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Why won't my ex respond? Will I ever talk to her again?

Heartbrokenkiller

By Heartbrokenkiller
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Heartbrokenkiller New Member

Heartbrokenkiller

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Hey LS, this is my first post here, hopefully you guys can give me some insight into this situation. I went out with my ex for 7 months. She is 18 and I am a 20 year old guy. She broke up with me about 3 months ago. Although it took a few days of talking to get to the point of her breaking up with me, she was clearly very upset about it, she said that she couldn't be with me because she has a lot of stuff going on right now and can't be in a relationship. It's definitely true, because she really did have a lot of terrible family issues going on.

 

I don't doubt that she loved me, but it seems like she doesn't give a crap about me anymore. She broke up with me over the phone which I thought was pretty impersonal and rude. I tried to get her to meet me in person but she never responded to any of my attempts. I didn't pull a crazy ex and call her over and over again, or do anything else that you could call crazy like stalking or anything else. I only called her about 5 times in the first month and never got a reply. She also blocked me on facebook about 2 weeks after the breakup, after I sent her a heartfelt letter on facebook. The letter wasn't me asking for her to get back with me, it was just a statement of my confusion and how I felt. The breakup was confusing at the time and I just wanted to talk to her one last time, knowing full well that she wouldn't be with me. I wanted my 'closure'. She never responded.

 

It's been 3 months since the breakup now, and about a month since I last tried to make contact. I've seen her around a few times since we live in the same area, but she never even gives me as much as a passing glance. Anytime I see her the most I say is hey, she is usually with friends. I've never tried to make her talk to me about the breakup, we only talked one time and it was a basic "How's it going" conversation. I think the only reason she talked to me was because she didn't want to look like a bitch in front of her friends. Other than that, the only time she texted me was when she threatened to call the police on me for harassment, which was the strangest thing I have ever heard. Seriously guys, I called the girl 5 times in 2 months and sent her 2 pretty brief messages on facebook, and that was it. I talked to a few mutual friends about it and they said they doubt she meant it, she just didn't want to talk to me for whatever reasons.

 

I just don't understand what is happening. She helped me out so much when my life wasn't going well and right when things were evened out and going great she left me. I want to be friends with her but she is doing some wacky **** just to not talk to me and I don't get it at all.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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Posted

The thread right above yours is entitled "post here instead of contacting your ex." Maybe check it out?

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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From your thread, I get an impression that the girl had terrible things going on in her life … but your post is just about how she reacted and continues to react to YOU.

 

I imagine that she had needs and things she wanted from you that were not being met during your short relationship. Maybe you were more of a liability than an asset.

 

Anyway, you need to let it go even though it's hard to do. You've already been broken up for about half as long as the amount of time you were going out. You are well on your way and you WILL get through it.

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Heartbrokenkiller New Member

Heartbrokenkiller

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Thanks but I dedicated myself to no contact after I sent her my last message. In summary my letter said that I don't hate her, I'm not bitter about this, I told her I missed her but I understand that we won't be together, and I hope that we can be friends in the near future because I'm joining the military soon and she really helped me a lot in my life and I appreciate her. I'm not worried that I'm going to contact her again, I have no means to do so. I guess I have to just grit my teeth and bear this until I no longer have to desire to speak to her, since waiting for her to come to me won't be a healthy way to deal with this

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Heartbrokenkiller New Member

Heartbrokenkiller

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Yea she really had some rough **** going on, i think she just might be emotionally crippled. I was always right there for her, we had talked many times about things going on in her life and I always wanted to help her. She told me that I was the best she ever had several times and I believed her. When we broke up she was crying so much she could barely speak, and she said she didn't deserve me.

 

She has abandonment issues with her family, and she brought it up to me that me leaving for the military would be really hard for her. Also, she told me that everyone she loves eventually goes away. Looking back I suppose she just has some serious emotional problems that she needs to get help for. I wish I could have been the one to do it, but I understand that some problems only you can help yourself with

KatZee Established Member

KatZee

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She may have had "rough sh*t" going on but I'm willing to bet you any amount of money that there is something else going on.

 

When you're in love with someone and you're going through a rough time, you lean on your partner. You turn towards them for support, love, a hug, ANYTHING.

 

A person in love doesn't go through a rough time and then dump you over the phone, refuse to see you, refuse to acknowledge you, not answer your calls, block you on facebook and not respond to your letter, and then gives nothing more than a passing glance when you see her around.

 

SOMETHING happened. It could have been another person.

