weallfalldown Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I'm starting to think, despite my endeavours with online dating....and other's experiences, it aint such a good thing. my mind is changing..... My last two longterm relationships haven't worked out, and both of these were from OLD. It maybe a truth that the majority have issues, so many bull****ters, and time wasters.
AlexCross Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I'm starting to think, despite my endeavours with online dating....and other's experiences, it aint such a good thing. my mind is changing..... My last two longterm relationships haven't worked out, and both of these were from OLD. It maybe a truth that the majority have issues, so many bull****ters, and time wasters. I think its a waste of time, but then again you can meet the same type of people in real life, except they are not hiding behind a computer.
Author weallfalldown Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 i met a woman last week....looked really nice in her profile. met up with her and she was at least 5 years older than her pic, she said she was thin, and was above average to say the least etc etc.....i mean, what a bull****ter, what a waste of my time, and hers. What's the point in lying?......
AlexCross Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 i met a woman last week....looked really nice in her profile. met up with her and she was at least 5 years older than her pic, she said she was thin, and was above average to say the least etc etc.....i mean, what a bull****ter, what a waste of my time, and hers. What's the point in lying?...... That happens quite often in online dating. People posting pictures from their glory days. Big pet peeve of mine. Who knows what people were thinking.
KatZee Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I tried OLD for a hot second. Met one person from it and he was so surprised that I actually looked like what my profile picture did. I was like... why are you so surprised? I didn't know people pull this con game. I really don't get the point. I mean you're GOING to meet them. How are you going to explain the drastically different height/weight? Or the wrinkles or gray hair? After meeting that one person I realized that OLD wasn't for me. It's too much stress and anxiety lol.
thatone Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 actually a lot of people never meet anyone, they're just looking for an attention fix so they create a fake persona that only exists on a dating site for trading emails and texts. and there's no way to filter these people out so that's a big reason why OLD is a waste of time right there.
MrCastle Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 There is a small (very small) percentage of normal, quality people on there whose personal/professional life doesn't allow them to meet many people, so they go on there hoping to improve their success. Or people who have no luck finding people within their social circles. Aside from those people, which again, is a small margin; it is a complete crapshoot. Many people on there, both men and women, are severely lacking in one or several areas of life. Maybe it doesn't show up until (if) you meet them, but in my experience, every single woman I've encountered online, there's always been that "Aha" moment where you realize why they're using online dating. A glaring flaw rears its ugly head and you say to yourself "Ohhh I get it now. That's why they're online." 3
rocketman122 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Ive been on way too many dates already. after talking with them on the phone and they pass my filters, I setup a date as fast as possible because people feel comfortable behind the monitor and phone. you see people's true colors when you sit in front of them and can read their body language. I had woman when we met that they were older than the age on their profile. in fact 50%. the last one wrote 43 and she was 49. I dont think much of it because I only date woman 45+ so it was fine with me..except the lying part. because thats deceiving. many of them do not look like their photos. a few did. some looked better. some have pics up of themselves looking nice and slender with long hair and here face to face comes this chunky thing with short hair..and a different color as well. very frustrating and disappointing because you build up this image in your mind of what they will look like. most told me I look like my pics, some told me better, and one told me "more or less" but none said "not at all" but all wanted a 2nd date, except the very first one. I hadnt dated anyone for 2 years, and I was so nervous I was sweating bullets. On the whole OLD is fine but it will take some time till you learn the ropes and can see the BS'ers and the ones truly looking for something serious.
Author weallfalldown Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 yea a lot of hard work, time energy, and money........can't be arsed anymore.
thatone Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 problem is when you filter out the chaff, you find the wheat encompasses about a half dozen people in most non large cities. so you have to ask yourself if it is an efficient use of your time to spend multiple hours a week searching through a dating site when you can walk down to any local bar and determine in a 5 second glance whether it's a worthwhile place to meet the opposite sex or not.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I've been dating a wonderful guy I met from online dating for 2 1/2 months, and we just became official. He's only the 2nd person I met from OLD, and we had an instant connection. We both commented that the other's pictures didn't do them justice and profiles only showed a tiny tip of the iceberg that was a very cool person Both of us are brainy, shy introverts who do not enjoy the bar scene and prefer to do quiet things at home than loud things out. We both meet people to date in real life, but wanted to try OLD as one more avenue. This was a no-pressure, effective way for us to meet. One of my best friends who has no problem meeting guys met the guy she's now engaged to on OLD. So you can definitely get lucky 2
KathyM Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 It's a good way to meet people, but you have to wade through a lot of frogs before finding someone good on there. A lot of people do lie about themselves, a lot of people have major character issues, some are cheating on their SO. You get all types. But there are some quality people. My sister found her husband from OLD. A quality guy--attractive, intelligent, really nice with a good job and good character. A friend of mine found his wife on there--honest, caring, wonderful woman with great character. At least three other people who I know well have met their SO through OLD, and they were a great catch. So it does work for some, but you have to wade through some fakes, some losers, some people of questionable character before you find someone worth keeping.
