BenBeach Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I haven't contacted my ex in several weeks. B But it's literally all I can do not to send a note or something. Can I ask for opinions on how long to wait? Thanks everyone.
coltsfan1 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Depends on if you are the dumper or dumped. Dumpee, you should never be the first to call. Dumper, then its up to you. But if you just want to talk then my advice would be to leave the other person alone.
barese1 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I agree as the dumpee never be the first to call but that said I went 3 months NC and had the opportunity to go to a party where the ex would be. I went and it actually helped me but the point is this...I spent those three months trying to heal. The truth is depends on the BU but also you need to be in a better place before you contact them, ie over them or nearly over them. Seeing the ex gave me the final push to get her off that pedestal
jmjacobs31 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 I don't recommend doing this at all. i am 4 months post BU and I keep breaking NC. I for some reason think it will make me feel better and it never really does. Last week I sent him an email saying "i miss you" and 5 days later I get the response back " the feeling is mutual". I know it doesn't mean anything and only has me thinking about him more. I wish I had the strength to stay NC but its so hard!!
danderson3 Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 If your on a break up forum and asking if you should break no contact and you really want to send a note. Then no it doesn't sound like your over the relationship, it takes a long time. You need to get to a stage of indifference where you don't feel any particular way about her. This takes a longggg time to achieve. If you contact her and she ignores you how are you going to feel? not very special. If you contact her and she replies how are you going to feel? You'll probably go back to how you felt when you first broke up and idealizing a non perfect relationship. If a girl is interested in you then she will contact you. More often than not after a break up it's just to see if they can still have you wrapped around their finger for a confidence boost. You need to look at what you hope to achieve by contacting her vs. the most likely outcome if you contact her.
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