KatZee Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 KatZee, I hate how your ALWAYS right. You and my mother are the ones to kick me back in the right frame of my mind, I swear! I'm literally goinig to copy and paste and print out every piece of advice you have given me! And I will read it everytime he contacts me or everytime I miss him. I wish you weren't right though. But golly, you are overly correct. If he DID want me back he would be doing everything he could. I want flowers. I want a letter. I want him apologizing. I want him to say "you are the one!" But he hasn't. And he won't. Thanks, but the truth still hurts me. It still makes me sad that I'm not good enough to want by him. bahahah I'll be here stalking the threads looking for you if you come back with more of this nonsense! Block and delete!! Block and delete!!
KatZee Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Okay, I made a promise to myself just now. I re-read most of the advice I've been given on here (still reading actually), and put it all on paper and printed it out. Everytime I get sad, miss him, or he contacts me, I'm going to re-read it. My promise to myself is this: I will not contact him, I will not take him back. Only under ONE condition, I will even consider contacting him would be that he literally tells me, "I love you, you are the one and I will prove it to you that I have changed." That will probably never come out of his mouth, which is even more of a reason why I need to stick to my promise. I will move on right? I will get through this, right? I will no longer contact him unless he proves that he has changed. I will not reply to his messages, his texts, his emails, his calls unless he is willing to change. This will be the hardest thing I have emtionally endured. But I feel that as time goes on, so will I. If it's meant to be, it will be. If he really loves me, he knows what to do. As much as it sucks, once you start blocking and deleting, you'll never hear from him again. And that's the wake up call you will get. That you're not even worth THAT much effort for him to keep you in his life. He'll just be gone. Even though you think blocking someone from a profile or your phone is final, it's really not. He still knows where you live. He would still be capable of showing up at your house WITH those flowers you want, or mailing you a nice letter. There are other ways to find you. You're not going to magically vanish off the earth. The blocking isn't to keep him out as much as it is there for you to start moving on, and stop torturing yourself. You don't need to have your phone buzzing everyday with his stupid crap, go away! Make that go away. The DAY my ex ended it with me (3 year relationship!) He was blocked and deleted. Mere MINUTES after it happened he was gone. In the next hour all e-mails were gone. Within 6 hours I had gotten home and trashed all his physical letters, photos, items, and anything I had in my apartment of him. It was like a bandaid... ripped right the hell off. Sure I held out some hope he'd come back, but I didn't want to sit around and stew in the reminder of him. 1
Mike_d Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 so have you blocked him yet? /me trying to give /you a nudge to do what you already know you need/want to do
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 so have you blocked him yet? /me trying to give /you a nudge to do what you already know you need/want to do Mentally blocked him. I blocked him from the dating site. But my phone service won't let me block him, only his texts.
KatZee Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Mentally blocked him. I blocked him from the dating site. But my phone service won't let me block him, only his texts. What service do you have?
Mike_d Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Mentally blocked him. I blocked him from the dating site. But my phone service won't let me block him, only his texts. lol, k, that's a start. and FB block? how's that going? again, you already know what you need to do here. remove the crzy from your life for awhile, you can do this don't answer the phone, don't listen to the voice mails. change the name in the phone number contact info to 'do not answer this no matter what'. if you can stick with this then the volume of calls/messages will begin to slow down. you need a bit of space for awhile from all the insanity around you
Tree_Salmon Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 UGH. It just hurts because what if he comes back? What if he does change? What if he does really love me? I seriously feel this way, I know it's pathetic, I know that after how he is treating me I should NOT feel this way. I suppose you are right. I will start blocking him one technology at a time...deal? I just hate letting go. It hurts. But I guess in the end...I'll find someone who truly does care about me the same way I care about them. Why hold onto someone who has nothing to offer me anymore? "What if's" is our minds way of rationalizing this traumatic event. You have to start bottom lining peoples actions. If he loved you, you guys would be together right now. He's not magically going to change in a week because you're not sitting on his dick anymore. I've done this enough to know that people don't really change their core. And once a relationship is done, its typically done for good. The rest becomes a waste of time. I wish there was a clear answer for you but there isn't. You have to make the decisions on your own.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 What service do you have? Sprint. Maybe I should just change my number? Guys, this is so hard. Because I know it is final. It's like when someone dies. It doesn't hit you till you actually bury them into the ground. Before that, it's the process of letting go. Buying the casket, making funeral arrangements, the ceremony, etc. But once they are lowered in the ground, it's final. That is the end, they are no longer in motion, they are still, in a casket buried beneath the earth we live in. I know it isn't that extreme, but it is a death of a relationship. I've been planning for the funeral long enough now that I just haven't wanted to let go. Knowing that I am digging the grave is realizing that it is over. He isn't coming back. I've been trying to hold off of the pain I'm going to feel because I can't face reality. I'm afraid to feel that pain, the death of a relationship. 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 lol, k, that's a start. and FB block? how's that going? again, you already know what you need to do here. remove the crzy from your life for awhile, you can do this don't answer the phone, don't listen to the voice mails. change the name in the phone number contact info to 'do not answer this no matter what'. if you can stick with this then the volume of calls/messages will begin to slow down. you need a bit of space for awhile from all the insanity around you Well, he doesn't have a FB so that's easy. Dating site is blocked. Now just working on email and phone.
