badly abused by bf's friends

[Leigh 87]

She doesn't have one. That was my point...

 

Leigh has been coming to LS with a variety of problems for several years and many of us have continually suggested therapy for these issues.

 

 

Carrie T - I am waiting to see a therapist. I have made an appointment. it will take a month just to see them. Al of them are similary booked.

 

I cannot do anymore. And I did try another therapist, but she did not tak eme that seriously, because I AM normal on a day to day basis. I am socially adept now, and there is nothing outwardly strange or off about me.

 

Also, I will be just fine until I see said therapist, because I function very well on a day to day basis; there are no tears, drama, or trantraums! I am happy 98% of the time, positive, and happy with Andrew.

 

I know you want what is best for me, but please, stop acting like I should just walk into a therapist office, and say " look, plz, I cannot get into a therapist in my generl area without a huge waiting list, PLZ take me in PLZ PLZ".

 

I am ALREADY on their cancellation lists; I always ASK to be put on them.

 

Andrew's stratagy is that, if I have a bad or paranoid or delluded feeling that is not healthy or conductive to our relationship - I need to hug him and just say" I am not feeling mentally healthy right now, plz just hug me and lets be silent and do ouw own thing for a while, so I do not cause unecessary drama"

OR, I can leave the room and cool off. But it is hard for him, to know I have an issue without hugging me close to him and being here for me in a physical sense.

 

And I do not think I am messed up for thinking those people are demented, sad losers! I am all about treating people well and living with kindess; I LOOK DOWN on people like his ex - friends. Now, Andrew does too. He is LUCKY I showed him who his friends TRULY were ( I mean come on, trying to have sex with and kiss your girlfriend? PLEASE.)

 

I still and and always WILL be totally in awe of what losers people can be! I feel inherently sorry for such people, as his ex friends!

[Leigh 87]

Carrie T - I am waiting to see a therapist. I have made an appointment. it will take a month just to see them. Al of them are similary booked.

I cannot do anymore. And I did try another therapist, but she did not tak eme that seriously, because I AM normal on a day to day basis. I am socially adept now, and there is nothing outwardly strange or off about me.

Also, I will be just fine until I see said therapist, because I function very well on a day to day basis; there are no tears, drama, or trantraums! I am happy 98% of the time, positive, and happy with Andrew.

I know you want what is best for me, but please, stop acting like I should just walk into a therapist office, and say " look, plz, I cannot get into a therapist in my generl area without a huge waiting list, PLZ take me in PLZ PLZ".

 

I am ALREADY on their cancellation lists; I always ASK to be put on them.

 

Andrew's strategy is that, if I have a bad or paranoid or delluded feeling that is not healthy or conductive to our relationship - I need to hug him and just say" I am not feeling mentally healthy right now, plz just hug me and lets be silent and do ouw own thing for a while, so I do not cause unecessary drama"

OR, I can leave the room and cool off. But it is hard for him, to know I have an issue without hugging me close to him and being here for me in a physical sense.

 

And I do not think I am messed up for thinking those people are demented, sad losers! I am all about treating people well and living with kindess; I LOOK DOWN on people like his ex - friends. Now, Andrew does too. He is LUCKY I showed him who his friends TRULY were ( I mean come on, trying to have sex with and kiss your girlfriend? PLEASE.)

 

I still and and always WILL be totally in awe of what losers people can be! I feel inherently sorry for such people, as his ex friends! I really do feel sorry for people like that and look down on them incredibly...

[Leigh 87]

SOrry for the double post, the latter one was my edited version with propper paragraphs.

[Leigh 87]

SHeesh, even Andrew thinks his former friends and not nice people, and are total idiots! And he was mates with them for YEARS....

 

He saw the girl many months later after he stopped talking to her, and spent a night hanging out with her because she insisted. He wanted to see if she had changed at all..

