lovebitme Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I honestly think that sometimes my g/f purposefully starts arguments with me. There are those few things that whenever they are brought up, turns into a fight. Often I know when one is coming on. The last one was a text message that said, do you think you can take off work next tues. and wed? I didn't even answer back because I knew it would blow up. She called me later and of coarse it all blew up. So am I crazy or do some people need to fight every week or so? Anyone date someone who goes out of their way to push your buttons?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Yes, some people like to fight. Some people don't understand themselves enough to experss themselves in a more productive way and it can come out in anger or frustration or other negative emotions. They aren't trying to fight but they just don't know how to be more productive in their communication. When dealing with your girlfriend, even if you think she is being unreasonable, don't ignore it because it's only going to make her more angry. Think of it this way: She is trying to communicate something with you (even if the communication isn't a great way to do it.) Acknowledge what is going on, this doesn't mean you have to agree with her, hear her out and try to work with her. What do you guys usually fight about and why did she want you to take off work?
Author lovebitme Posted August 26, 2012 Author Posted August 26, 2012 I like your answer. I guess I never thought of it that way.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I'm glad. And I say that because I know that sometimes when I have fought with people, it was because I was just trying to communicate something but I wasn't being very successful. It takes a lot of practice and trial and error to learn to communicate better. It's really a learned skill. It just might be that she is alot like how I was. If you tweek your resposne to her and let her feel like she is being heard (that doens't mean you have to agree with her), I think it could really help the situation and get you two to a point of communicating your differences more effectively.
mortensorchid Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I have met people who live for fighting with others, and they usually do not have long lasting relationships of any kind. Fighting has to have some kind of legitimate reason, and a lot of people, I find, have no legitimate excuse as to why they are fighting except that they love to do it. Drama queens/kings. Personally I am afraid of them, because it only escalates into more dangerous behaviors.
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