edwards99 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 can anyone tell me how to assume this no contact..i need to leave her alone..she will n always does text me after a few days..wk whatever..but i keep sending crap...how do i stop..i think its good for us..she tells me she wants a future..swears up n down..i give her oppurtunity left n right to just walk away..but doesnt..just says she needs some time to forgive me for hurting her..n doesnt want any resentment for me so we can have a good start.. for 2 yrs i was moody..silent treatments etc all over crap i made up in my head..leading to many fights..a break up n me promicing to change..she took me back n i screwed it all up again..i believe we will have another shot..but i gotta give her the time she needs. just cant seem to stop sending crap
coltsfan1 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 You have to choose to not respond back. Or you can tell her you need space.
Exit Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) Do not fall for the "I need space to make this work". A relationship is only a relationship when two people are fully engaged in working through their problems and figuring it out. Until that day that she is willing to commit to that, she is single, you are single, and there is no need to be communicating. If she wants her space then tell her that she also needs to respect yours, and that you are only interested in a full commitment to making this work. This mind game is so common and unfortunately it works so well, when the dumper can convince you that YOU are the bad guy if you aren't willing to be strung along, accept their crumbs of attention, keeping "talking" about getting back together without really doing it, etc. The second you say "we don't need to be talking like this right now. You know where to find me if you are ever willing to commit to this, but I won't be waiting forever", at light speed they will start accusing you that you are the one unwilling to work through it or have enough patience to make it work. It's all garbage. A relationship either is or it isn't. This undecided move she is pulling is so she can keep you strung along, consider her options, date other people, etc. Also, try not to let yourself think like such a victim. You are in control of this. If she breaks NC sometimes, you can't just say "aww shucks she always breaks NC even if I'm doing a really good job at it, and then I just have to talk to her". You can a) have the willpower to not answer if she breaks NC, or if you don't have that willpower then b) is block her or c) is change your number. Email, phones, everything these days has privacy controls. If you really want the contact to stop, you can stop it. I can almost promise you that at the rate you are going, even if you guys got back together, this would turn into the kind of reconciliation that only leads to another breakup and more pain and some point down the line. This is not being handled in the proper manner. You might succeed at getting back together, but it will be a mess. Definitely try to go full NC. Do not be strung along by someone who is not willing to say right here, right now, that they want to make this work with you. Edited August 28, 2012 by Exit
RachaelSwerk Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I can so relate to what you are going thru! My ex and I were on again and off again and on again and off again. In the end, you just have to realize that staying away from the relationship is what will be best for you, and then do just that!
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