 

turns out, she is a drug taking LOSER! She said drinking did nothing for her anymore, so she took pills instead. Lovely:)

 

Yes I am being judgmental; I look down on being who are unkind to others. I surround myself with kind, positive people, who accept people for how they look, and do not even consider talking about petty things such as being ugly, dropping out of school due to anorexia.... ANYONE who has an issue with looks and dropping out of school due to a mental near death illness, are seriously damaged and un kind people with LITTLE empathy.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Thinking some people are losers is fine, IMO. I agree with you, there are some tremendous losers out there. Seems like you spend a lot of time on them, too. Why?

 

Giving it SO much of your attention, emotional energy, dragging your relationship through the crap over it, carrying on and on and on with incoherent ranting, is SICK.

 

Your boyfriend seems to care about you. Also, he is a drunken party guy who evidently has no self discipline, focus, work ethic, and who naturally hangs around with a bunch of drunken partying losers. I mean - do ANY of these people do anything useful with ANY of their time? It sounds like 100% self indulgence, all the time, for all of you - including you, Leigh.

 

Now, please don't start to type about your "studies." You have posted millions of words about all the courses you are going to take or are taking and it's a different one weekly. If you can't handle school right now, fine. I can totally understand. But don't misrepresent.

 

Anyway, you picked Andrew, and I believe he truly does care about you - and I hope that the positives outweigh the negatives, but please accept him as he is.

 

Leigh, please answer this question:

 

Were you in a hospital for 5 years? You often say that you weren't "around people" for 5 years, and in this thread, you've said you were in a hospital during that time.

 

I am not going to judge you for it, if you were. I have been hospitalized for non - physical problems myself.

 

I want to know because I think it's very important for you to be taking care of your mental health.

 

And also, I think you mis-use the resource that LoveShack can be. You don't really tell the truth, Leigh. You throw out a huge barrage of words that don't even really make sense, you say many contradictory things, you don't answer direct questions, and basically you seem very invested in remaining in some kind of denial and unreal place.

 

The way you are expressing yourself on this thread is not indicative of good mental health.

 

Lots of people have reached out to you to try to help you IF you were / are moving in a direction of dealing with the real problems that you face. But then you invariably turn it around to be all about eating, body image, sex, sexual attention, and social b.s. Certainly these things can cause a lot of trouble for many of us - but what about what is behind all of them?

 

Sure, some people here will judge you badly if you're honest at last, but you know what? I bet more people judge you harshly for the BS you throw around with such wild abandon.

 

I hope you will get honest soon. And a huge part of that would be dealing with your sh** in an adult and focussed way IN THERAPY, and having that be THE priority.

[Taramere]

And I do not think I am messed up for thinking those people are demented, sad losers! I am all about treating people well and living with kindess; I LOOK DOWN on people like his ex - friends. Now, Andrew does too. He is LUCKY I showed him who his friends TRULY were ( I mean come on, trying to have sex with and kiss your girlfriend? PLEASE.)

 

I still and and always WILL be totally in awe of what losers people can be! I feel inherently sorry for such people, as his ex friends! I really do feel sorry for people like that and look down on them incredibly...

 

When *******ry becomes a group norm, there will always be certain people who embrace it with particular gusto in order to get that sense of group belonging. The girl who sent you the "f*cking idiot" message sounds like a particular culprit. She could certainly do with being kicked off her high horse...but unfortunately it doesn't sound as though you're in a place, right now, where you'd be up to that task. All I can say is that if you ignore a yapping dog, it will eventually get tired of yapping. Same with overly enthusiastic clique members like that.

 

I hope you can get therapy, because it sounds as though you need to learn some solid techniques to stop internalising other people's behaviour/letting their opinions threaten your own self image. I'm not saying it's easy, or even suggesting that it's possible to do all the time...but there's only so much time you can spend on LS asking for confirmation that these people are behaving badly.

 

Yes they are behaving badly, but the bottom line is that as long as people feel they have permission to behave badly from a clique they're part of, they'll keep doing it. There's not much you can do about that other than to learn a lesson from their behaviour....ie that if and when you are part of a group, you'll keep your dignity and avoid being sucked into the kind of shoddy and unkind behaviour you're seeing from these people.

