Starnette83 Posted July 17, 2004 Posted July 17, 2004 Hi to everyone who is reading[font=arial][/font][color=blue][/color] Well ive been with my b/f for 3 years and 7 months and it hasnt always been great, actually we have had some extreme rough time, alot of small breakups and even one that lasted a month 1/2 but we somehow always got back, either by him coming back to me or me going back to him.... Things had recently been going good between us, my bday came and i had lots of fun, he got me 3 gifts that i loved that i never expected him to get or spend so much on me... but before that- like 2 days before my bday i found out he was talking to some girl named Crystal, and he gave his # to her ..she approached him supposedly, and well she did call him alot...and i was mad because he gave hiis # out and he didnt say he had a gf, also cuz he also once called her, even though they arent talking anymore, i still feel off cuz i dont think i can trust him when he does this... then i found a # in his room of some girl named Katie, and i was like "what is this?" but playfully..and he told me it was some girl who gave him his # while he was driving, and i said .."ok..did u call her?" and he said yes that he called her but nothing happened, but i ask "Why do u call???" and he cant even answer it and thinks its okay to do that, and he makes a joke of having friends that are girls..im like ":ya ure gonna have a friend who u met by her approaching u cuz she likes u??" anyways i didnt wanna blow it up cuz we had a good day overall but it BUGS ME!! how can i eblieve him anymore, now i see were all my bad gut feelings come from... I love him ALOT..ive been with him this long but i dunno..i know he sais he hastn cheated that the most it came to is talking on the phone but dont u think that this can lead to more??? can u trsut someone who lies to u, but later when u somehow find out he explains to u and tells u how it is...I just dont know what to do, its really frustrating (im 21, hes 20)..i love him and yes im so scared to be without him, it would hurt a great deal cuz hes basically soemoen i shared EVERYTHING with, hes like my best friend and the only person i can think of to hang out and just laugh, have fun and who knows me compeltely.. Yet im so broken inside already that soemtimes i cant even recognize who i am, i feel so ashamed sometimes, cuz i dont think i deserve this yet i have no self esteem anymore...im so consumed of how i look cuz sometimes i think that mayeb if i looked better this wouldnt be happening, or maybe if he saw i got attnetion from other guys he woyuldnt do this or maybe if i was prettier he wouldnt want another girl...it sux..i dont like thinking this way... Please help, anyone in the same situation, what would u do if the person u loved did this??? how would u go about it??should i even bother saying anything anymore???
aFighter Posted July 17, 2004 Posted July 17, 2004 You don't have a problem, he does. No one is forcing him to take those numbers and call those women. He wouldn't be calling if he wasn't sniffing after something. I was in your situation before & one of my ex gf's was doing that except it was texting all the time on her mobile phone. Even when I was with her she be there texting away & I'd tell her to turn the damn thing off, bugged the hell outta me and I told her that it made me feel like I wasn't worth talking to or something. In the heel of the hunt anyway she wouldn't quit it [most of these "friends" were guys she met in those chat rooms] So on day I just said look I'm tired of this ****, you know how I feel yet you still do it. You don't respect me or my opinion so good luck to you & that was it.
Author Starnette83 Posted July 17, 2004 Author Posted July 17, 2004 thanxz afighter, its just sometimes i blame myself for what is happening or think "maybe he does this cuz i nag too much, or maybe hes just being a normal guy"...but then i cant help but feel this way...it kills me..it really does!!! i feel like im a little itty bitty person, i really have lost most of my self worth, and im starting to feel like this is not worth it... i think that by being with him it will jus tlead to more disrespect and heart break and i dont thinki can deal with more, im so young and it just sux so bad...im tired of thinking "what is he doing" when im not aroun...i want soemoen who i can trust when im not around them, that i dont have to worry of them being with other chicks..buit with my bf i do worry and its a sickening feeling
Megan5P Posted July 17, 2004 Posted July 17, 2004 He's playing you big time. Anytime a guy says women/girls approach him and give him their phone numbers is full of *!@#. He's lying about that. If he was a decent guy and respected you he wouldn't be collecting other girls phone numbers. Dump him and move on to someone who isn't out to feed his ego.
sleeping beauty Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 I think he has no RESPECT for you and doesn't really love you. If he did you wouldn't be feeling like this. Hes just holding on to you until he finds something better. OPEN YOUR EYES and find a real man.
Dinny Posted July 18, 2004 Posted July 18, 2004 Starnette83: THANKFULLY YOU ARE SEEING THAT THIS GUY AIN'T TREATING YOU RIGHT!!!!! You have every reason to doubt this guy so go with your instinct. You are sooo young and so is he and you have been togther an awfully long time even though you are both so young. I think that the time is not right for you both............you will do so much maturing, finding yourself and your independence in your 20's that I think that has to be done before you settle down and you certainly don't want to settle for this treatment. .......so honey! tell him you want time out and he may not like it but its got to be done!!! My sister went out with her boyfriend from the age of 14......she married him when she was 20 and now that they are in their late 30's they are finding that they were too young to settle down and have nothing in common now and I doubt they'll make it into their 40's together!!! I was nearly married at 21 but called it off cos I knew there was something missing and now I'm in my mid - thirties I look back and I think I have changed sooo much over the last 10 years that I did the right thing. So darlin.........let him go........go and have lots of fun with new people and "what will be will be!!!!!!!!!" Take care
Author Starnette83 Posted July 19, 2004 Author Posted July 19, 2004 thank you all, i have broken up with him and he was okay with it, even though i couldnt help but break down in tears seeing how he was okay with it, but i know it was the best thing..and how he was whatever with it shows me that its better this way, its just hard to cope because i keep thinking about him..its so hard... sometimes i just feel so alone and scared like ill never find anyone who made me feel the way he did when we were together in happy moods, but well i try to avoid this thinking by remembering how much he has hurt me and how the girls he talked to while with me and how i told him and hed make false promises cuz he wouldnt change... i just wonder how long will it take me to gget over him? it was a long time i spent with him and we were eachother 1st, hes the first serious guy ever and i dunno...everyday seems like a struggle
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