Matt145 Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I just wondered this because im kind of young im 17, and i split up with my ex of 2 years not long ago. I work at a bar on weekends and a lot of the girls who come in end up hooking up with people and there all really nice looking girls. I didnt know it was like this, i didnt know girls at 18-19 go out just to hook up. My older friends who work at the bar told me thats how it is most girls are like that, and they said its hard to have a girlfriend at 18-19 who will stay loyal to you because of all the male attention they get and girls love attention ( my ex cheated on me because of attention aswell ) . So what would you guys say is an ideal age to get with into a relationship?
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I wouldn't jump into a relationship If I were you until you really find someone you feel like having one with in general terms. However from an older guys perspective I wouldn't jump into a relationship until about 22 or 23, until then most relationships are going to be quite juvenile and basically not last. If I were you I'd just observe and learn about women...taking into consideration that these are the kinds of girls hooking up because they are going to bars...not all of them are that way and a lot that aren't like that aren't going to be in a bar because of that environment. A lot of the girls you see as "wild" will be surprisingly not, and the girls you think of as "nice" may surprise you as not being so conservative as you thought. So I would also not suggest getting with the type of women at the bar for a relationship as many are going to amongst the most insecure, which is why they need this kind of validation from men...don't be fooled, they are going to want potential and a relationship out of these guys it's only as they learn and get older will they realize they're not going about it the right way. Right now it's time for you to build your knowledge and skill in the social setting and with women...think of it as a learning experience, understand and figure it out, see what's going on around you and date different girls without jumping into a relationship just to have fun and see what kind of women you like and you don't. You'll learn what women like and which ones can and can't be trusted, you'll get an idea for the different types. All women aren't the same like guys in general terms, and they're pretty dynamic and moody and change attitude and opinions like the seasons. There's a lot for you to learn so just give yourself time, not only to enjoy being single and not wasting time and energy in a relationship that's mild and filled with a lot of immature games...albeit it's a learning experience in itself. For a relationship go out of the bar scene. Women are pretty loyal however once invested in general, so I'll be honest with you...women tend to cheat on particularly nice and passive guys, guys that are the comfort zone and pushovers, just safe and available, you were probably that guy so you should be more aware of how you interact with women. Work on your first impressions, become the kind of guy you want to be and that doesn't mean just to attract women...respect yourself.
Author Matt145 Posted August 26, 2012 Author Posted August 26, 2012 I wouldn't jump into a relationship If I were you until you really find someone you feel like having one with in general terms. However from an older guys perspective I wouldn't jump into a relationship until about 22 or 23, until then most relationships are going to be quite juvenile and basically not last. If I were you I'd just observe and learn about women...taking into consideration that these are the kinds of girls hooking up because they are going to bars...not all of them are that way and a lot that aren't like that aren't going to be in a bar because of that environment. A lot of the girls you see as "wild" will be surprisingly not, and the girls you think of as "nice" may surprise you as not being so conservative as you thought. So I would also not suggest getting with the type of women at the bar for a relationship as many are going to amongst the most insecure, which is why they need this kind of validation from men...don't be fooled, they are going to want potential and a relationship out of these guys it's only as they learn and get older will they realize they're not going about it the right way. Right now it's time for you to build your knowledge and skill in the social setting and with women...think of it as a learning experience, understand and figure it out, see what's going on around you and date different girls without jumping into a relationship just to have fun and see what kind of women you like and you don't. You'll learn what women like and which ones can and can't be trusted, you'll get an idea for the different types. All women aren't the same like guys in general terms, and they're pretty dynamic and moody and change attitude and opinions like the seasons. There's a lot for you to learn so just give yourself time, not only to enjoy being single and not wasting time and energy in a relationship that's mild and filled with a lot of immature games...albeit it's a learning experience in itself. For a relationship go out of the bar scene. Women are pretty loyal however once invested in general, so I'll be honest with you...women tend to cheat on particularly nice and passive guys, guys that are the comfort zone and pushovers, just safe and available, you were probably that guy so you should be more aware of how you interact with women. Work on your first impressions, become the kind of guy you want to be and that doesn't mean just to attract women...respect yourself. Thanks for that answer ninja really cleared things up for me:)
RiverRunning Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I just wondered this because im kind of young im 17, and i split up with my ex of 2 years not long ago. I work at a bar on weekends and a lot of the girls who come in end up hooking up with people and there all really nice looking girls. I didnt know it was like this, i didnt know girls at 18-19 go out just to hook up. My older friends who work at the bar told me thats how it is most girls are like that, and they said its hard to have a girlfriend at 18-19 who will stay loyal to you because of all the male attention they get and girls love attention ( my ex cheated on me because of attention aswell ) . So what would you guys say is an ideal age to get with into a relationship? Considering your age and your general ideas/attitudes about women, I'd say you're too young to be in a relationship. Plenty of guys at 18 - 19 go out to hook-up as well. Plenty of men/women in their 20s, 30s, and so on. No, it's unlikely that in your teens, you're going to find a long-term, even lifelong partnership. Considering you just came out of a break-up, though, I don't think that's a bad thing. And if you're scouting for women in bars, don't be surprised if you don't exactly end up with the church girl who's waiting on her future husband. If you want something long-term, start looking around colleges and universities - plenty of partiers, but scores of people pair off and eventually marry from college relationships. Look at religious institutions. Get involved in an extracurricular (which isn't just a dating group). Be on the look-out for women who need a lot of external validation: if she has low self-esteem, don't be surprised when she jumps to the next guy.
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