[CarrieT]

From what you are posting about your attempts at therapy, it looks like you are going into it with some mis-guided perspectives.

 

Of course there are no tears, tantrums, or hysterics - but being outwardly "find" doesn't dismiss the needs for therapists and a licensed therapist understands this. It takes months - sometimes years - to delve into the issues that people have.

 

I questioned your last therapist whom you said did not take you seriously because you function on a day-to-day basis. Most people who see therapists do function just fine on a daily basis. You don't have to go to one in hysterics to start the healing - but you do need one that will listen to you from the get-go and, as others have suggested, perhaps going through all your old threads and printing out some of your issues will be encapsulate all the issues you have been dealing with.

 

But the idea that it takes a MONTH to get into a therapist seems questionable to me....

[Trimmer]

And I do not think I am messed up for thinking those people are demented, sad losers! I am all about treating people well and living with kindess; I LOOK DOWN on people like his ex - friends. Now, Andrew does too. He is LUCKY I showed him who his friends TRULY were ( I mean come on, trying to have sex with and kiss your girlfriend? PLEASE.)

 

I still and and always WILL be totally in awe of what losers people can be! I feel inherently sorry for such people, as his ex friends!

That's all great and sounds pretty normal. So the summary is: it's just a few of his old friends who were causing problems. You have the ability to ignore them, and he is standing with you in casting them out of his life. Other than that, your other mutual friends are good and supportive, and the vast majority of your life together is happy and normal, and you and Andrew even have a working protocol for communicating and dealing with the times when you feel like you're a little "off".

 

So why the multiple, hand-wringing posts, treating this like it's an earth-shattering problem? Why this:

 

I feel like we basically have to keep it a SECRET, because EVERY ONE he knows will think he is making a mistake!:(

... so is it "everyone he knows" or is it just a few friends now?

 

I tend to agree with this:

Giving it SO much of your attention, emotional energy, dragging your relationship through the crap over it, carrying on and on and on with incoherent ranting, is SICK.

[Mme. Chaucer]

From what you are posting about your attempts at therapy, it looks like you are going into it with some mis-guided perspectives.

 

Of course there are no tears, tantrums, or hysterics - but being outwardly "find" doesn't dismiss the needs for therapists and a licensed therapist understands this. It takes months - sometimes years - to delve into the issues that people have.

 

I questioned your last therapist whom you said did not take you seriously because you function on a day-to-day basis. Most people who see therapists do function just fine on a daily basis. You don't have to go to one in hysterics to start the healing - but you do need one that will listen to you from the get-go and, as others have suggested, perhaps going through all your old threads and printing out some of your issues will be encapsulate all the issues you have been dealing with.

 

 

This is why I want to know whether you, Leigh, were actually hospitalized for 5 years prior to meeting Andrew, as you have said in this thread but not in prior threads.

 

If you were, you don't need to explain too much to get a therapist to take your need for help seriously. No, not because you're "crazy." That is not what I think. But because that would clearly indicate that you'd had some serious issues and would now certainly be in need of a LOT of guidance about how to navigate in the world.

 

You spend so very many words here on LS to try to convince all of us that you are happy, fine, have a perfect love, etc. etc. etc (even though 98% of your posts completely belie this). I believe you are completely invested in giving this impression and you probably do it when you walk into a therapist office.

 

Just tell the truth in the first 5 minutes about hospitalization (if that is the real story) and SHOW YOUR LOVESHACK POSTING HISTORY.

 

That would give a therapist a lot to work with.

[Silly_Girl]

Her behavior does attract negative reactions.

 

Leigh, this statement is true, to me. And from the reactions of others I'm not alone.

 

How do you feel about that? Can you recognise that saying 'I am so nice, I am so great, you should believe that I am the nicest person in the world' is an unusual stance for anyone to take? That it might set people on edge? You don't need to insist these lovely things about you. You can just *be* them.

 

If you aren't satisfied with living your life in a way that makes you happy, and settled with knowing who you are and who loves you, maybe you need to look a little further than Andrew and his friends.

