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Ladies & Gentlemen, Are you hesitant about dating someone who is into fitness?

soccerrprp

By soccerrprp
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StillReigning Established Member

StillReigning

Posted
Posted
I think there's a natural conflict between the more healthy eaters/lifestyle and the foodies who's life and happiness may revolve around food which unfortunately consequently not the most healthiest since a lot of it is based off dining in restaurants.

 

Personally my life day to day does not revolve around food...it's just a matter of convenience (which is my main problem when trying to lose some weight as I only think about it when the hunger alarm goes off and just want to grab the nearest thing) and it serves as a fuel... I'm the type of person that can eat the same "boring" food almost everyday and it doesn't provide any real pleasure and satisfaction to eat "awesome" tasting food, other than I'd say I love a nice steak and cheese...but I don't think about my next meal or obsess between what i want to eat for that meal.

 

So I'm not sure If it's me or most people love food, but trying to date or have a relationship with someone who ends up being a "foodie" at least to my standards ends up wanting to plan trips around meals/food...knows where all these secretly good places are that make X food and I end up feeling a bit boring because I'm not really interested In food and I'd rather be swimming in the ocean body surfing, diving in the dirt playing paintball, hiking up a hill or a trail leaping over stones to cross a stream, riding bicycles (not with full spandex gear though, hell with that) so I end up just excluding those to "guy" activities.

 

I used to spend a lot of time at the gym when i was younger playing sports and quite a bit in my early 20s and I have a muscular frame but by no means at this time a fitness guru and a bit over the typical gym lifting/cardio (thinking of trying some sort of boxing training regiment). I just try and watch what i eat, eat junk in moderation, and If I'm injury free (weird but I'd have too many to count, I'm a little reckless) I'd rather be doing some sort of physical activity than lounging around at some eatery, stuffing my face all day, feeling bloated and gassy trying to hold in my farts/poo on a date while making kissy kissy with garlic breathe! mmm!

 

So i guess at this point I'm saying it may actually be a nice experience to date a fitness guru instead of someone eating a bunch of junk then complaining because they love food and therefore eat junk and being insecure about their bodies. I know when I don't like my body but I also know what i have to do. It would probably be very motivational, especially since I enjoy nice competition and It would be nice to live life that wasn't centered around food as the main centerpiece.

 

Don't get me wrong, eating out and dining can be fun but I feel pressured when going out at times not to eat more unhealthy or twice as much as her since I'm 6'1 215ish so she doesn't feel badly about herself for me not choosing to eat that way...i feel like a buzzkill around a lot of people because that I'm not salivating over all these potential delicious dishes i could be eating...I'd rather not get fatter most of the time honestly.

 

 

The biggest myth in the world is that you have to eat healthy to be in shape

 

 

I am at 10% bodyfat and can see my Abs if I flex and I'm the biggest foodie you'll ever find. It's all about moderation. I'll go to a specialty restaurant and eat a giant steak or go to a mom and pop place and eat a pizza with my friends. I just love food to death but I also love working out and being in shape to death so I just manage my lifestyle. For example, I know if I pig out on Friday and Saturday, I'm going to eat low calorie totals on sunday and monday to make sure I stay in shape

 

 

You don't need to eat Veggies 24/7 to be in shape

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

Posted
Posted
I am not having a "problem" with this, but wondering if some people think twice about dating someone who is serious about fitness. I am very fit, run, lift, every day and have a metabolism of a furnace, but have had some ladies "suggest" that they may not be able to keep up (I never suggested that they should) and even had one tell me later that she ended it because she didn't think she wanted to be as involved in fitness as I am.

 

Please no fitness war here. I just want to know if someone's dedication to fitness, if it seems more than you do now, is a something you avoid?

You were basically dealing with insecure women who are okay with letting oneself go, and prolly didnt feel like they could hold onto you given your penchant tfor fitness. They know theyll have competition.

 

I definitely want to date an active girl, or a gym girl. I dont do Crossfit, but I love girls who do. They are strong, sexy, but still feminine. All that lifting builds a sexy ass lower body. I enjoy lifting, and would like to share that with someone.

 

Either way, while I dont expect a woman to exactly keep up with me, seeing as Im a guy, Id love her to be able to kick other chicks butts at some activities lol

  • Like 2
StillReigning Established Member

StillReigning

Posted
Posted
Well that depends. FItness and health are one thing to be concerned with, but if you are trying to put it onto everyone around you it's not always the most pleasent thing. I find sometimes it's a control issue with others. THey are so obsessed with themselves that they get bent out of shape about others who don't follow their example or demands. But still, it's all about compromise.

