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In a complete mess. Need answers

reallyupset

By reallyupset
in Coping

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reallyupset New Member

reallyupset

Posted
Posted (edited)

Mods *I'n cross posting so please put this where it needs to be please.

 

So I come to you guys/girls, heart in hand trying to figure out what the hell happened.

 

My girlfriend of 3 years, left me last monday. Not just a normal breakup. She was visting friends up north (We recently moved here from her home town 6 months ago). While she was away she was texting me as normal. Sending me pictures of her friends newborn baby, saying she loved me. The day she was supposed to fly home, her parents and a police officer showed up at my door. They had a protection order and wanted to get her stuff. They told me she was moving back home with her parents in California. The protection order said, I made threats to kill her, and was verbally abusive. None of it was true. When I asked her dad why this was happening he told me she feels unsafe here. It was TOTAL BS! I never once laid a hand on her. She never felt unsafe with me.

 

Since then, my cable/internet has been shut off, our joint account frozen, she turned off my cell phone and her father called the landlord requesting she be removed from the lease as she has the protection order and feels unsafe. In fact a few days before this all happened she kept texting me to deposit money in our checking account. She was going to completely drain the account!! I was an idiot, and never put the utlities in BOTH of our names. She closed her facebook account, created another one. I of course have not made any attempt to contact either her or her family.

 

I'm extremely confused because in my mind everything was normal. In most relationships one loves more than the other. Well she loved me more. She showered me with gifts. Would constantly say I love you to me and if I didn't respond get annoyed. In fact when we first met I just wanted to be friends. She was living with her parents. She pushed herself into my life.

 

This whole thing was out of character. This had to have been planned weeks in advance. Everyone was in on it but me.

 

The only things that were not 100 percent:

 

-She wanted to get married and have kids. I told her that was not something I was ready for yet.

 

-Since we had not been living here that long, she never got to develop many friendships, and missed her family who lives 6 hours away.

 

-She was very insecure, and often accused me of cheating on her.

 

-I was sometimes mean to her about her weight. Telling her to workout with me more, and her being healthy was important to me.

 

I AM COMPLETELY DUMBFOUNDED. Never once did she mention she was unhappy with out relationship, other than what I stated above. This is not the type of person who would just pick up and leave without saying anything. She constantly had to tell me what was on her mind. We were friends before anything else. I feel so betrayed. Not only am I not allowed to contact her, she wouldn't even be able to contact me since she disconnected my cell phone.

 

What the hell happened? All I can think of, is maybe she convinced herself I was cheating on her. It appears she's trying to ruin my life. Why go to these extremes?

Edited by reallyupset
InAFog Established Member

InAFog

Posted
Posted

It sounds to me like she is getting some sort of outside influence to do these things. My friends girlfriend had a psycho, vengeful sister who got her to do all kinds of crazy stuff like this when they were going through some minor problems. Broke into his house, stole a bunch of his stuff and made false reports to the police about him. How was your relationship with her friends/family?

 

Perhaps you shoud get some legal advice before things get worse.

BewitchedandBothered Established Member

BewitchedandBothered

Posted
Posted

...you called her fat...Bitches hate that.

InAFog Established Member

InAFog

Posted
Posted
...you called her fat...Bitches hate that.

 

 

lol! good grief how people are worrying about the weight i'm losing after this BU!! But i'm so happy to have my body reclaimed! I wish they would have been so forthcoming about how fat i was getting during the relationship!

  • Like 1
BewitchedandBothered Established Member

BewitchedandBothered

Posted
Posted
lol! good grief how people are worrying about the weight i'm losing after this BU!! But i'm so happy to have my body reclaimed! I wish they would have been so forthcoming about how fat i was getting during the relationship!
Maybe they didn't notice the poundage or it simply didn't bother them. It's the heart and mind that matters the most. I would rather hear about my dimpled derriere and saddlebags from my female friends; we could go to the gym together; not from a man, LOL!!!
Tyler. Member

Tyler.

Posted
Posted
...you called her fat...Bitches hate that.

 

Haha:D The only B word you should call a girl is Beautiful. Bitches love to be called beautiful :D

 

Dude i'm not very sure of this but the post above me might be right, she might have a friend or a family member messing with her head. If this is out of character of course, because she might just be blaming you for her screw ups, whatever they may be. Just let it cool down for a while and then you may try to call her to hear what she has to say about all this. Again, she might just be making these up in order to break up and play the victim to her friends and family, i don't know.

  • Like 2
BewitchedandBothered Established Member

BewitchedandBothered

Posted
Posted

Just wondering why she had YOUR phone turned off? Seems she had alot of control in this relationship. Next time around, keep your stuff in your name and no joined bank accounts. Just thought of something....you said she wanted to start a family--she saw a new baby and got the fever, clock is ticking and you're not wanting that way of life. But she is.

InAFog Established Member

InAFog

Posted
Posted

Thinking of your situation and gave above friend i mentioned a call and mentioned it, casually without saying what i thought. Well, it sure rang his bells! Reminded him of his exact situation where she was being held a sort of hostage by her family who "were the only ones who really cared about her". They manipulated her into taking drastic measures to satiate theire own revenge for theire own problems. She has never been the same since. She used to be a sweet and charming girl but after a taste of the wicked revenge she is PSYCHO!!! and that was yeeeeaaars ago!

 

Tread carefully. And slap a restraining order on her a$$. It can definitely go both ways.

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