 

Do you speak to a counsellor at all? If not I would definitely recommend it. It would be great to see you focus on you, and how you feel and how you envisage your life turning out, without the drama and influence of others.

[CarrieT]

Just tell the truth in the first 5 minutes about hospitalization (if that is the real story) and SHOW YOUR LOVESHACK POSTING HISTORY.

 

That would give a therapist a lot to work with.

 

^^^^^ BRILLIANT ^^^^^^^

 

And I seriously doubt it would take a month to get a therapist if this route was taken.

[Janesays]

Here some posting tips Leigh:

 

1. Please quit repeating the same points over and over and over again. We are not stupid, we heard you the first time. Reread EVERYTHING you post and if you said a sentence more than once, DELETE THE REST.

 

2. If you don't IMMEDIATELY get responses, DON'T post 10 more times repeating the same stuff over and over and over again.

 

This will make it so people can respond to you easier. All that repetitiveness makes me think, 'Who is she trying to convince? Me? Or herself?" Assuming I make it through the WALL OF TEXT that is basically the same 4 sentences repeated over and over again that is.

 

3. Quit speaking for Andrew. Quit telling us how he thinks. Quit telling us how he feels. Quit it. You are not Andrew. And everything you 'assume' about him, to us, is HEARSAY. It's irrelevant. The ONLY thing we need to know is what Andrew DOES. Every time you post something about Andrew, ask yourself, "Is this something he did? Or am I writing about his opinions or feelings? If it's the latter, DELETE IT."

 

4. If you don't get the responses you want, DON'T just write your post first post over and over and over and over again hoping that you're going to hypnotize us towards your way of thinking.

 

5. Quit telling us how wonderful you are. You shouldn't have to tell us that. We should be able to determine that from how you ACT.

 

I'd like to help you, I really would. But just trying to read through your posts and responses are so darn EXHAUSTING that by the time I finish, I need a nap. Or a glass of wine. And aspirin for my throbbing headache.

 

Try to start a thread utilizing those 5 rules I just gave you. I bet you get waaaayyyyyy more out of it than the ones you've started in the past. Just try it.

[Leigh 87]

Hey all,

 

Chaucer - yes I was in and out of hospital. I was mostly at home, but did have to get treatment a lot of the time too. All in all, I was never around people, besides nurses, and my parents basically. I had no clue as to HOW to act around people. Fortunately, I am naturally very social and talkative, so was able to find my way after the initial few social mishaps I made with Andrews mates.

 

About his mates and him; they all have jobs, just not one that involve degrees. Andrew is not a party animal all the time. He seldom goes out. We spend out weekends at the beach and cuddling. He never goes out partying anymore. He got it out of his system before and in the early stages of meeting me. He only parties now when he travels, and drinks with mates every second weekend and is not always that drunk. I admit he did have a problem, but I did not know him well enough to ascertain this.

 

Andrew is very passioate and driven to learn. He just prefers to do it through watching documentaries on space, rather then readig about it. he is NOT a reader. Where as I LOVE reading. I enjoy studying in a classroom setting.

Speaking of which: I am currently doing a tourism course. It will land me a job as a travel agent or wholesaler who makes the itineries for trips and books travel brochures together and sells them to business/and clients.

My course ends in about three months and I am about 1.5 months into it and I love it. It is easy enough though gives me something to do every day, and I will be able to work a stead job when I go back to study at University.

 

Honestly, I would not date a guy who was not passionate about life, who sat on his bum all day and had no interest in exploring the world, learning new things constantly, and who was NOT interested in bettering himself.

Andrew is a great guy, he just had some sh*tty friends.

Because he was popular growing up, everyone liked him, and therefore he did not see peoples true colours, seeing as they were nice to him.

 

CARRIE T- I am literally on a waiting list. I live on the central coast NSW in Australia, it is really laid back here and no good therapist are available. If I want a therapist faster, I need to travel to Sydney.

I have a lot of course work to do, so cannot travel to Sydney to skip a day of class.

