irin Posted August 28, 2012 Posted August 28, 2012 You cannot change the world, society, different cultures have different outlooks. I just worry about me, and how i treat people and the way I would want to be treated. okay this going off-topic, and im sorry. but yes we can change the world, if we all just continue the same old stupid way, how would we ever improve, people must stop viewing mental illnesses like some sort of fault at its patients.
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 Hey guys, First of all, I am in no way ashamed of having a possibly mental illness. I have a great day to day life, so it isnot as though having any "problem" mentally, is making my life of lesser quality to a very large extent. I consider myself a very happy person, my rants on here are the only times I am ever annoyed or upset. I am never ashamed about having any problems or even sounding stupid or uneducated on here; who cares, I am lucky enough to get constructive feedback from jabesays and Chaucer ( sorry if I have missed anyone out), and therefore all I need to do is simply address my posting style. It is honestly NO big deal, I know who I am and if people think I am a moron, so be it; they do not know me, I am educated enough to not be stupid, and I am very perceptive and self aware, and am very good at taking things in my stride. I have been told worse things about myself and simply went about fixing them. As embarrassing as it is to hear from people that your somehow doing something socially deviant, I never saw a point on dwelling on it. If I see a problem, I do not tend to care too much; I just go about trying to fix it. And for what is is worth - Andrew said ALL the things I said he did. I am no pushover - I ONLY date guys who are really into me. I may not be everyones cup of tea, but without sounding full of myself; I have plenty of options and have never had trouble finding nice guys who are interested in me. Why would I bother with a guy who did not totally love and adore me? I am strong enough to walk away from a relationship if the guy is anything less than adoring and totally enamoured by me. I have made it clear to Andrew, that a lot of guys would be extremely happy to have just ME in a sexual relationship, for the rest of their lives; if he needs other women to be happy, then I am not the women for him, and he should find one he loves enough to be monogomus with. Our prostitute thing was just really messed up; however, it was not his way of showing me I was not enough for him. We are both adamant that based on his phase of life, that he would have accepted the offer from ANY GIRL he loved; he would not have behaved differently to a girl if " he loved them more". He had a girl he adored before me too; I KNOW when a person is really in love with their partner, normally... ANd even with this girl, Andrew actually suggested a threesome, in their 3 month relationship. He is just LIKE that in general. It is NOT because the girls he loves fall short. Sometimes guys bad behaviour are about THEM, and not indivative of their feelings for YOU. Andrew has been around girls without me on THREE differnt trips; he never wanted to hook up with them. It is still not healthy that he had sex with prostitutes, but that is ALL he COULD do. My boyfriend has a complex about women; forplay and kissing are reseved for girls he likes or when he is single. Where as just sticking his dick in a girl with no intimacy, foreplay, or even having to really touch her - to him, is something that is SO meaningless, that he was able to do it while having strong feelings for me. I really do not like people on here who demonize my partner. No one knows what our daily life is like. We adore each other and I know he lovesm e a great deal - I would say as much as he CAN love a person. He came back from his recent trip and on his own accord, told me that he wanted to get married, and have a 100% monogomus relationship. I have no forced him to. It is what HE wants. I have, however, told him in the past that I am unsure about it, regarding what a truly loving relationship is. He obviously realized I was right to be confused, because he did not feel "right" about the hooker rule either. He could not make sense of it, but he just felt strongly against it all of a sudden ( his words). I am definately giving Andrew a chance. May daily life is so, so happy as a result of having him. It feelsl like I am constantly on happy pills or coffee - the happy energy he gives me, just knowing we have one another.
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Posted August 28, 2012 Andrew is my biggest support.. Lastly - please remember that Andrew was basically the catalyst for me overcoming my eating disorder; he just made me seel ife as different way, and that, combined with my own will to survive anorexia, lead to be overcoming it after 6 or 7 years. He did not care that I wastotally weird and ate out of different plates to other people, or did not eat at all, or ate weird food at weird times. He was just compelled to help me and be a good person to me. Andrew is a best friend throughout all of this. I need someone I can laugh a lot with, and I would be happy to have time off and only see him on weekends, for two days, hence having the rest of the week every week to work on myself. If there are any more issues regarding our relationship, I will definately make the move to spend time apart without a therapist suggestion. I just think people on here jumped the gun in labelling our relationship toxic; we are happier than most couples around us, we smile all day every day, are never upset with eachother, and constantly feel an overwhelming sense of love towards eachother. We have lived 25 years and had happy times before, we KNOW when a person makes our lives happier! And our lives are both hugely happier when we are together.
snowflakes88 Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 If the forum will agree to stipulate that you and Andrew are the World's Happiest Couple, that you are super attractive and like, the nicest person ever, will you stop beating us over the head with it?
Janesays Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Leigh, rewrite those posts and I'm sure you'll get more people to read and respond to them. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 If the forum will agree to stipulate that you and Andrew are the World's Happiest Couple, that you are super attractive and like, the nicest person ever, will you stop beating us over the head with it? I am a very genuine person; I am telling you like it is. I am telling you how WE feel. Take it or leave it. And thanks, Jane:) Your very sweet for taking the time to give me such valuable advice. You won't believe this, but I have been in college/Univesity before, got into hard to get into degrees, and I can actually write essays. However, I find them to be easy - you stick to a point and it is logical. My mind iS FAR FROM LOGICAL at times. I am not eloquent or easily able to articulate my points, but remember I am not totally destitute! I am not that silly... I Just act like it:D So it is not really out of my depth to write properly. It is doable. I just have to try harder. 3
mortensorchid Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 This sounds like an all around terrible situation to be in. I stopped reading at some point, it was all just craziness. His friends sound abusive and rotten, but your bf is not? He's just along for the ride? Sounds fishy. If I were you, I'd move on. This is all just too dramatic.
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 This sounds like an all around terrible situation to be in. I stopped reading at some point, it was all just craziness. His friends sound abusive and rotten, but your bf is not? He's just along for the ride? Sounds fishy. If I were you, I'd move on. This is all just too dramatic. Thanks for your imput, but.... If you were me, you would know what our relationship was like; there are NO dramas on a daily basis. We are a loved up couple who are constantly hugging and in a honeymoon phase two years in. We are extremely close and offer the most ammount of support a person CAN offer another person. We had dramas early on, because I was mentally ill with anorexia. He was also new to being in a relationship, and made a lot of mistakes. To top ot off, I was VERY hard to get to know, and it took him a goods year or more JUST to get to know me. I have wrongly portrayed the situation. Andrew, my partner, is NOT abusive:sick:yuck. My partner was always in the popular croud growing up, and is well known for being easy going. Never a player or @sshole, but he is a guy who gets along with everyone around him. Because everyone was nice to him, he never really SAW his mates be truly horrible and abusive. He did not know how to deal with these two abusive mates initially. We had only been seeing each other a few months and he still did not know me well; where as he knew his mates for YEARS. Still, his response to their abuse was to ring them, tell them to leave me alone, and then ignore them. I guess I wanted him to literally say " how dare you talk about lee like that, as if I wanna still be your mate after you continue to call my partner ugly" Instead, he did not want to cause drama, and chose to ignore them. After telling them off.
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2012 Author Posted August 29, 2012 I am not going to judge my partner because he had a couple of horrible friends. We all make mistakes. I certainly have. Andrew is very unique; he is into travel and is SO passionate about life in general... he has a much better attitude than a lot of his friends do, and MOST of his mates like me, it is just the two that were truly awful.
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