 

 

Oh god I agree 100%

 

 

I'm happy to talk about fitness and give people advice but I never obsess over any of it, talk about food and dieting all the time or look down on others for not being into it as much as I am. I just workout cause I love the appearance of big biceps and round deltoids. Otherwise, I try to be as normal and non-meathead as possible

oaks Established Member

oaks

Posted
Posted
I just want to know if someone's dedication to fitness, if it seems more than you do now, is a something you avoid?

 

If it's an obsession then that's a problem. If it leaves no time for dating then that's a problem. If the other person is going to be preachy about it then that's a problem. Otherwise, I don't see it being an issue.

  • Like 1
iris219 Established Member

iris219

Posted
Posted
I can see how how a woman who wasn't fit and didn't have the best figure would be hesitant to date a man who was very fit. I know I'd rather not date someone who looks much better than me!

 

Why?

I prefer to be the pretty one in relationships. :p It seems to work better that way.

 

For men, there’s social value and an ego boost that goes along with dating the hot girl. There’s no similar reward for women. Most women I know will actively avoid dating men who are better looking than themselves.

 

It’s similar to how some men will feel weird if a woman makes a lot more money than he does. Sure, some men won’t care, and these relationships can certainly work, but I don’t think many men set out to find a woman who earns a lot more (unless he wants a sugar momma).

  • Like 1
StillReigning Established Member

StillReigning

Posted
Posted
I prefer to be the pretty one in relationships. :p It seems to work better that way.

 

For men, there’s social value and an ego boost that goes along with dating the hot girl. There’s no similar reward for women. Most women I know will actively avoid dating men who are better looking than themselves.

 

It’s similar to how some men will feel weird if a woman makes a lot more money than he does. Sure, some men won’t care, and these relationships can certainly work, but I don’t think many men set out to find a woman who earns a lot more (unless he wants a sugar momma).

 

 

I wouldn't assume that every hot guy is a huge player and only wants women as hot as him

 

 

I knew a guy in college who was a 6'3 fitness model and a very nice guy dating a girl who was much less good looking than he was (still cute of course) and they seemed to be very happy together

Ninjainpajamas Established Member

Ninjainpajamas

Posted
Posted
The biggest myth in the world is that you have to eat healthy to be in shape

 

 

I am at 10% bodyfat and can see my Abs if I flex and I'm the biggest foodie you'll ever find. It's all about moderation. I'll go to a specialty restaurant and eat a giant steak or go to a mom and pop place and eat a pizza with my friends. I just love food to death but I also love working out and being in shape to death so I just manage my lifestyle. For example, I know if I pig out on Friday and Saturday, I'm going to eat low calorie totals on sunday and monday to make sure I stay in shape

 

 

You don't need to eat Veggies 24/7 to be in shape

 

You're likely still quite young and I'm no newbie to the fitness world, I'm no reformed couch potato or anything like that..i understand It's about calories and burning them, protein, etc. I've swallowed down cheeseburgers, pizzas, and piles of meat without gaining an ounce of weight...even taking weight gainer when I was young (regret that) and only about 165 pounds at the time because I was doing so much activity.

 

However you're likely working out at such a high rate you burn all of it, most people with age and other life priorities tend to slip naturally into a more sedentary lifestyle...except they continue to eat the same way, If they even worked out much in the first place. Then it becomes about management, and most people aren't familiar with work-outs unless they had some prior knowledge before. It's harder for people to get into some kind of fitness regiment it seems to me when there was no prior sport playing experience or active lifestyle when younger.

 

Also a lot of people don't keep track of any kind of eating schedule/calories and don't realize the amount of calories in food that seem innocently "light" or low cal when in fact they are just as bad or worse.

 

In short, the vast majority people who are legit "foodies" won't be anything like you but struggling with weight loss to a moderate if not great degree.

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted
I am not having a "problem" with this, but wondering if some people think twice about dating someone who is serious about fitness. I am very fit, run, lift, every day and have a metabolism of a furnace, but have had some ladies "suggest" that they may not be able to keep up (I never suggested that they should) and even had one tell me later that she ended it because she didn't think she wanted to be as involved in fitness as I am.

 

Please no fitness war here. I just want to know if someone's dedication to fitness, if it seems more than you do now, is a something you avoid?

