weallfalldown Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Would you date someone knowing there was a convicted rapist and murderer in their family.....(close Family)....???...I've got to be carefull here.
CarrieT Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 It would depend entirely on the circumstances. Did anyone in the family know about the offender or the possibility that they he/she might commit such a crime? You can't necessarily hold another accountable and doubt I would judge someone based on a family member. But there is that 10% variable where I wouldn't get involve if there was extensive family history and compliance.
Author weallfalldown Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 Close, as in an ex's father in law..... Only found out all the real details after the split, and what i've read about it, it makes me wanna puke.......i openly had the guy around me countless times, and around my daughter.....i'm not gona say anymore.....just want opinions......cheers carrie.
january2011 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Extremely unlikely. Too much drama. And even the remote possibility of re-offending is a possibility nonetheless.
AlexCross Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Would you date someone knowing there was a convicted rapist and murderer in their family.....(close Family)....???...I've got to be carefull here. I will add that to my baggage and disqualification list. 1
Author weallfalldown Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 Yes alex, but how would you know?......is everyone gonna do a background check on family members?........sometimes you find out later, which is devious to say the least!.
Later82012 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Stay away. If he is going to be around you and your family you need to stay away from this guy (as in your date).
AlexCross Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Yes alex, but how would you know?......is everyone gonna do a background check on family members?........sometimes you find out later, which is devious to say the least!. Things in life have a funny way of panning out. The internet is a plethora of open information on people. I dated a girl whose brother-in-law stole money off the dresser of my condo when I had a super bowl get together about a year ago. Turns out I thought it was the cleaning lady but he fessed up to it. Turns out he has quite the criminal past. I don't blame her for her the actions of her extended family, but its baggage.
RiverRunning Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Not a scenario of rapist+murderer, but one of my uncles was heavy into drugs and molested two of his kids over the course of years. My parents were in their late 20s to early 30s at the time and claim they didn't know about the molestation. What sickens me is some of the stories my parents have told over the years and the numerous times they failed to do anything about it: my mom saw my ex-aunt putting wine into the kids' bottles, and on one occasion, ex-aunt was in a panic because her toddler had swallowed some of her drugs. Ex-aunt actually considered NOT taking the kid to the emergency room. I would have called the police and told them everything then and there. Instead, my mom agreed to drive the kid to the hospital alone. Meanwhile, ex-aunt was going to clean her place up should an investigation occur. Got to the hospital a while later and claimed that her kid had just picked something up off the ground and swallowed it. I really can't forgive my mom for letting something like THAT go unreported. Another time, they were visiting my uncle when one of my cousins, who was 10 or so at the time, walked out wearing something that looked like lingerie. Uh, THAT didn't start to trigger warning bells? They knew my aunt and uncle were not upstanding parents and that my uncle was, at the very least, abusive toward his wife. My parents recall visiting one time while my aunt was boiling ketchup and water, and my uncle came home with two Burger King meals - for himself. While his family was starving. All of this happened shortly before my birth, but since I found out about the nature of his crimes, I have nothing to do with him. If he happens to be at an event, so be it. But I watch out for any and all kids who happen to be present when he's around. On the other hand, I have a cousin who was 18 and dating a 15-year-old girl. Relationship ended and my cousin ended up serving 1.5 years in prison - she's now also a sex offender. I thought it was ABSURD that she could not see her 5-year-old nephew for more than a year after she got out of prison (she had to fill out forms and get permission). There is a BIG difference between being a pedophile and having a relationship with a peer who's a bit underaged. To answer the question: I WOULD date someone in such a scenario, but they had best not be close and they had best view the person's crimes as terrible!
Author weallfalldown Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 Jeez.................... I'm gona stop thinking about all this, it's doing my nut in. shouldn't have posted this.
VodkaShots Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 On the other hand, I have a cousin who was 18 and dating a 15-year-old girl. Relationship ended and my cousin ended up serving 1.5 years in prison - she's now also a sex offender. I thought it was ABSURD that she could not see her 5-year-old nephew for more than a year after she got out of prison (she had to fill out forms and get permission). There is a BIG difference between being a pedophile and having a relationship with a peer who's a bit underaged. That really sucks, and is rather shocking in a way. I think the authorities really need to use common sense when it comes to things like this. What good have they achieved putting your cousin in prison for 1.5 years and giving her a serious criminal record plus her entry on the sex offenders registry? The maturity level between your average 15 yr old and 18 yr old is not exactly gigantic or anything. OP: I don't believe in guilt by association, so I wouldn't care, to be honest. Unless of course said person was an accomplice to the crime in some way, i.e. helped cover it up, hide the offender or lied in court about it or something.
Author weallfalldown Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 it;s not her fault.......just sickens me....
AlexCross Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 it;s not her fault.......just sickens me.... Some people distance themselves from toxic family members, give her the benefit of the doubt.
Later82012 Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Stay away. If he is going to be around you and your family you need to stay away from this guy (as in your date). I thought it was a girl asking. Stay away. Looks like she is keeping bad company. Why would you want him to be around your kids and family?
Author weallfalldown Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 i had no choice as she was so close to her mother, and he's with her......i'm not with her anymore.........thank ****
yongyong Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 ew......you guys are so judgmental. it's not that person's fault? In the end, it's all about what's inside...aka personality.....right???? ROFL
8mia8 Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 If it's simply having bad family members, there should be no problem. You can't choose your family; you can however choose if you want contact with them or not regardless of how "close" they are. That said, people are often looked down upon when they disassociate themselves from their family so it's a double edged sword.
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