Mike_d Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 yep, it's hard. really hard. but it is also something that you need to do for yourself. your self-esteem seems shot, you have a lot more going on for yourself that you give yourself credit for. you *can* stand on your own 2 feet without a guy to hold you up. and just visualize your hands letting go him and let him float off. it'll be hard, it is incredibly hard for all the rest of us too so you are not the only one feeling the deep hurt that you do. but at this point it becomes more of a ceremony, the rest of the deal has already been sealed for awhile now.
Tree_Salmon Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Sprint. Maybe I should just change my number? Guys, this is so hard. Because I know it is final. It's like when someone dies. It doesn't hit you till you actually bury them into the ground. Before that, it's the process of letting go. Buying the casket, making funeral arrangements, the ceremony, etc. But once they are lowered in the ground, it's final. That is the end, they are no longer in motion, they are still, in a casket buried beneath the earth we live in. I know it isn't that extreme, but it is a death of a relationship. I've been planning for the funeral long enough now that I just haven't wanted to let go. Knowing that I am digging the grave is realizing that it is over. He isn't coming back. I've been trying to hold off of the pain I'm going to feel because I can't face reality. I'm afraid to feel that pain, the death of a relationship. It's actually EXACTLY as when someone dies. I mean the feeling is slightly different depending on the death but I have felt the same feeling losing someone as I did during death. It's not as final as death because typically the ex comes back from time to time. I've seen this happen every time. But it's like death in the sense that the love is dead and that beautiful person you once knew is gone. They will never be that way again. it's sad and difficult but it really gives you a kick in the ass and wakes you up. You need to grow from it.
Drseussgrrl Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Girl it sucks for sure but trust me, after one month of no contact I feel SO MUCH BETTER than I did that first week. I'm actually starting to get a little bit angry when I think about him - not nostalgic. 1
Tree_Salmon Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Girl it sucks for sure but trust me, after one month of no contact I feel SO MUCH BETTER than I did that first week. I'm actually starting to get a little bit angry when I think about him - not nostalgic. Yeah it's going to be a bitch. And it comes down to how much time you guys were together. The longer the relationship the longer it'll take you to accept it. You get angry, sad, lonely, then angry again but once you get through this once nothing can really bother you again. After my first heartbreak many years ago I learned that it wont kill you. Use it to grow up.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 "Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but passes it does. Even for me." That is a quote from the Twilight series. I never really liked that movie, but the books are very well-written. I guess it's time to be strong now. Let go. I recently watched the movie, "P.S. I love you" GREAT MOVIE. About a girl who loses her husband to a brain tumor and how she learns to cope and move on. He is gone, she has to let go. It's a gripping movie, I cried so much. It really shows you that life doesn't stop for anyone. Sometimes the only option you have is to let go, even when it hurts. 1
Tree_Salmon Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 "Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but passes it does. Even for me." That is a quote from the Twilight series. I never really liked that movie, but the books are very well-written. I guess it's time to be strong now. Let go. I recently watched the movie, "P.S. I love you" GREAT MOVIE. About a girl who loses her husband to a brain tumor and how she learns to cope and move on. He is gone, she has to let go. It's a gripping movie, I cried so much. It really shows you that life doesn't stop for anyone. Sometimes the only option you have is to let go, even when it hurts. These are all just movies and talk. The real thing is real tough. It's not just going to magically get better. You might be great one day and a disaster the next don't be surprised. It's going to be bad and some days every quote in the world wont help. You can always vent here.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 These are all just movies and talk. The real thing is real tough. It's not just going to magically get better. You might be great one day and a disaster the next don't be surprised. It's going to be bad and some days every quote in the world wont help. You can always vent here. sounds lovely! 1
Mike_d Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 sounds lovely! lol!! jump on in, the water's cold and murky but we'll all stay afloat together
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 lol!! jump on in, the water's cold and murky but we'll all stay afloat together I guess if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too. 1
Mike_d Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I guess if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too. doh! spelling nazi! good catch, hate when I do that. my mind is elsewhere, see if you can guess where :\
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 doh! spelling nazi! good catch, hate when I do that. my mind is elsewhere, see if you can guess where :\ WHAT just happened here? I'm confused :/
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