Starnette83 Posted July 17, 2004 Posted July 17, 2004 My bf is weird, one moment he treats me like he cares alot and then he blows me off,w hats up with this behavior??? anyways i dont know..ive been with him 3 years and 7 months and he recently started saying he Loves me again, after not saying iit for like 5 months... but i dunno ive found hes given his # to girls who have approached him...is this a big deal? and didnt say he has a gf... hes also called them..su[pposedly nothing happened ive talked to guys on the phone too ..but it was just cuz i was trying to get over him..so ive done the same, so i have no right to be mad then right???? ugh i dunno tho cuz i have treated him right, he always known i love him and ive always done things for him..but with him its different ..he stopped loving me at one point and broke my heart, hes done mean things to me (like no present on my 20th bday even though he has 2 jobs) now im 21 and hes 20.. anyways i hate this already..i dont think hes going to change yet i love him and sometimes hes so great with me...and i have like a love hate thing with him...how do i deal?
jw32802 Posted July 17, 2004 Posted July 17, 2004 STOP ALL CONTACT WITH HIM. He needs to see life without you. I dont care WHAT you think about "oh ill miss him, oh we should talk, blah blah". So many of us make the mistake of "trying to make it work" when the other doesnt want to try. You've got to make him see that you respect yourself enough to get out if you're not happy! You are basically CHOOSING UNHAPPINESS if you stay with him right? would you respect someone who chose unhappiness on PURPOSE? I swear, my boyfriend was the same way, one day distant, the next day "i love you!" and it went on for TWO YEARS. I finally just said no more. He will contact you i promise but break it off NOW. make him wonder about losing you. please, please do it. if you keep up with the game, he will keep doing this. he needs to think you're moving on
Author Starnette83 Posted July 17, 2004 Author Posted July 17, 2004 Thank you Jw, its like when u tell me this its like i agree with u...even though my heart is in denial and i swear reading this made me wanna cry cuz reality sux, and the only way to gain any respect is to let go of him, but ive done this so many times and i hate to have to do it again, cuz ive failed every time, and here i go again...but then again..i am sick of it even though i love this guy like no other and id give my all..but ure right..and if he does go and call one of these girls while we break up it will break my heart even more but well i shouldnt care about that...i should let him go experiment with other girl and maybe then he will find what hes been looking for or maybe realize what he lost..which was me..it just hurts me so much to do this..i hate it so bad...and it makes me feel lonlier then what i already feel..why does thsi have to be this way??
jw32802 Posted July 17, 2004 Posted July 17, 2004 You know what, the thought that goes thru my head is the same as yours....if i dont talk to him, he will be with this other girl.... BUT you must push him to her! If you have a viable relationship with him, then let him play this out. If you 2 really love each other, he will come back to you. everytime i think about my ex w/ his new girl i think, maybe this is BETTER than if he never dated anyone else at all. Sometimes when we were together and he'd take me for granted, id sometimes fantasize about us breaking up and him dating again ONLY BECAUSE i KNEW i am so much better than all those other girls and i felt like he should go out and see whats out there to REMEMBER AND APPRECIATE me. Now i have that chance. Instead of thinking about it in a bad way, think of it like this.....because hes not with you, he probably thinks of you MORE THAN HE EVER DID BEFORE even if he's with her, because if you're so much better, hes going to compare you and hes going to miss you. DO IT. break it off but do it lovingly. Just say "listen i love you but I want to be by myself for awhile because i cant deal w/ this anymore" or something like that.
Author Starnette83 Posted July 17, 2004 Author Posted July 17, 2004 Jw its just so hard to do...ahh i was thinking right now and crying at the same time cuz he hasnt called me today cuz we got in some stupid argument last night..and he told me he would call but hasnt..anyways i thought about it and took a sip of alcohol...i realized that if i have to drink alcohol every night when i cry then i rather be an alcoholic then be a lvoe addict, i have to break it off...ive been feeling this way since last year and i was always so weak and kept going back but i dont want to keep goig in the same circle, and as much as it would hurt to see him with another girl and maybe even have sex, i think its better then me being unhappy like i am right now,, ill be unhappy without him but eventaully it might fade but as lobng as i am with him my unhappiness will only continue..thanku jw this sux tho
transfer Posted July 17, 2004 Posted July 17, 2004 OPEN YOUR EYES!!!!. sorry for being blunt...same story over and over again. YOU people need have self resepct and move on...i can almost guarantee you that there will be many more that WILL treat you better. Not play with your emotions and be a MAN. In todays society thats hard to find. A person who speaks there mind and doesn't keep people around as a security blanket. LOVE YOURSELF, RESPECT YOURSELF, BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.
faux Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 It sounds as though it is time for you to live the single life and lose this guy. He lies to you, does not show you the amount of affection that you feel is bare minimum, and is handing his number out to other girls and saying he is single. I'm constantly amazed at how some women can put themselves into such situations, where there are so many obvious signs to leave the relationship, yet there they remain. And if you do manage to push him away and have absolutely nothing to do with him... Please do not take him back. From what I gather, it is not possible for him to change unless you give him a year, perhaps two. I wouldn't give someone like that a decade.
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