aanderson088 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I finally promised myself that I would commit to NC four days ago on the 23rd. I sent one final email that said: "I wanted to let you know that I want to give you the commitment that you deserve. You asked me to give you space, time and to not talk to you. The only way I can show you that I'm serious about this is to give you what you've asked for. If you ever decide that you do want to speak to me, I will be here for you when you do." I did not receive a response and I kind of took that as a good thing. A good thing compared to what she could have said. "Leave me alone", "I don't love you", "Goodbye", "I'm moving on, it's time that you should, too", etc. I've been working on building my faith and strengthening myself. I have been working very hard to not contact her. I deleted my FaceBook, deleted my Instagram. I did things I promised myself and her that I would do. I deleted all of that because it lead to temptation, along with the numbers of former sexual partners. I feel much better now, knowing that I am clean. I keep thinking that it's over, she won't contact me. I'm trying to continue these changes with that in mind because I know that rebuilding myself from the bottom-up is a great experience and truly a wonderful opportunity. I just wonder from anyone that has not responded to an email like that: Why didn't you respond? I sent it so that she knows I'll continue down this path and the reason why I'm not contacting her was because she asked me to. Not because I've moved on, or I don't want to. I wanted to make that clear. Please tell me your opinions. I will proceed with NC. I just want to find some placebo until the does contact me, telling me she's done, or telling me she'd like to retry. Either way, NC will continue. I just want some form of... closure, I guess.
flitzanu Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 have you considered the reason she didn't reply, is that she has no desire to reply? it isn't always magical and mysterious.
youngnlove89 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 The opposite of love is indifference. This is where she is. You are in love and she is indifferent. She didn't respond because she doesn't care anymore. That's all. Don't read in between the lines.
Author aanderson088 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 Thank you for that. Have you considered... not being rude? I've seen your posts on other people's threads and I have noticed the same pattern in every one of your responses. I appreciate your bluntness and yes, I have considered that. However, being that this situation deals with matters of the heart and is deeply important to me, I wish to remain as optimistic as I possibly can.
youngnlove89 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I'm not trying to be rude. I'm being frank. Truth hurts and we need to hear it. Now you need to focus on letting go and we are all here to help you with that process. But we can't help you if you aren't willing to let her go.
Author aanderson088 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 That response wasn't to you Younglove
Author aanderson088 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 I'm just being sensitive. I apologize. Thank you both.
youngnlove89 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I know. It's hard to hear the truth. You will get through this. Start writing a list of pro's and con's. Why did you break up?
Author aanderson088 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 I'm fairly reluctant to tell you. I did way too many bad things and was very selfish and was not willing to fully give myself to the relationship. She forgave me and took me back a lot of times and she ended it a few weeks ago because she was tired of trying and saw me returning to my old behaviors. She was smart. She used to say "You need to feel what it's like to not have me, then you might change." She was right. Also, in our last conversation, she told me that she won't believe anything I say and if I want to prove it then I need to show her. This is me trying to prove it. She's probably blocked her heart from mine though... After being let down so many times, who wouldn't be?
flitzanu Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Thank you for that. Have you considered... not being rude? I've seen your posts on other people's threads and I have noticed the same pattern in every one of your responses. I appreciate your bluntness and yes, I have considered that. However, being that this situation deals with matters of the heart and is deeply important to me, I wish to remain as optimistic as I possibly can. you're obviously welcome to be as optimistic as you can, but that doesn't change the realism of the situation. if you're looking for someone to say "OMG DUDE YEAH SHE TOTALLY STILL LOVES YOU!!!" then that's not going to happen. you've now made the assumption i'm just being rude, but you're not making the assumption that i've been in your position and i know exactly how these things turn out. i'd rather tell you the truth than hold your hand and giving you an ounce of false hope. 1
youngnlove89 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I'm fairly reluctant to tell you. I did way too many bad things and was very selfish and was not willing to fully give myself to the relationship. She forgave me and took me back a lot of times and she ended it a few weeks ago because she was tired of trying and saw me returning to my old behaviors. She was smart. She used to say "You need to feel what it's like to not have me, then you might change." She was right. Also, in our last conversation, she told me that she won't believe anything I say and if I want to prove it then I need to show her. This is me trying to prove it. She's probably blocked her heart from mine though... After being let down so many times, who wouldn't be? You sound much like my ex-boyfriend. After countless times of being let down, I walked away. It's hard, I can tell you that she is hurting. But she needs proof. She needs you to show her what you really feel. BUT BEFORE YOU DO THAT, you make sure that is what you feel. Don't just THINK this is what you feel because you want something you can't have. Make sure she is the one, before you give HER false hope!
Author aanderson088 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 Younglove, that's another reason why I'm giving her the space that she asked for. It's a chance to let us both really consider if the relationship is right for us. I'm very familiar with that feeling of wanting what you can't have. That is not what this is. Two weeks since the last time I saw her and I've not faltered on that thought once. I won't bother you with the reasons why I know that, or why I think we really are perfect for each other. I used to be afraid to say that before but I believe fully that she is the one. I'm going to give it more time because two weeks is not any time at all to really settle on that conclusion, I know that. I just believe that she was delivered to me to be the sign that I need to change or I won't like where my life ends up. I am on a different path now and I feel great. I just want to be able to share this with her, but either way, I like the direction I'm heading and I know I'll only be upset if I stop.
Recommended Posts