paperboy48 Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 went out with some friends, got buzzed, got emotional. Went to my ex wife's house, with hope I might be able to talk with her. Turns out the boyfriend was over while my kids were sleeping upstairs (I might add). Always, I was able to peek in the family room window....saw my ex and her boyfriend start to get it on. Then I think they went upstairs. He good thing is they were only gone for about 15 minutes....so he's not that great. Also, in a way...it kind of turned me on... And I think it might help solidify closure for me... 2
CptSaveAho Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 went out with some friends, got buzzed, got emotional. Went to my ex wife's house, with hope I might be able to talk with her. Turns out the boyfriend was over while my kids were sleeping upstairs (I might add). Always, I was able to peek in the family room window....saw my ex and her boyfriend start to get it on. Then I think they went upstairs. He good thing is they were only gone for about 15 minutes....so he's not that great. Also, in a way...it kind of turned me on... And I think it might help solidify closure for me... WoW... You have serious issues. Creeping on an ex and then getting turned on by it. Pretty sure not only is this morally wrong, its also illegal. I hear therapy and pills work. 2
Author paperboy48 Posted August 26, 2012 Author Posted August 26, 2012 WoW... You have serious issues. Creeping on an ex and then getting turned on by it. Pretty sure not only is this morally wrong, its also illegal. I hear therapy and pills work. Because I am the only one in the wold who has ever peeped on someone... 2
TaraMaiden Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 it's the 'who' that counts... that's crazy behaviour.... 1
oracle Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 WoW... You have serious issues. Creeping on an ex and then getting turned on by it. Pretty sure not only is this morally wrong, its also illegal. I hear therapy and pills work. Oh please. Id prolly get turned on too in a way. Love how everyone likes to paint everyone else with their idea of whats morally acceptable for a turn on. Ever heard of a cuckold? There is a segment of the sexual population out there that gets turned on by watching someone else screw their spouse. Granted the peeping isn't legal and im not contesting that side of it. But maybe this does close the door. which is good. In the last week that I have been here I have been watching people piss and moan and pine over and over and not do anything to actually start to move on. And they post over again when people are telling them good advice and they are agreeing with it then they post again a day later. Sometimes people need real blunt in your face closure scenarios. Don't listen to this guy, you don't need "pills" 1
KatZee Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Because I am the only one in the wold who has ever peeped on someone... No, you're not the first.... Nor will you be the last.... But that behavior is reserved for stalkers, creeps and weirdos. Normal people don't act this way. 1
Author paperboy48 Posted August 26, 2012 Author Posted August 26, 2012 No, you're not the first.... Nor will you be the last.... But that behavior is reserved for stalkers, creeps and weirdos. Normal people don't act this way. I realize that and I am a normal person....I was not expecting him to be there (while my kids were there) given the fact they do not know about him yet. Now that I think about it, I think the reason I did it was to see if she would go upstairs with him while kids were there. They are 8 years old, say they had a bad dream and went into to her room, they would see this guy (they don't know) in there mothers bed. What I did was not right, but neither is doing a guy (the kids have never met) 10 feet from your kids bedroom..
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 First, she didn't do anything wrong. Second, a guy who creeps and stalks is not a guy who should be judging the appropriateness of other peoples' behavior. 2
KatZee Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 They are 8 years old, say they had a bad dream and went into to her room, they would see this guy (they don't know) in there mothers bed. What I did was not right, but neither is doing a guy (the kids have never met) 10 feet from your kids bedroom.. You're trying to justify your behavior, but she did nothing wrong. Did you expect her to remain celibate for the rest of her life just because she has children? These things are going to happen. She's going to date new men. She's going to have sex with new men. And yes, that sex is going to happen in her bedroom. You call this guy her new boyfriend. So he's not some random fling. She's actively dating this person. I'm sure she will introduce this man all in due time. You don't have to stand outside her window watching her have sex with this new man... you're the ex. What she does, WHO she does... is her business. 1
oracle Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 No, you're not the first.... Nor will you be the last.... But that behavior is reserved for stalkers, creeps and weirdos. Normal people don't act this way. Here is a bible quote for you... Let he who is without sin cast the first stone
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Here is a bible quote for you... Let he who is without sin cast the first stone Are you suggesting that the peeping OP should have cast a stone through the living room window? 2
CptSaveAho Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) Oh please. Id prolly get turned on too in a way. Love how everyone likes to paint everyone else with their idea of whats morally acceptable for a turn on. Ever heard of a cuckold? There is a segment of the sexual population out there that gets turned on by watching someone else screw their spouse. Granted the peeping isn't legal and im not contesting that side of it. But maybe this does close the door. which is good. In the last week that I have been here I have been watching people piss and moan and pine over and over and not do anything to actually start to move on. And they post over again when people are telling them good advice and they are agreeing with it then they post again a day later. Sometimes people need real blunt in your face closure scenarios. Don't listen to this guy, you don't need "pills" Ive read a few of your posts too, you are out there as well. As for moving on or getting "closure" paperboy is NO WHERE near getting "closure" with this behavior. If you really think you get closure from this, you have serious issues. I dont get closure from watching my ex make out or bang someone else. Nor do I get turned on by it. I get closure by focusing on my own life and my own behaviors. PS -OP If I was dating someone like you, it would be a relief for that relationship to be over based on the judgement of your actions NOW. Edited August 27, 2012 by CptSaveAho
