me

[Pukka0_1]

i am a 42 year old male with 3 lovely children who has been married for 16 years this august.My wife has always enjoyed a drink but it has destroyed our family life.

 

She has always drunk possibly 3 to 5 times a week but when she was pregnant with the kids she would stop but gradually she would start again and when she was pregnant she would stop during the pregnancy then gradually start again 2 to 3 times a week then nearly every night. we had our son 6 years ago the same cycle stop then gradually start again.

 

The problem drinking really started about 2 years ago , she would drink after the kids went bed to unwind , i would go to bed at 10ish as i had to get up for work ,sleep until 3 am ish only to find her asleep downstairs ,this was a regular thing , most nights ,she was always on her mobile phone on facebook or texting ,one night woke up in the early hours to find her drunk passed out ,looking on her mobile discovered she had been sending sexy messages to some ex school friend on fb ,i went mad and she promised that it was a one off and would never do it again well that lasted a couple of weekes until i looked on her phone to see that she had been up to her old tricks sending sexy messages to another male well this carried on time after time for about 6 months until one morning looking at her phone i discovered she had been sending sexy pics of herself ,top and bottom pics if you know what i mean.going potty i threw her phone into some water to distroy it , after alot of apologies it all settled down again. i was very paranoid every time i saw her on her new phone i would think the worst .

 

she was still drinking and not going to bed until the early hours , one saturday morning ,march this year to be exact i discovered a message on her phone from a guy who she had been sending messages to before but this message was asking her to meet in a room in a local hotel ,he text had the room number and what he wanted to do to her when she arrived ,i went loopy left our house and went to the hotel,found the room and banged the door to my shock the guy answered after a few cross words i hit him and fled with his wallet hoping he would follow me but instead i got arrested and let off with a caution.

 

she later that day told me that she had let this guy have £1000 from our savings and was planning to meet him to try and get the money back which i couldnt belive .

 

since march the drinking has carried on getting worse and worse to the point she would sleep in her clothes most nights, she worked in our local school as a dinner lady well she wasnt getting to work not picking the kids from school until the soclal services got involved ,we had planned to go camping one friday , the day after my middle ones 10 th birthday , my daugther wanted a little party at the local bowling alley i was at work and had planned to meet her there when i got there she was pissed drinking vodka from a carrier bag , i told her this was unacceptable to do while she was in charge of other peoples kids ,she went loopy and vanished all night ,the following day she had a meeting with a doctor regarding her drinking but she never arrived but she advised me that if i was planning on going camping i should still take the kids to get them out of the situation , she appeared on the friday afternoon very drunk so i took the kids with the friends camping for three nights, when i returned i discovered that on the thursday night when she went missing she met these two guys at our local witherspoons pub and while we were away these guys spent most of the weekend in our family house drinking and smoking ,also these two helped them self to item around our home including my eldest daugther iphone ,her camera , dsi and a iphone 4 i purchased from ebay which was delivered while we were away and i have never seen along with various other items.

 

the drinking was getting very bad until one thursday my eldest dauther rang the police as she was fed up with the fact that she had let men into our home to help them selves to our bellongings ,The police arrived to find her drunk in charge of the kids, they were taken into care ,while she carried on with her drinking very heavy by now , the friday i stayed off work because of the situation she carried on drinking and getting more and more aggressive , i took all her axcess to money away from her which really made her mad , i went and visited the kids in care and slept in the car because i didnt want to face her but came home at about 5am on the sunday morning to find her passed out downstairs in our home . i went to bed to find her at about 8 am attacking me asking me for money when i said no she started smashing items in the house up , i rang thev police as i didnt know what else to do and she was duely arrested ,since then she stayed at a friends house but only lasted for two days because of the drinking and is now at her mothers home as the social services said she cant live in the family home for 1 month , she can see the kids but only if she is sober which she is not very happy about.

 

since this has happened i have not been to work as i have 100% care of the children and because of the school holidays ,two friends have come forward telling me that my wife had confessed to sleeping with numerous men over the past couple of years ,leaving the house while i was asleep in bed to meet men,meeting men when i have been at work and the kids at school.

 

ive confronted her with this and she says that it is a load of b***sh** and that these friends are only jealous of her and trying to break us up which im not convinced of .

 

what do i do, at the end of the day my kids come first 100% but how do you ever get the trust back after all this ...

Please i need help......................

Edited August 28, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Greznog]

This is almost unreadable but I managed nonetheless. You should leave your wife, she's quite clearly an alcoholic and has most likely cheated on you multiple times.

 

Sadly family court will award her custody by virtue of her ovaries but there's little you can about that.

[worldgonewrong]

Good grief, what a nightmare! I'm so sorry.

 

Courts might look more favorably on you as the sole custodian for kids since she is clearly leaving a record of mental instability in her wake.

[pteromom]

I don't think it really matters if what your friends told you is true or not.

 

What you already know is enough to end the marriage.

 

Your wife needs serious help - more than you can give her.

 

You should file for divorce, go for full custody, and do anything and everything within your power to keep the children from her unless and until she can stay sober.