scottyb Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I have a friend (I swear!) who is in a tough spot financially. He has a wife of 3-4 years and two children. One has autism which has put a strain on the wallet unfortunately. He took out an installment loan from Western Sky which was then sold to Cashcall. Outrageous interest rate...close to 100%. He makes a good salary, but the bills are just too much. I think their unsecured debt is close to 45k not counting student loans. His wife knows they're not doing great. My friend however has not been completely honest about the payday loan and a personal loan he has. In the last budget review with the wife, he changed the line item to a credit card instead of payday loan and removed approx. 17k for a personal loan. He claims his wife will leave him if they file bankruptcy or if he ever took out a payday loan or personal loan from family or friends. He loves his wife and children and justifies the budget fudging/omissions (as he likes to call it) to keep the family together. His rationale is he grew up without his father being in his life and doesn't want the kids to go through the same thing. He can survive, albeit barely with the current budget for the next 6 years. If one bad thing happens, the budget is potentially derailed. Also, retirement has been moved to 0 and virtually no savings are currently or will be accumulated. Him being on call limits other side employment and with his skills, it would be tough to find a similar position with the same pay. The budget is pretty slim with minimal room to cut. I think bankruptcy is the best option for the future of his family. In second is not paying the payday loan and hoping to settle and not get sued. Neither is an option to him since he is sure his wife will divorce him based on a previous hypothetical discussion with her. I care about my friend dearly and I'm worried he's headed down the wrong path with the lying and jeopardizing his family's future. I think he just needs to sit down with his wife, come clean, and declare bankruptcy. Although she'll be extremely upset, I feel being honest and hoping to repair the marriage is the best option. What are your thoughts???
Radu Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 What he is doing is called financial infidelity. When she finds out she will most likely be tempted to leave him because he lied to her. http://getoutofdebt.org/
denise_xo Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Yes, if she ever finds out (which is quite likely), his deceit would be more grounds for divorce than a bad loan would be. So yes, I would definitely encourage him to come clean.
Author scottyb Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 Do you feel that his wife is irrational for wanting to leave if he has to file bankruptcy? *Assume that he was honest with all the finance and the debt is all pretty much to support the family
denise_xo Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Do you feel that his wife is irrational for wanting to leave if he has to file bankruptcy? *Assume that he was honest with all the finance and the debt is all pretty much to support the family If he was honest now after the fact? No, I don't think it would be irrational, because it would already constitute a serious betrayal that could make her question whether she can trust him at all. How is she going to know that he doesn't go behind her back again, or whether he is hiding other things from her? But on the other hand, better coming clean now than when the bankruptcy is a fact. If he was honest from the beginning, dealing with the finances, as well as a potential bankruptcy, would be a shared responsibility - so in that case, yes it would be irrational.
Art_Critic Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) Do you feel that his wife is irrational for wanting to leave if he has to file bankruptcy? *Assume that he was honest with all the finance and the debt is all pretty much to support the family Depends on what all the debt is from.. they have a special needs child.. if the debt if from that and family oriented items then of course she would be irrational to file for divorce.. If the debt is from gambling or going out with the guys and buying steak dinners and tools then she wouldn't be so irrational. In other words.. if he has been financially sound himself and the debt is because of living life with her and a special needs child then she would be nuts to want to leave him and if she does then he really might be better off in the long run. Edited August 28, 2012 by Art_Critic
Art_Critic Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 oh.. and he really should come clean with her.. it sounds like the debt is getting kinda high, she is responsible for that debt too.. If she bolts then he needs to be a better salesman and explain to her why he lied to her about the debt... In the end his wife is trusting him and he is blowing that trust by hiding the debt.. If it was a short term debt.. like 60 days then he would probably be okay with just pushing through and getting it paid off and not telling her but it isn't and she needs to know all that has to be paid off so she can also adjust herself accordingly.
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