 

 

i have always been a fitness minded person of late i let myself go......but when i am in love i have a real desire to get as fit as possible.One

i cant eat very much

i have this excess energy

fitness has been integral to me getting what i want out of life.

when i am fit i am strong and healthy mentally quicker physically unstoppable.

in saying that

i dont expect a potential partner to keep up with me fitness wise. except for slow walks on some beautiful sunset beaches and walking a goofy rottweiler.My physical fitness is a bonus in a relationship for my partner not against my partner....its a mutually beneficial trait....flexibility and endurance can never be bad..i can be flexible enough to cover two people...that is all i am going to say.....deb

StillReigning Established Member

StillReigning

Posted
Posted (edited)
You're likely still quite young and I'm no newbie to the fitness world, I'm no reformed couch potato or anything like that..i understand It's about calories and burning them, protein, etc. I've swallowed down cheeseburgers, pizzas, and piles of meat without gaining an ounce of weight...even taking weight gainer when I was young (regret that) and only about 165 pounds at the time because I was doing so much activity.

 

However you're likely working out at such a high rate you burn all of it, most people with age and other life priorities tend to slip naturally into a more sedentary lifestyle...except they continue to eat the same way, If they even worked out much in the first place. Then it becomes about management, and most people aren't familiar with work-outs unless they had some prior knowledge before. It's harder for people to get into some kind of fitness regiment it seems to me when there was no prior sport playing experience or active lifestyle when younger.

 

Also a lot of people don't keep track of any kind of eating schedule/calories and don't realize the amount of calories in food that seem innocently "light" or low cal when in fact they are just as bad or worse.

 

In short, the vast majority people who are legit "foodies" won't be anything like you but struggling with weight loss to a moderate if not great degree.

 

 

 

Well, I know guys who are 35 and similar to me who stay in great shape because they manage their lifestyles in a similar way. You're exactly correct in that it's very important to make sure that you're activity levels remain at a high level and that you manage your lifestyle so you're not pigging out everyday (I restrict my eating totals except for friday/saturday/sunday)

 

 

It's all about working out and eating in moderation. That's how you stay in shape and still enjoy quality food. My point is that it's about the calorie totals not necessarily about eating healthy. Lots of folks in small towns are fat while having a meat and potatos/veggies diet

Edited by StillReigning
kaylan Established Member

kaylan

Posted
Posted
I prefer to be the pretty one in relationships. :p It seems to work better that way.

 

For men, there’s social value and an ego boost that goes along with dating the hot girl. There’s no similar reward for women. Most women I know will actively avoid dating men who are better looking than themselves.

 

It’s similar to how some men will feel weird if a woman makes a lot more money than he does. Sure, some men won’t care, and these relationships can certainly work, but I don’t think many men set out to find a woman who earns a lot more (unless he wants a sugar momma).

Really? Because Ive come across a number of women who get an ego boost and love showing off a hot guy. As long as they feel they can keep him, theres no issue. The women who avoid good looking men are the insecure girls who dont think they can hold a hot guy.

  • Like 1
iris219 Established Member

iris219

Posted
Posted
Really? Because Ive come across a number of women who get an ego boost and love showing off a hot guy. As long as they feel they can keep him, theres no issue. The women who avoid good looking men are the insecure girls who dont think they can hold a hot guy.

 

I don't know women who like to show off hot guys. Sounds like something younger girls do.

 

Personally, I don't find myself attracted to very hot men. I prefer men who are average or a bit above, so what do I need a super hot guy for? If I got to know him, maybe I'd be more inclined, but I never scan a crowd for the hottest guy (even though I'm generally considered pretty).

 

There are reasons why you rarely see couples where the man is more attractive than the woman.

rach24680 Established Member

rach24680

Posted
Posted
I am not having a "problem" with this, but wondering if some people think twice about dating someone who is serious about fitness. I am very fit, run, lift, every day and have a metabolism of a furnace, but have had some ladies "suggest" that they may not be able to keep up (I never suggested that they should) and even had one tell me later that she ended it because she didn't think she wanted to be as involved in fitness as I am.

 

Please no fitness war here. I just want to know if someone's dedication to fitness, if it seems more than you do now, is a something you avoid?

 

my ex was into fitness, and i swear i'll never get involved with anyone so into it now. He bugged the life out of me talking about how much he was lifting and different types of pullups and stuff. He seemed like he only cared about how he looked and wouldn't even eat and takeaways or anything.

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

Posted
Posted (edited)
I don't know women who like to show off hot guys. Sounds like something younger girls do.

 

Personally, I don't find myself attracted to very hot men. I prefer men who are average or a bit above, so what do I need a super hot guy for? If I got to know him, maybe I'd be more inclined, but I never scan a crowd for the hottest guy (even though I'm generally considered pretty).

