Billy BB Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Posted here a few times before about my breakup... Anyways, been 1 month since she broke up with me(basically because i wasn't fun enough for her and she got bored). In that time we really didn't stop contact for longer than 1 or 2 days. Probably a 60/40 split, with me initiating contact more. Mostly through text, some e-mails, and some calls. I told her everything i wanted to tell her, the last secrets i kept from everybody, i let it all out in the open. Sent her an e-mail telling her i made my peace the day after that last phone call, Planned on going nc after that, but she responded back telling me i need to stop writing those kinds of things, and 'we will never be we again, and i hope you will see that sometime'. I responded and said 'your heart must have left me a long time ago if you can walk away from a 5 year relationship that easy'. She responded with 'well you pushed me pretty far away with all your craziness'. (i quit smoking the day she broke up with me, so i couldnt cope with both) i told her i was sorry for everything and atleast i wont regret going down without a fight. later that same day i texted her telling her i finally made an appt for an eye exam to get glasses. she responded back that i was a crazy sob and she was happy i was finally doing that. then the next day she texted me asking me personal questions about her family, and seeking my advice on a problem they were having. i responded the best i could, went on for 20 minutes, and it ended there. the next day she texted me and asked me how my eye exam went, but i ignored it, the first text i've ignored from her since we broke up. that was 4 days ago, and i havnt heard from her since. she posts pictures on her instagram account, about getting dolled up and going 'out'(by herself), not sure if she knows i can see them. my question is...was that the right move?? she texted me...i want her back so bad. is she just 'acting-out'?? trying to see if the grass is greener on the other side?? i want nothing more than to just call/text her and ask her about her family, or see how she's doing, because i know she will respond, almost immediately. is she not over me? keeping me around as a backup? ugh...
Author Billy BB Posted August 26, 2012 Author Posted August 26, 2012 should add that, even though she met with me 2 times in person in the weeks following the breakup, she REFUSES to meet with me again, saying 'it's too early to hang out as friends'
salmagundi Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 I'm not going to pretend to be able to read your exes mind but I don't see any real reason to be encouraged. Texting and emailing is easy thoughtless stuff that all exes do without it usually meaning too much. Her telling you its too early to be friends would seem to indicate that she only wants to be friends, right? I guess I'll tell you what someone already told me...your ex knows you're there and knows you want her back. All other communication at this point is superfluous and will only push her away. In any case, she is going out...she is back on the market. You need to accept that and go NC. You can't lose. If she misses you she'll come back and if she doesn't you heal. But definitely its time to stop the pointless little communications about bs like getting an eye exam. You know thats just an excuse to reach out and you should know that it will not bring her back. good luck, sorry I can't sound a more encouraging note...
salmagundi Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Having said that, I honestly empathize...loss is a bitch and regret brings a world of pain. But it passes, its like a hangover. You only think you are going to die in the moment but you know that tomorrow you will feel better. I promise.
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