
ihateslowjams Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I thought I was, but I constantly compare my ex to the new ones I talk to online. I should go for a date on Thursday but I am not sure I want to go anymore. That man wants to go to the ZOO and then to the restaurant with me. And my head is full of questions like: what if he lets me pay for both of us (like my ex did many times), what if he talks only about himself and tells me lies. I found out that I am scared, which is almost weird, because I went for many dates before and didn't experience this kind of nervousness. I was nervous but not this way. And I wanted to leave LoveShack for a while but I can't . If he makes you pay for anything, say you left the stove on at home and gotta rush back home. =D 1
kindest Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I am scared $h1tless of dating again. My last two breakups were both pretty much traumatic for me. I don't even know if I can ever get into a commitment again. This last one really f#cked me up. Until now I am having trouble looking for the 'lesson' I should have learned from this last breakup.
SuperGeek Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) i hear you, I'm in the same boat. Emotionally damaged from the last one and it's been 2 years. My main issue is i can't get myself to trust again and i have a feeling of numbness. Probably need therapy.. Edited August 29, 2012 by SuperGeek
Author Coffee20 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 thanks for input hm I am definitely not ready even writing and chatting with them is disturbing and annoying for me :/ like I want to be completely alone
mistermr Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I'm not ready for dating yet but I have set-up a profile on a dating website. I've been texting a few women casually, no pressure from either side and it has been fun. I'm becoming especially friendly with one of them. It will be fun to see where it goes, if anywhere.
Author Coffee20 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 I'm not ready for dating yet but I have set-up a profile on a dating website. I've been texting a few women casually, no pressure from either side and it has been fun. I'm becoming especially friendly with one of them. It will be fun to see where it goes, if anywhere. how long are you after BU?
mistermr Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 It's only been this past week and we've been BU nearly 2 months from a 4.5 year relationship. I've finally dragged myself out of the dark tunnel of no hope. I'm still quite unhappy and sad and think about her everyday lol but i can now go for an hour or two without thinking about her somtimes, which is a relief from spending every excruciating minute of everyday analysing everything about our BU lol. Give it a try. It removes a lot of the bad habits of checking your phone for you ex and replaces them with checking your phone for your new friend
Author Coffee20 Posted September 5, 2012 Author Posted September 5, 2012 so I went for a date and gave it a try it wasn't bad at all, the man was older than me, we were talking and he is interested in second meeting, I felt neutral and not anxious and he paid and invited me, this date was so different than with my ex, he respected me and treated me well
Jingle14 Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 i hear you, I'm in the same boat. Emotionally damaged from the last one and it's been 2 years. My main issue is i can't get myself to trust again and i have a feeling of numbness. Probably need therapy.. I saw a few other people immediately after I found out 'he' was seeing someone else, as I just couldn't bear it otherwise. It was completely hideous, all wrong and it wouldnt have mattered how lovely these people were, they weren't 'him'. Now I have cut myself off from the idea of being with anyone else again as I feel exactly as you have described and it is 15 months since I was dumped and a year this month since we were intimate. I have barely seen him, or had contact with him, since (still unbearable even though I - have convinced my self - hate him). Incidentally, the one thing which really hurt me was when I asked if he had thought of me at all when he kissed this other woman (days after he had slept with me for the last time) and he said that no, he hadn't. He was all I could think of when I forced myself to be in someone else's arms but that's how little I mean to him. I'll never forget that, ever.
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