 

Really, ANdrew and I are all about wanting to get into a career and work hard, and then get rewarded partying and travelling.

And I am a very nice person. My parents were extremely generous people. They gave more than any of my friends ever did. I have VERY HIGH standards of what I call a nice and generous person.

[Leigh 87]

Here some posting tips Leigh:

 

1. Please quit repeating the same points over and over and over again. We are not stupid, we heard you the first time. Reread EVERYTHING you post and if you said a sentence more than once, DELETE THE REST.

 

2. If you don't IMMEDIATELY get responses, DON'T post 10 more times repeating the same stuff over and over and over again.

 

This will make it so people can respond to you easier. All that repetitiveness makes me think, 'Who is she trying to convince? Me? Or herself?" Assuming I make it through the WALL OF TEXT that is basically the same 4 sentences repeated over and over again that is.

 

3. Quit speaking for Andrew. Quit telling us how he thinks. Quit telling us how he feels. Quit it. You are not Andrew. And everything you 'assume' about him, to us, is HEARSAY. It's irrelevant. The ONLY thing we need to know is what Andrew DOES. Every time you post something about Andrew, ask yourself, "Is this something he did? Or am I writing about his opinions or feelings? If it's the latter, DELETE IT."

 

4. If you don't get the responses you want, DON'T just write your post first post over and over and over and over again hoping that you're going to hypnotize us towards your way of thinking.

 

5. Quit telling us how wonderful you are. You shouldn't have to tell us that. We should be able to determine that from how you ACT.

 

I'd like to help you, I really would. But just trying to read through your posts and responses are so darn EXHAUSTING that by the time I finish, I need a nap. Or a glass of wine. And aspirin for my throbbing headache.

 

Try to start a thread utilizing those 5 rules I just gave you. I bet you get waaaayyyyyy more out of it than the ones you've started in the past. Just try it.

 

 

 

Great advice, I will start applying it ASAP! When I post, I tend to be crying or upset or very anxious and obsessive. I tend to get hat way when I am anxious.

 

I think I should go for a walk and get a level head before posting next time. IN fact, when I calm down, I am normally not in a mood TO post about nonsence to begin with.

 

I guess I was just very annoyed at it all; here I am, never saying a bad word about ANY person in my life, and yet I get abused and called ugly.

[Leigh 87]

So, thanks all for the advice. Not getting therapy seams to be the key fatcor in me not getting mentally better.

I guess I will try to find less reputable therapist who are harder to track down, or go to Sydney one day to find a decent therapist.

I am good at studying and missing a day will not impact me with my tourism course.

 

Know that I do not work and my mother supports my very ill father and I, I am studying and have not found work yet; I need a mental health care plan first, which involves a visit to the doctor. I think my latest plan is still valid, 97% sure it is... If not, I cannot afford a doctors appointmen to the government money, nor can my poor mother.

This is also why I did not immediately seek therapy earlier on: I COULD NOT AFFORD IT.PLEASE bare in mind it cost money to even get a mental health care plan ( a pass to cheap therapy) , as you do need a doctors appointment, which is 100% dollars or therabouts.

 

Ultimately, I know therapy holds the answer. How I feal with issues is my only downfall really. I have just no urge or capacity to not eat again I am completely recovered, and my DAY TO DAY LIFE IS VERY HAPPY.

Really, I mean it when I say that my daily life is very happy, I am the happiest person I know really. Andrew and I treat each other so well and are incredibly close. The only times I am distressed, are here on loveshack when I have a problem. It lasts for an hour, then I am back to my usual, happy self.

 

So please, do not pitty me. I have a lot going for me career wise even though I had a later start; I have a boyfriend who adores me and treats me very well, and great parents and a lovely flat to live in, as well as Andrews mansion with all the little dogs in it. My parents supporrt me until I get a job, from which point I can pay move out with Andrew, or pay rent here. As my parents live overseas, I will probably stay here. It is SUCH a nice flat.

