AwptiK Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) I'll spare the background stuff and skip to tonight. I'm 21, she's 19 btw. Ask for any clarity. I was the dumpee, and the reasoning for breaking up was mainly to focus on school (just started as a freshman) and constant heckling from her father about how she shouldn't get tied up in one guy this young in her life. Also, we've been NC since the breakup. Tonight I pulled up Skype and my ex's status on there was, "thinkin bout him" And three days after a breakup, I figured it was about me.. It was a good time anyway to change my month-old status mentioning her to something else, so I simply just put a Nearly immediately, her facebook status changed to, "Going to bed, finally knowing that my reality is better than my dreams <3" Now, this girl...if there's any one thing about her, she has an insane memory. It just so happens that I told her once, super late at night, "...Because reality these days sure beats the hell out of my dreams." Speaking of, she took a screenshot of that exact series of texts and it's still on her instagram. So I'm thinking, "Well surely she misses me if she's going to say something that she knows i'll probably see and recognize" and i'll admit there was a hope towards future reconciliation between us. Mood at this point, chill. I had to fight the urge to text her, so I hopped on instagram instead. First picture....top of the page, just minutes after that status...is her posting a picture of a different guy. (Also, we both deleted our pictures of each other off of things like facebook, but there's still dozens of pictures of us on her instagram.) I recognized the guy as someone i've seen around school, and after a brief search, it appears that he's dating someone, but it wasn't clear. I can only speculate from here, but i'll say that I became very very mad within seconds. I've said a lot of sweet things to her from my heart, and to see anything close to something special I shared with her, being used to describe a potentially (and highly likely) new guy just blows me away. It's a total slap in the face, especially to say, 'Finally knowing'... When I sure took it as a realization, etc etc. After everything...after she called my best friend the night she broke up with me, bawling her eyes out, talking about how she really really just wants to get the year over with and hope to be lucky enough to try things again. I hope I can get some advice, even though it's probably relatively simple... I just needed to get this out of my head because there was really no way I was going to be able to go to sleep like that. One edit, I hadn't quite thought of the whole rebound relationship concept..which could be what she's doing. But still, but still, but still....i'm so angry. Edited August 27, 2012 by AwptiK
Regrets58 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Really bad thing to have to see and I feel for you. This is one of the reasons why NC protects you when you are vulnerable. With all the modern networking sites it is so tempting to look. Not sure how you do it(I'm 54 and a bit of a technophobe lol)but block your access to all these sites. Have to admit if I had still been on FB would have looked at my ex's profile.Guess in matters of love we are all 21! Don't look until you don't care.
Author AwptiK Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 Thanks for the words man.. It was just a sudden shift in emotions that got me so upset last night. Honestly, if I'd have just seen the picture, i'd have been down, but still okay. But to see her Facebook status being a direct reference to something I recently said to her, THEN to see that it wasn't about me at all; that's what killed me.
Regrets58 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Well you could maybe look on this as some sort of closure for you. My ex wanted to stay friends very soon after BU. It was nice in a way.Lots of contact incl nights out,calling at her house for meals,still seeing her family etc. Started to mess with my head in a big way though. Cut contact eventually,was so so hard. During a later period of LC,found out she was seeing someone else. Felt like being kicked by a horse,on NC would never have found out. However painful though it has helped me to start letting her go.
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