 

It's fairly obvious she wants nothing to do with you. Why that is, I can't say. But I'd stop trying to contact her. She doesn't want to speak to you and it was obvious when she disregarded your 5 phone calls, and then blocked you on facebook.

 

It sucks and it hurts, but you need to try and move on. You need to realize you probably WON'T speak to her ever again. That's how you'll start moving on.

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Heartbrokenkiller New Member

Heartbrokenkiller

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She may have had "rough sh*t" going on but I'm willing to bet you any amount of money that there is something else going on.

 

When you're in love with someone and you're going through a rough time, you lean on your partner. You turn towards them for support, love, a hug, ANYTHING.

 

A person in love doesn't go through a rough time and then dump you over the phone, refuse to see you, refuse to acknowledge you, not answer your calls, block you on facebook and not respond to your letter, and then gives nothing more than a passing glance when you see her around.

 

SOMETHING happened. It could have been another person.

 

It's fairly obvious she wants nothing to do with you. Why that is, I can't say. But I'd stop trying to contact her. She doesn't want to speak to you and it was obvious when she disregarded your 5 phone calls, and then blocked you on facebook.

 

It sucks and it hurts, but you need to try and move on. You need to realize you probably WON'T speak to her ever again. That's how you'll start moving on.

Exactly what I was thinking, and that's what everyone I asked about it was saying. I actually had been very suspicious about her cheating on me, because for the last 2 months sex dropped off dramatically. My suspicions were put to rest though, because one night about a week before we broke up I took her phone and snooped my ass off. I read her texts, read her calls, checked her facebook and read every single message from dudes. I found nothing suspicious, even to my paranoid self.

 

That didn't stop me from accusing her though, because why the **** would an 18 year old not want to have sex at LEAST once a week. We used to do it like rabbits, 3-5 times a weeks, sometimes a few times a day. Then there was a sudden decline from that to once a week to once a month. I didn't know what else to think, but I still think I was in the right for saying it though. After I accused her, she broke up with me a week later.

LostOne1 Established Member

LostOne1

Posted
Posted
She may have had "rough sh*t" going on but I'm willing to bet you any amount of money that there is something else going on.

 

When you're in love with someone and you're going through a rough time, you lean on your partner. You turn towards them for support, love, a hug, ANYTHING.

 

A person in love doesn't go through a rough time and then dump you over the phone, refuse to see you, refuse to acknowledge you, not answer your calls, block you on facebook and not respond to your letter, and then gives nothing more than a passing glance when you see her around.

 

SOMETHING happened. It could have been another person.

 

It's fairly obvious she wants nothing to do with you. Why that is, I can't say. But I'd stop trying to contact her. She doesn't want to speak to you and it was obvious when she disregarded your 5 phone calls, and then blocked you on facebook.

 

It sucks and it hurts, but you need to try and move on. You need to realize you probably WON'T speak to her ever again. That's how you'll start moving on.

 

 

I agree, this happened to me 3 days ago.

 

My ex gf was basically acting this same way. Very cold hearted, rude, ignoring me, telling me to move on, not wanting to meet up etc...

 

It was all because she replaced me and found someone else. THis guy filled a need for her and I didn't.. so she went with him instead of me. She never told me, I had to get it out of her myself by pushing her. Or she would've never told me, but she replaced me with this new guy around our 3rd anniversary.

 

The hate I have is gone, because it won't do me any good now. It's all about moving on and knowing she isn't coming back, so anything I say or do is a waste of time. This guy is her new man and she will treat him like she did me earlier. And, that means she will at no chance want to even look at me.

 

I think it may be the same case here, that she has someone else in mind and just doesn't need anyone else now.

Am313 Established Member

Am313

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Seems like you answered your own question. You accused her of cheating on you. That is the very worst thing you can do so long as the person is not actually cheating on you.

 

My ex was insecure, but I was incredibly loyal, and of she accused me of cheating I'd be freakin' livid. And I'm a guy. Imagine a woman, a person who by her very nature can be ruled by her emotions.

 

I'm not saying dumping you is justified, and I'm sure theres more going on. It sounds like she wasn't cheating, but the lack of sex indicates a lack of interest, attraction and desire. You must have had some type of behavior that made her lose interest in you. In all honestly, being suspicious without making accusations isn't any better than making accusations. I'm sure she picked up on it an noticed the insecurity.

 

Let it go, bro. Let it go. Join the service and get on with your life.

Edited by Am313
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