 

There are reasons why you rarely see couples where the man is more attractive than the woman.

^Sounds like a case of people only going after those in their league because they dont feel they can hold someone higher. Im not surprised that I only ever hear average and lower men and women saying they arent into people who are empirically sexy (aka hot). Yet I see average men and women always drooling over the hot ones, and being bedded easily by them if the hot ones choose to do so. Im just saying, the only time I have ever heard a girl say "6 packs arent sexy to me, I like pudge" or something similar...she ended up being a bit out of shape herself and rather average. But then I see her in the bar later with a dude whos obviously conventionally attractive.

 

And no, its not just a younger people thing. Maybe its just your location. Arent you in a spot that has literally no men to begin with? That might explain why the women are just happy to find a decent guy in general and are insecure about the hot ones, given the competition she will have.

 

And your assertion about couples is false. Plenty of people here will tell you they see guys with girls they feel he can do better than all the time.

Edited by kaylan
RiverRunning Established Member

RiverRunning

Posted
Posted

Is it possible that you're coming on too strong with the exercise bit right out the gate - on dating profiles, during the initial dates? If asked about your hobbies, I don't think there's anything wrong with tossing in, "I like going bike-riding..." in a list of other interests.

 

If you're meeting people and you launch into, "I lift weights, go rock climbing, swim, run races..." they're likely going to be far more intimidated with that.

 

Fitness and food play huge roles in how we view ourselves and others. Eating habits might be right up there with politics and religion in determining the success of a relationship. They're very important to people.

 

Especially as women get older and they don't look like they're in their 20s anymore, the pressure to compete intensifies. My first thought if a guy is really into fitness is likely to be, "He's going to start pressuring me about my weight, my eating habits, my exercise habits." A blossoming relationship starts to look more like a prison.

 

I think that maybe releasing more and more information about your fitness interest, piece-by-piece, may do far more good. It comes off as more palatable, and women may start to understand you're not looking for someone who's as athletic as you are.

Disenchantedly Yours Established Member

Disenchantedly Yours

Posted
Posted
The biggest myth in the world is that you have to eat healthy to be in shape

 

I am at 10% bodyfat and can see my Abs if I flex and I'm the biggest foodie you'll ever find. It's all about moderation. I'll go to a specialty restaurant and eat a giant steak or go to a mom and pop place and eat a pizza with my friends. I just love food to death but I also love working out and being in shape to death so I just manage my lifestyle. For example, I know if I pig out on Friday and Saturday, I'm going to eat low calorie totals on sunday and monday to make sure I stay in shape

 

 

You don't need to eat Veggies 24/7 to be in shape

 

If I pigged out all day Friday and Saturday, two days of low calorie eating isn't going to help me that much. Some of us DO have to watch very carefully what we eat. If I ate like you did, that wouldn't work for my body. I would gain weight so fast.

Disenchantedly Yours Established Member

Disenchantedly Yours

Posted
Posted
You were basically dealing with insecure women who are okay with letting oneself go, and prolly didnt feel like they could hold onto you given your penchant tfor fitness. They know theyll have competition.

 

I definitely want to date an active girl, or a gym girl. I dont do Crossfit, but I love girls who do. They are strong, sexy, but still feminine. All that lifting builds a sexy ass lower body. I enjoy lifting, and would like to share that with someone.

 

Either way, while I dont expect a woman to exactly keep up with me, seeing as Im a guy, Id love her to be able to kick other chicks butts at some activities lol

 

Kaylan, it really doesn't sound like that at all. He said he was dating women that were in shape or were including more healthy lifestyles. Now they probably where insecure about their bodies but most women are on some level, in varying degrees.

 

We all know that most men want super fit, naturally beautiful, perfect breasts and ass women that don't age. But most women aren't that.

 

The OP sounds actually like one of the most reasonable men I have heard on the whole body thing to date on LS. He is looking for women that are active and healthy but he doesn't expect them to be these perfect little gym bunny, bouncy breasts, idols.

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted
I just want to know if someone's dedication to fitness, if it seems more than you do now, is a something you avoid?

 

Dated a lady like that, far more into fitness than my endurance cycling bent at the time, and I supported her dedication to her personal health and fitness goals. I learned a lot.

 

If I were to meet someone similar at this late date, no prejudice. I'd do exactly the same thing. Share and support. If she were compatible, she'd do the same wrt my passions in life. Otherwise, next.

