Talking to two guys

[isladelencanto]

I am a 21 single female, and this past year I have gotten myself into a mess as far as dating goes. Over the spring, I went to study abroad in Puerto Rico. It was a blast and I found a guy there that i had really liked, but it didnt work out like I had thought it would. His friend was really into me and started talking to me after the other guy and I stopped talking. At first I wasnt into his friend, and wanted to keep my distance because I didn't want to make things complicated and I knew I was going to go back to the states soon.

 

However, once I returned home, the guy was very adament about keeping in contact with me and told me that he had a lot of feelings for me and hopes for something more to happen between us. He even mentioned that he's saving money to come visit me. I think he's a really sweet guy and that he has alot to offer, and I really want to give him a chance.. but the idea of going thru a long distance relationship is making it hard for me to really want to get close to him.

 

Now, this summer, I reconnected with one of my guy friends that I met last year, and we have been getting really close very fast. Ever since we had met, we had really good chemistry - just nothing came out of it until now. This guy lives an hour and a half away from me, and it's making me second guess how I feel for the Puerto Rican guy. However, I'm not sure if I am feeling this way only because I know that he lives closer to me, and the PR guy doesnt.

 

I don't want to disappoint the PR guy and tell him that I'm into someone else, because I feel that he may be the "better guy" and I should stick with him (he doesn't party as much or as wild as the other one) However, I don't feel like I had the same chemistry w him like I do w the other guy. Also I'm afraid if I pursue him, and it doesnt work out bc of the distance, I won't get a chance with the guy that is closer to me.

 

I guess overall I'm really asking, is it better to follow your head, like doing the thing you think is right, or is it better to follow your emotions??

[bluegreen]

(he doesn't party as much or as wild as the other one)

 

There you have it good decent "normal" guys are very hard to find

what is use of two hours distance if in few weeks you will cry cause he went clubbing got s... drunk did not called you for two days will chemistry help you then?

Maybe am being bit to harsh but I been there bad boys take long long time to become good ones and chemistry its important but you have to give it fair chance to grow develop be realistic not everything is like in a movies or books think about it some more.

 

Put down a list write it see what you come up with and if you tried and still feel same way then its right choice whatever one you made ...

[justwhoiam]

I am a 21 single female

You know you are single. No one of the three guys was interested in having you as a girlfriend or tried to make that apparent.

 

I found a guy there that i had really liked, but it didnt work out like I had thought it would. His friend was really into me and started talking to me after the other guy and I stopped talking. At first I wasnt into his friend

You talk to guy #1 and think he's nice, until you get to know his friend, that is guy #2, and you start being into him but fight against it because you don't want to ruin a chance with guy #1.

 

However, once I returned home, the guy was very adament about keeping in contact with me

Guy #1 doesn't have strong feelings for you, just a mere interest and he's not even sure he should pursue it. Moreover, you don't like the idea of a LDR.

he's saving money to come visit me

Did you ask him why? What's his intent? Do you have any idea when that will be? Did he mention a precise date?

 

Now, this summer, I reconnected with one of my guy friends that I met last year, and we have been getting really close very fast. Ever since we had met, we had really good chemistry - just nothing came out of it

Here comes guy #3. The quickness it takes for you to shift your thoughts from one guy to another is indicative of how light your feelings are (you're not in love with any of them) or that's just a trait of your personality (like a bee flying from flower to flower).

 

I don't want to disappoint the PR guy and tell him that I'm into someone else, because I feel that he may be the "better guy" and I should stick with him (he doesn't party as much or as wild as the other one). However, I don't feel like I had the same chemistry w him like I do w the other guy.

You said you're into someone else, that automatically says you're not into guy #1. No matter how nice he is. Not enough chemistry means chemistry is not there.

 

is it better to follow your head, like doing the thing you think is right, or is it better to follow your emotions??

This is a simple one. First you follow your emotions, detecting who you're attracted to. Then you follow your reason, as to understand if there can be anything between the two of you or if it's just going to hurt you. It looks like you're attracted to guy #3, but he's not that interested in you. And you can't be with guy #1 or guy #2 just because they had an interest in you. When feelings will be stronger, you will certainly know.

 

Right now, your top concern is not to miss a chance. But see it this way: if guy #4 comes around in the meantime and HE was the right guy for you, then you'd be missing a chance, because you're wasting your time on the wrong guys. So I would say: keep talking to guys, go out with them, enjoy their company, make friends with them, but do not commit until you have real feelings for someone. That special person is not in your life yet.

 

And keep two things in mind, always: when a guy falls for you, he will give it away somehow, and secondly, you can't just settle with anyone because they are into you. If real chemistry is there, you will know for sure.