Going out alone

[mesmerized]

Ladies, in your experience, do you get approached more when you go out alone or when you go out with other people (either at night or during the day)?

[reptilelover88]

I think it depends very much on where I am, how I'm dressed and what my body language is like. If I'm out alone grocery shopping or running errands, I hardly ever get approached, probably because i give off an 'I'm busy' air and am dressed down. However, I have had great success meeting people (for romance and just for friendship) alone too. When travelling, I've always managed to meet people in hostels and at backpacker bars because people seem willing to talk to strangers and make new friends in those sorts of places. When I go out to bars and clubs at home, I think that a big group can be intimidating and make it harder to meet new people. Having said that, those aren't the sorts of places I would go to alone anyway.

[GirlontheLam]

I get approached way more when I am out alone. On the street, or in coffee places, that sort of thing.

 

I do get a fair share of random approaches in restaurants and such in a small group.

[darkmoon]

on my own, solo, so much so that i plan it this way...solo early evening or daytime

[Lonely Ronin]

From a guys perspective you will get approached more when you are out alone, or when you separate yourself from your group so you can be approached. Showing you want to be approached always helps as well.

[Later82012]

I get approached way more when I am out alone. On the street, or in coffee places, that sort of thing.

 

I do get a fair share of random approaches in restaurants and such in a small group.

When strangers approach you on the street, coffee places and in restaurants what do they have to say to you? Ask you if you are single and ask you out or do they just try and make a conversation in general? How do you feel approached by people like this? Do you take them seriously and do you think about them later at all?

[mortensorchid]

I don't know about that. I usually go out alone (whether it's to a bar, work, an errand, etc.) and I never get approached by anyone no matter where I go. Unfortunately I do not have a lot of women friends (at least those who are available when I am going out to do anything), so I don't know if I would be approached more than if I am alone or in a group.

[GirlontheLam]

When strangers approach you on the street, coffee places and in restaurants what do they have to say to you? Ask you if you are single and ask you out or do they just try and make a conversation in general? How do you feel approached by people like this? Do you take them seriously and do you think about them later at all?

 

Most of the time is it simple small talk. Or a contextual question: do you know where this place is, what's your favorite drink here, have you ever tried the scones.....

 

I've had people come up to compliment me on jewelry. Or even in a restaurant or even ask what I ordered. On the other side, I have asked people what food they got (not trying to flirt) and had people offer for me to have a seat and try some from their plate.

 

Usually, saying hi and asking a not too personal question does the trick. You want to ask a question where you can ask follow up questions easily and the other person is likely to have an opinion.

 

I am the sort of person who generally makes small talk easily, so jumping from small talk to me getting a clue you are interested can be a little harder. I generally assume that the other person is chatty as well.

 

If the person is interesting, doesn't seem sketchy, I am completely comfortable chatting for a couple of minutes. Really just a few minutes is good, if we have rapport, I'll hand over a phone number.

 

As for thinking about them later? Depends on what sort of impression they made. I've got a coffee shop crush right now!

 

I am pretty "smiley" so I imagine this leads me to getting approached a lot more often.

[Lonely Ronin]

I am pretty "smiley" so I imagine this leads me to getting approached a lot more often.

 

Yes it does, if you smile at us when we look over at you, and we catch you watching us when we look over at you, you are probably going to get approached if the opportunity presents it's self.

[Later82012]

@GirlontheLam - Thank you for replying.

I talk to a lot of people around me wherever I go including a lot of women and most of the time I am not hitting on most of these women and I pay compliments if I liked something about her even if I am not interested in her. So, they are automatically assuming I am hitting on them? To me it looks like most women assume a lot of this stuff. Yeah, but if a guy senses an opening he is going to try.

[Emilia]

Yes it does, if you smile at us when we look over at you, and we catch you watching uswhen we look over at you, you are probably going to get approached if the opportunity presents it's self.

 

Yeah I wish I was better at that. My mind is usually on a million other things, even when I'm looking at a guy I like the look of.

 

I get hit on out on my own but I also like my regular places where people know me, it's more likely to happen where I'm not a regular.

[Mycteria]

Definitely get approached more at night (bars or clubs) when I go out alone. I don't ever go out alone for this reason. In fact the only reason I know this is because of the few times I've gotten to a place before my friends got there and had to deal with the idiotic men at the bar. Now, I don't even go inside until my friends get there.

 

Don't really get approached that much during the day. I think I give off a vibe that I don't want to be messed with. haha

[yongyong]

If you find a woman who came out by herself to a bar or club, you just hit the jackpot.

Do whatever you can to take her home.