truth_seeker Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I will never do OLD again. I just can't. Bad experiences from start to finish. Every girl that sounded great in their profile ended up being either a liar, a lunatic or a two-faced loser in person. Just like Castle said: "there's always been that "Aha" moment where you realize why they're using online dating." I'm sure there are good people who use OLD but there are just too many bad apples that makes you jaded from ever taking it seriously. 1
oaks Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 so you have to ask yourself if it is an efficient use of your time to spend multiple hours a week searching through a dating site when you can walk down to any local bar and determine in a 5 second glance whether it's a worthwhile place to meet the opposite sex or not. I definitely agree with this part. I think that OLD is okay, but most people shouldn't rely on it as their only way to (try to) get dates, for reasons including the quoted bit above.
AlexCross Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 OP thats why I grew a pair of testies and started going to singles events alone, meetup.com. Meet new people face to face who are in the same boat as you. I am coming out of my shell, little by little.
Author weallfalldown Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 your a decent looking chap like myself, i don't see why your in a shell? haha.......i find it hard as i'm a single dad, which makes life harder....
AlexCross Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 your a decent looking chap like myself, i don't see why your in a shell? haha.......i find it hard as i'm a single dad, which makes life harder.... Yeah well lifes not full of sunshine and rainbows, we all have our hang ups, mine being rejection. So OLD was easier for me, until I figured out that half the women on there belong in a mental institution. Single dad is nothing. It adds to your character.
Author weallfalldown Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 true....we all have are flaws.
youngnlove89 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 weallfalldown...I see why you are being a barbaric butt now, Listen, stop looking for love. The only reason I'm in a dating site is for a mere ego boost. i'm not looking to meet the one on there. It's just fun when I'm bored and having nothing to do. Why did your last two relationships fail? Did you break up with them?
Author weallfalldown Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 I've had 5.........the last was mutual, the one before i left.......all because my daughter is a handfull...(and other stuff).....weak women syndrome me thinks.
8mia8 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I think OLD is only for certain types of people. If you need to meet someone for a connection and can't feel it any other way, then it's best to meet them as soon as possible. If you only care about what someone looks like, then you better hope they got a good photographer for their picture and update it every so often. I've never met an ugly person that I would refuse to get to know better, only ugly personalities and I do not get a connection from just meeting people; I have to know the person first. It completely baffles me the comments that someone's hair is shorter... seriously, that matters?! I assume you're not looking for anything long term if that matters. Meeting someone for a drink, meal, movie, etc completely bores me and you'll never catch me at a bar. Singles events just reeks of desperation to me. I typically exchange emails with people for a month or two, replying whenever I have time in my schedule, to filter out people who are in my mind time wasters. If we can't have stimulating conversations for a couple months, how will it last long term?
Silly_Girl Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I don't know the location of the posters on this board but many of the issues I see raised just didn't crop up for me, in the UK. Nor any acquaintances I've talked to when we've shared experiences.
paperboy48 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 There is a small (very small) percentage of normal, quality people on there whose personal/professional life doesn't allow them to meet many people, so they go on there hoping to improve their success. Or people who have no luck finding people within their social circles. Aside from those people, which again, is a small margin; it is a complete crapshoot. Many people on there, both men and women, are severely lacking in one or several areas of life. Maybe it doesn't show up until (if) you meet them, but in my experience, every single woman I've encountered online, there's always been that "Aha" moment where you realize why they're using online dating. A glaring flaw rears its ugly head and you say to yourself "Ohhh I get it now. That's why they're online." I'd be okay with this....I have flaws. Sounds like OLD is the way to go for me
paperboy48 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 yea a lot of hard work, time energy, and money........can't be arsed anymore. What's the alternative?
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