 

I really love my life and would not trade it for anyones. It is just damn ANNOYING and UNHEALTHY how I deal with problems. It WILL be my downfall if I do not get involvd in therapy.

your words of warning have been heard. I am not going to ignore them.

[truth_seeker]

Therapy is a must for you. I don't mean that in a bad way. It's okay to seek help. The objective is for you to work through your issues with a professional. If money is an issue, there are other avenues such as church or a community center where you can speak to someone who will listen.

 

As for the people who say you're ugly, I'm sure they're prizes. Usually when people are making nasty remarks, it is because they are insecure and jealous. Always remember that.

[Leigh 87]

Therapy is a must for you. I don't mean that in a bad way. It's okay to seek help. The objective is for you to work through your issues with a professional. If money is an issue, there are other avenues such as church or a community center where you can speak to someone who will listen.

 

As for the people who say you're ugly, I'm sure they're prizes. Usually when people are making nasty remarks, it is because they are insecure and jealous. Always remember that.

 

 

Thanks. And no offence, but I need REAL threapy from a person who has spent years studying people; not from a church member simply for the benfit of " talking", although I know it does help a lot of people, and it is so kind of those people do offer their service for free to people who need it, I really admore people like that. I have my boyfriend and good friends to talk to and I am not sure talking to a stranger would help, unless they are a trained professional who can help me learn stratagies to deal with life.

 

And I also agree about people who call me ugly; NO ONE else has besides his friends, (no one else has actually said it and made a big song and dance about it) and I am better looking than the ones who called me ugly.. I am not every ones cup of tea, but based on peoples reactions and honest opinions of me, NO ONE has acted like I am ugly (eg, I get attractive guys interested in relationshiops and sex, and most people tell me I am attractive, and I have no shortage of male attention and get checked out daily)

You know - not being every ones cup of tea goes for most people, and I am no exception; being ugly, however, is not something that really applies to you just because two people said it! And even truly hideous looking people should not be judged on it:sick:

 

What is interesting to me, is that some people naturally have the ability to sit around, calling people ugly and making fun of the way they look; it actually comes NATURALLY to them:sick:

Where as I, on the other hand, have to TRY and expend a great deal of mental energy, to even THINK to say such nasty things!

I do wonder why some people can easily go calling another person ugly and tease them about their nose or ears; is it their up bringing, environmen, or chemical make up that makes it easy for them to be mean to others?

I know personally, that my parents were SO nice; they taught me to be accepting of all types of people, regardless of what they looked like or where they came from. Ihad a great up bringing and I believe having nice parents really shaped my own pattern of how I treat people.

 

I can can safely say that I would rather be ****ED UP, than be a b*tch. I can get help in how to deal with things life throws at me, but I doubt most nasty, means spirated people, will wake up and have an epiohany that " hey we are nasty, better start being nice to others more!"

Furthermore, I have repeatedly made a big deal of mentioning I AM nice, because feel it is relevent; I AM nice, so it IS a big deal that these people are mean, even to a very NICE person, who has not said or done anything the least bit nasty to these people...

[Mme. Chaucer]

Okay - I think you got off to a very good start with your recent posts. DON'T go off on a binge about the asinine friends again. You've expressed that enough and you need to let it go.

 

Jane's advice is really good for YOU and I think it's been talked about before more than once. Holding yourself to a standard of how you communicate here will be beneficial to you. Learning impulse control and how to have some filters will be something you NEED in life, and right here is a good place to start.

 

People here are actually getting to know you by how you represent yourself here, so you should start thinking about being accountable for being consistent, clear, honest, and, as Janesays (haha), careful to speak only for YOURSELF.

 

Since it's obvious that you have issues with compulsive and obsessive behavior - don't let it get a hold of you when you are posting here. You say you are "venting" but I think what you are doing is indulging in an unhealthy pattern that you need to learn how to excuse from your life as much as possible.

 

Take care and FIND A THERAPIST AND STICK WITH IT even if you think you are "fine" or if you believe you've convinced the therapist you are fine.

[irin]

okay im actually starting to understand you, i actually have witnessed mental illness first hand, when you post it seems like you are about have a panic attack.

