henderson14 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Well when it rains it pours. I've met more quality women in the past month than I have the last 4 years. Its surreal. I recently just went on my 3rd date with a girl and we slept together and she seems very into me. But I've just met another girl in-particular that I think I would like better and that I am thinking of asking out. I do like the other girl but were not officially exclusive yet. I wish I was in closer stages of dating with both girls so I could make a better judgement. There is even a third girl that I think I would like more that I am considering asking out. I've been single for so long and had so much trouble finding someone I've liked that I would be crazy not to try to date all these girls. 1
fishtaco Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 If you are not exclusive, you can do whatever you want, so can the women. If you don't want a particular woman to be dating/kissing/having sex with someone other than you, then ask for her exclusivity, but you have to give up multidating yourself. Exclusivity works both ways. My theory is this. If you are such hot stuff that you have a constant stream of women, then you do not need to multidate. You can do a series of single dating until you find the one. If a woman behaves badly, drops you, pulls the vanishing act, or a myriad of other common dating happenings, you just shrug because by Friday, you will have the next date lined up. But most of us average guys, it's always rainy vs dry season. So we have to take advantage when it's raining. So multidate away. I recommend multidating for both men and women. I'm not afraid of competition. I want the woman to ultimately choose me because she wants to be with me more than the other men, and not because she is bound by some principles that artificially limits her options. But there are a couple of outspoken LS posters that will tell you you are the scum of the earth because you multidate. Oh well. This is afterall, the internet. 3
Tiera D Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 well i multidate when im single,i see nothing wrong in that but once you get exclusive i suggest keep your sex lust in check TD
The Way I Am Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) My opinion is that once you start having sex with a person, it's common decency to tell them if you're also having sex with other people. That way the agreement is mutual and understood. This approach greatly decreases the chances of any person getting hurt. The approach of only ensuring you're on the same page once you've decided you no longer want to have sex with other people often leads to more drama and more people getting hurt. The honest approach also decreases the chances that people will keep sleeping with you if they're not interested in multidating, which is probably why some people prefer the "assume non-exclusivity" approach. And why that approach is deceptive. Date as many people at the same time as you'd like, but tell them up front so that they don't think you're exclusive with them. Edited August 28, 2012 by The Way I Am 4
Emilia Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 Well when it rains it pours. I've met more quality women in the past month than I have the last 4 years. Its surreal. I recently just went on my 3rd date with a girl and we slept together and she seems very into me. But I've just met another girl in-particular that I think I would like better and that I am thinking of asking out. I do like the other girl but were not officially exclusive yet. I wish I was in closer stages of dating with both girls so I could make a better judgement. There is even a third girl that I think I would like more that I am considering asking out. I've been single for so long and had so much trouble finding someone I've liked that I would be crazy not to try to date all these girls. If they are quality you will lose them all as no quality person will put up with divided attention and loose sexuality when it comes to a potential mate. 1
todreaminblue Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 If you are not exclusive, you can do whatever you want, so can the women. If you don't want a particular woman to be dating/kissing/having sex with someone other than you, then ask for her exclusivity, but you have to give up multidating yourself. Exclusivity works both ways. My theory is this. If you are such hot stuff that you have a constant stream of women, then you do not need to multidate. You can do a series of single dating until you find the one. If a woman behaves badly, drops you, pulls the vanishing act, or a myriad of other common dating happenings, you just shrug because by Friday, you will have the next date lined up. But most of us average guys, it's always rainy vs dry season. So we have to take advantage when it's raining. So multidate away. I recommend multidating for both men and women. I'm not afraid of competition. I want the woman to ultimately choose me because she wants to be with me more than the other men, and not because she is bound by some principles that artificially limits her options. But there are a couple of outspoken LS posters that will tell you you are the scum of the earth because you multidate. Oh well. This is afterall, the internet. "I want the woman to ultimately choose me because she wants to be with me more than the other men, and not because she is bound by some principles that artificially limits her options." I had not thought of it this way do you mean sex involved in this multi dating scenario.....or just the up to heavy petting and tongue down the throat? wouldnt that make you feel hesitant about going in for that first romantic kiss......if you knew that tongue had been down some other guys recently and i mean multi throats or some guys and again multi hands had been all over her skin where you wanted to put your hands.....? i am curious and mean no disrespect ......i would like to hear your reply......deb
RedRobin Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 (edited) If they are quality you will lose them all as no quality person will put up with divided attention and loose sexuality when it comes to a potential mate. Posted for emphasis. I'm a woman and it is well known here on LS that I dump a man immediately for multi-dating... especially if he is trying to get sexually intimate with me without volunteering his dating style and the fact he is seeing other women. If he does volunteer that, and I like him... I may agree to be friends with him if I enjoy his company... but I would never agree to become romantically involved with a multi-dater. In fact, it is the very first thing I screen against... ... however, for other readers... I don't have a habit of dating strangers... I realize there is an 'interview' process that goes on... Even so. If I find out later the guy was having sex with someone else while dating me, he's not a candidate for a LTR with me. I don't care about competition either. There will always be competition at any stage of a relationship. The only thing I care about is screening out people who are dishonest, have a 'me first' mentality when it comes to their choices, and who can't control their sexuality. ... as far as the OP's question goes... I agree with the others that he can do whatever he wants. There is no law against multidating. He certainly can choose any style he likes... and accept the consequences of such, whatever they may be. My only gripe with multi-daters is the ones who do it without full disclosure... Other people are not obliged to tolerate it and have the right to know up front what expectations are. Edited August 28, 2012 by RedRobin 2
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