disconcertainly Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 Me and my boyfriend are broken-up. Its hurts alot but I am doing ok. I saw him yesterday when I had to get the rest of my things from his apt. Anyway we talked for a long time and I am still totally in love with him. Well one thing lead to another and well anyway...we decided that we would give it a week of no contact to think about things. Can some one tell me exactly what that means. I love him so much. But honestly I am just so confused. If we get back together I know that I dont want things to be the same as they were...but then again do I realy want him back...I am really hurting...and do I want to ever get hurt like this again... Can someone help shed some light on this for me? I mean has any realationship ever worked out after a no contact break?
Raz Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 Check it out ... no contact means exactly what it says, no contact. Where is the love in that? Ohh, I love ya and everything, but I need to think about things, so don't talk to me for a week, I'll call you, you don't call me. When love is involved it's not about one or the other, it's about both people. Meaning when there is stuff that needs to be talked over or said, it needs to be talked about and said. It's not a business where you are waiting for an RSVP. The way I have always seen it is that a break of contact because you gotta think things over is a break in relationships. Sometimes it might be good for a day or two to go do what you really want to do without the other being there, because granted some do need their alone time. But, if you want to be alone, then why are you in a relationship? If you have to think about that question, then maybe its just not meant to be.
dreamguy Posted July 19, 2004 Posted July 19, 2004 disconcertainly, Your boyfriend didn't just say I want some time alone. He specified a limit which was 1 week. I'm not saying that what he did was right and I certainly am not trying to justify his actions. I'm just telling you that sometimes people (being human and thus subjected to weakness and doubts) feel they need to back off a little bit from things to have a clear perspective of things and to make sure this is what they really want. The best thing you can do right now is to give him the space he asked for. Do not contact him in any way for 1 week. Some people will tell you that giving him space will show him you respect him. Forget that crap, I'm only asking you to give him the space so he understands that you don't need him although you want him ! Believe me if you contact him when he has specifically asked you not to then will only drive him away. Go out, keep yourself busy and when that week has passed then join that forum again and update us on your situation before you contact him.
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