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Posted

I won't bore you all with a long drawn out story about our history. The brief version is that we had been together 4 1/2 years, we had plenty on ups and downs and it was a common thing for us to finish and say it over...

 

Well it happened again a few weeks ago but I think this time it's for real, although we didn't live together I gave her all of her stuff back (I thought I had) and wished her all the best... She wanted to stay friends, I said I couldnt as I wouldn't be able to get over her if we did. I said that I wanted to stop communication and move on, that text conversation was on Thursday which was two weeks after we broke up..

 

So here is the problem. she has never been one to like being ignored and not in control and I'm sure she is hating that she can't get a response from me and for me to be at her call. This afternoon I get a text asking for the last remaining bits that I forgot to put together, a candle holder, some bedding, curtains and a dog lead.... All things that I think are worthless, and things that I probably bought when we were together.

 

The message finished with. hope all is well with you, good luck with the move.

 

It was a perfectly happy text, but at the same time pointless.... Was it an attempt to break N/C or does she want a stupid candle holder? Was she being all happy to give the impression all is great? I just don't know....

 

Should I reply and if so what?

 

Thank you in advance.

Posted

Well, it's up to you. You can stay in NC or you can respond all business like. Like, you can tell her that you don't care about those items and she could either donate those items or throw them out. And then back to NC. By doing this, she'll have no reason to contact you after you settled the last bit of items. By not contacting her about these last items, in a couple of weeks she may contact you and say, " Hey, you never got back with me about this candleholder. By the way, how are you?"

 

By taking the candleholder and those other items out of the equation, she has no other reason to contact you.

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Posted

Good idea - I am convinced The contact was for no reason other than to 'make contact' I will box everything up and let her collect it.

 

No reason to hear anymore after than.... Although I'm sure it won't stop her.

Posted

THEN you ignore it. You've tied up any loose ends of your relationship. There's nothing left to talk about and the only thing you need to do is heal and move on.

  • Author
Posted

Thanks Chi... I am still in the place where I secretly he it can all be resolved. I know that's not healthy and I know I have to get through it as soon as I can but it would be a lie if I said I hoped it would work out...

 

I'm sure I'm like a lot of people though when a relationship ends and I just need to stay strong while I'm in this place.

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