  • Like 3
Maeva Member

Maeva

Posted
Posted (edited)

I just WISH I could find a man who would hit the gym for squats & deadlifts with me!!! :love:

I would actually be hesitant to date someone who's NOT into fitness (either any sport or weight lifting) because fitness is actually a big part of my life... My ex got into lifting at about the same time than I did and training with him was great. If my partner is into lifting, I can brag to him about my squat PR and stuff :laugh:

 

I do not think I am obsessed, but I guess some people would say I am. I lift weights 5x a week, add some cardio and circuit training in there... I also am concerned about my eating habits (I do eat desserts and burgers once in a while though; and will drink as well, it's not like I live on chicken, eggs and protein powder) and I just can't be with someone who wants to go to the restaurant 3x a week, it's not working for me. And the other person would probably be bothered as well. I mean, I do keep track of my calories intake, carbs, protein, etc... Some people might think it's crazy but that's just how I am :)

Edited by Maeva
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soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
Is it possible that you're coming on too strong with the exercise bit right out the gate - on dating profiles, during the initial dates? If asked about your hobbies, I don't think there's anything wrong with tossing in, "I like going bike-riding..." in a list of other interests.

 

If you're meeting people and you launch into, "I lift weights, go rock climbing, swim, run races..." they're likely going to be far more intimidated with that.

 

Fitness and food play huge roles in how we view ourselves and others. Eating habits might be right up there with politics and religion in determining the success of a relationship. They're very important to people.

 

Especially as women get older and they don't look like they're in their 20s anymore, the pressure to compete intensifies. My first thought if a guy is really into fitness is likely to be, "He's going to start pressuring me about my weight, my eating habits, my exercise habits." A blossoming relationship starts to look more like a prison.

 

I think that maybe releasing more and more information about your fitness interest, piece-by-piece, may do far more good. It comes off as more palatable, and women may start to understand you're not looking for someone who's as athletic as you are.

 

Is this directed at me? If so, no. I don't mention my expectations as to what level of fitness I would like my potential partners to engage in. I don't. They ask me what I do to keep fit and I tell them. The conversation regarding fitness, etc. is always short. Perhaps the brevity of the conversation in this area is an indicator of some insecurity? Duh, I should, at this point probably say something like, "but I'm not looking for someone who can necessarily do what I do in terms of keeping healthy, fit."

 

And oh, some have mentioned diet...I am also a vegetarian. In my neck of the woods, there aren't many vegetarians. So, perhaps my enthusiasm for fitness and diet is a slight negative at times...

Edited by soccerrprp
sandflea Established Member

sandflea

Posted
Posted

Well, I work out daily for stress relief and to keep everything in check, so - no, I don't have a problem with it. I do have an issue with someone who is extremely competitive tho. Regardless, I think it's a good compliment to, say, happy hours...

Disenchantedly Yours Established Member

Disenchantedly Yours

Posted
Posted
I just WISH I could find a man who would hit the gym for squats & deadlifts with me!!! :love:

I would actually be hesitant to date someone who's NOT into fitness (either any sport or weight lifting) because fitness is actually a big part of my life... My ex got into lifting at about the same time than I did and training with him was great. If my partner is into lifting, I can brag to him about my squat PR and stuff :laugh:

 

I do not think I am obsessed, but I guess some people would say I am. I lift weights 5x a week, add some cardio and circuit training in there... I also am concerned about my eating habits (I do eat desserts and burgers once in a while though; and will drink as well, it's not like I live on chicken, eggs and protein powder) and I just can't be with someone who wants to go to the restaurant 3x a week, it's not working for me. And the other person would probably be bothered as well. I mean, I do keep track of my calories intake, carbs, protein, etc... Some people might think it's crazy but that's just how I am :)

 

It's just a lifestyle thing. It's not "crazy". When I was younger, I dated this one guy who certainly had different eating habits then I did. I gained some weight with him! It's hard to be in a relationship with someone that has different idea about what to eat sometimes. I heard a lot of girls that had my same experience. Now that I am older now though, I manage it better now so if the guy I am seeing eats differently from me, I know how to balance better between what I can eat.

 

A girlfriend of mine is really into health and her husband isn't. He's this tall beanpole that likes to eat and he as a bit of a belly. She is a gym director and works out and is a vegatarian. She will make him meat dishes but eat her own thing. It works for them. Some people can do that, some can't. Actually seeing how she incorporated their different habits in their life together helped me to see how I could manage this issue better with men that may have different eating habits from me.

 

Maeva, you should meet guys at your gym!

  • Like 1
Maeva Member

Maeva

Posted
Posted

^^

Maybe I should! I've actually met some guys at my gym in the past, but since I've moved and switched gyms... nothing so far ;)

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