My first love messaged me after 3 years of being apart...should I go with it?

[SummerSkye3]

I dated this guy for about a year and we lived together and had a great relationship for awhile...He was the first and only person I've been in love with. We had a very passionate relationship (both positively and negatively at times) Every guy that I've dated after him I've compared to him as much as I've tried not to..none of them seem to measure up. When we broke up we were both going through alot and I took alot of my anger due to personal problems out on him and said some things I shouldn't have; he ended up breaking up with me, although it was an emotional breakup on both our parts. We're both in very different places now than we were then. He was in another relationship after me and lived with the girl, at one point they were engaged. I hear from mutual friends that he broke up with her...and he recently sent me a message (out of the blue) implying that he wanted to catch up. I went to see him yesterday and we talked for an hour and a half or so and we got along better than ever...it seemed like no time at all had passed..and afterwards he sent me a message saying he was really glad I stopped by and it was nice seeing me. I have plans to see him again in about a week. I'm not sure if he wants to be friends, a booty call, just to be on speaking terms, or something more. Normally I wouldnt even consider inviting an ex from my past back into my life, but I feel like there should be an exception for someone who held such a huge place in my life. I'm not sure if this is something worth exploring or if it's more than likely that I'll just get hurt again..is it worth the risk?

[ProjectSiK]

I'm surprised no one posted here yet. I think it's great that you two started talking again, I'm not a fan of the idea that you should completely cut off all contact/interaction with someone who once played a major role in your life. Perhaps people aren't posting here because it seems that you are, or at least should be, in the right state of mind to make this decision yourself. A lot of time has passed and you said it yourself, things are not as they were back then. You've changed and he most likely changed as well.

 

My advice would be to keep seeing him, you don't know what his plan is or if he even has one. So many people here tend to jump to the negative side of exes reappearing without thinking that this person may be a GOOD person with no side intentions. Of course it goes both ways but as I stated, you seem to have your head in the right place. You have it in you to realize what his intentions may or may not be but you'll never know if you don't continue to see him. Who knows, a new found relationship may form out of this OR you two may be completely different people who form a better friendship.

[cincinnatikid]

Totally agree with ProjectSiK. Unless you were both absolute monsters towards each other or someone killed one another's pet (JK), there's no reason why you should ex-communicate someone from your life. sometimes i wonder why my ex appears to do this but i just chalk it up to something i'm not supposed to understand.

 

From what it sounds like, it seems as if he never really forgot about you. i think that actually says something right there. obviously i do not know his intentions and, frankly, neither do you completely just yet. there's no reason you shouldn't want to continue to explore this further. if you want to, GO FOR IT! just promise yourself that you take it slow, take your time, and start rebuilding from the ground up and refuse to rush into anything. perhaps you have been given an awesome opportunity to fall in love all over again with someone you really care about. some people dream of this opportunity. best of luck to you.