oracle Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Ive read a few of your posts too, you are out there as well. As for moving on or getting "closure" paperboy is NO WHERE near getting "closure" with this behavior. If you really think you get closure from this, you have serious issues. I dont get closure from watching my ex make out or bang someone else. Nor do I get turned on by it. I get closure by focusing on my own life and my own behaviors. PS -OP If I was dating someone like you, it would be a relief for that relationship to be over based on the judgement of your actions NOW. Why does everyone think there is a set way on how things need to work? Its always disappointing to see rigid narrow minded views. Right and Wrong? Look how much that has flutuated in the last 100 years let alone the last 2000. Right and wrong for the most part is a grey area that is shaped by social constructs. Never forget, we are nothing more than glorified animals. Society is merely a thin veil that is dependant upon a specific set of circumstances and criteria being met. It can easily crumble away to nothing. The way I look at things it by looking at the raw physical human emotions and trying to understand how our perceptions and lack of control over these cause certain circumstances or end results. Closure doesn't happen over night based on one event, but its one more nail in the cofffin of a dead scenario. Id rather be out there, then one of the little sheep hiding in the middle of the herd. 1
Author paperboy48 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 You call this guy her new boyfriend. So he's not some random fling. She's actively dating this person. I'm sure she will introduce this man all in due time In my opinion, the cart is a bit before the horse here....hmm introduce the guy as mommy's boyfriend and then if the kids walk in they understand seeing a man in mommy's bed. Or, let's not tell the kids mommy has a boyfriend (because she does not have the guts) and take the risk of them walking in on her wife a man in her bed..
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Id rather be out there, then one of the little sheep hiding in the middle of the herd. News flash: Having boundaries and respect (self respect included) does not make one a "sheep." Not having them does not make one an interesting free thinker. 2
BewitchedandBothered Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 went out with some friends, got buzzed, got emotional. Went to my ex wife's house, with hope I might be able to talk with her. Turns out the boyfriend was over while my kids were sleeping upstairs (I might add). Always, I was able to peek in the family room window....saw my ex and her boyfriend start to get it on. Then I think they went upstairs. He good thing is they were only gone for about 15 minutes....so he's not that great. Also, in a way...it kind of turned me on... And I think it might help solidify closure for me... Dirty birdie 1
oracle Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) News flash: Having boundaries and respect (self respect included) does not make one a "sheep." Not having them does not make one an interesting free thinker. You said it not me Edited August 27, 2012 by oracle
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Originally Posted by Mme. Chaucer News flash: Having boundaries and respect (self respect included) does not make one a "sheep." Not having them does not make one an interesting free thinker. You said it not me Hm. I know I said it, and not you. Is there some veiled meaning in this that I am missing?
Trimmer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Id rather be out there, then one of the little sheep hiding in the middle of the herd. Heh, but out there for the OP meant "out there in the flower bed, peeking through the living room window, timing how long until they finished up..." Please tell me that in your flowing metaphor, "out there" means something a little more forward-looking and life affirming... You stuck around? Yeah, if it was a little ambiguous up until then, that's the point where it got clearly squicky for me...
johan Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I think curiosity and voyeurism are understandable. It doesn't really make it right, but in those circumstances it would be hard to resist.
Trimmer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I think curiosity and voyeurism are understandable. It doesn't really make it right, but in those circumstances it would be hard to resist. Oh, I agree - I was quite nosy while my ex and I were breaking up. And as gross as it sounds, I will admit that I can even relate to getting turned on by it. You see someone - who you knew in a sexual context - being sexual again, and it triggers those memories and feelings. I get that. I suppose that we'll all have different boundaries, but to me, the basic level of curiosity is understandable and maybe even unavoidable, but staying around to note the elapsed time is like picking a scab. YMMV...
LostJustLost Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 (partial quote cuz yall been quoted all over the page already) Also, in a way...it kind of turned me on... And I think it might help solidify closure for me... *trying to keep a straight face* I think it might at that. Seriously, I truly hope it does.
KatZee Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 In my opinion, the cart is a bit before the horse here....hmm introduce the guy as mommy's boyfriend and then if the kids walk in they understand seeing a man in mommy's bed. Or, let's not tell the kids mommy has a boyfriend (because she does not have the guts) and take the risk of them walking in on her wife a man in her bed.. I don't think it has anything to do with "not having guts." That's the issue with having kids, and now being a single parent and trying to date. You don't just introduce your kids to every Joe Schmo that walks through your door. That's dysfunctional to the children, children need stability. I'm sure your ex-wife is smart and has a lock on the door or has taught her children to knock before you enter. My friend is single with a child and she has dated and had multiple men at her home while her child is there. It happens. But the guy ONLY gets introduced to the child if the relationship has proven itself to be going somewhere, and that will be lasting and stable for the child. Maybe your ex-wife doesn't know where this relationship is going quite yet, she wants to know the guy is going to stick around and be a stable figure for the kids.
Recommended Posts