 

i also know that for people who suffer from mental illness, their well being largely rely on the people they have around them, trust me. you should always stay as far away as possible from people that cause conflict inside of your own head.

[AlexCross]

okay im actually starting to understand you, i actually have witnessed mental illness first hand, when you post it seems like you are about have a panic attack.

 

i also know that for people who suffer from mental illness, their well being largely rely on the people they have around them, trust me. you should always stay as far away as possible from people that cause conflict inside of your own head.

 

I would cut her some slack and refrain from using the labels. You are not a therapist. Branding someone who has a mental illness carries a stigma. Yes she has acknowledged she has issues she needs to address forthwith but there is no reason to bring her down and use labels.

[irin]

I would cut her some slack and refrain from using the labels. You are not a therapist. Branding someone who has a mental illness carries a stigma. Yes she has acknowledged she has issues she needs to address forthwith but there is no reason to bring her down and use labels.

 

im really sorry i did not mean it like that, the way i was brought up, i was taught the brain is just another organ that sometime gets tired and doesnt work well, just like the stomach or any other parts of our bodies, i dont see any stigmas with it, i dont view it any different to someone whos legs is aching. it just needs some care, i simply think she shouldnt allow these people near her, which are obviously causing her distraught. completely cut them out.

 

btw what exactly are these stigmas?

[AlexCross]

im really sorry i did not mean it like that, the way i was brought up, i was taught the brain is just another organ that sometime gets tired and doesnt work well, just like the stomach or any other parts of our bodies, i dont see any stigmas with it, i dont view it any different to someone whos legs is aching. it just needs some care, i simply think she shouldnt allow these people near her, which are obviously causing her distraught. completely cut them out.

 

btw what exactly are these stigmas?

 

I do agree about the cuttting off her friends part. Stigmas are for alot of things in life especially when it comes to someones emotional health. My parents are old school, not born here, and they see anxiety & depression which is so very common as a stigma, something that shouldnt be talked about. There are stigmas for basically everything in life. I think Leigh knows what needs to be done to get her healthy and happy.

[Janesays]

Thanks. And no offence, but I need REAL threapy from a person who has spent years studying people; not from a church member simply for the benfit of " talking", although I know it does help a lot of people, and it is so kind of those people do offer their service for free to people who need it, I really admore people like that. I have my boyfriend and good friends to talk to and I am not sure talking to a stranger would help, unless they are a trained professional who can help me learn stratagies to deal with life.

 

And you started off so well with this post....

 

But consider this: in this post ALONE, you:

 

1. Stressed that no one thinks you're ugly but these two people 5 times.

 

2. Insisted that it's wrong to call people nasty names: 7 times.

 

3. Made reference to how you were raised better: 3 times.

 

4. Talked about how nice you are: 6 times.

 

All these points should have been made ONCE, tops. And personally, I think you could have left out EVERYTHING but that first paragraph since you have already REPEATEDLY stressed those same four points over and over and over and over again in your other posts in this thread.

 

Listen, I think it's really important for you to re-read EVERY post you make, re-read my rules, and then edit your posts down to a couple of sentences. Why? Because I truly believe that people don't read all of your posts because they know you're just rehashing the same 3 or 4 points over and over again. This isn't good for you since by skipping such large amounts of your text, we could all be missing pertinent info that is hidden somewhere in all that ranting.

 

It also makes you look a little wacko, too.

 

Just seriously sit down and TRY to write a clean, concise, post this is of reasonable length and makes all your points ONE TIME and ONE TIME ONLY.

 

This really is a skill you want to learn if you want to present yourself in the best possible light.

[irin]

I do agree about the cuttting off her friends part. Stigmas are for alot of things in life especially when it comes to someones emotional health. My parents are old school, not born here, and they see anxiety & depression which is so very common as a stigma, something that shouldnt be talked about. There are stigmas for basically everything in life. I think Leigh knows what needs to be done to get her healthy and happy.

 

im sorry i find that to be very ignorant, its very stupid to stigmatize anything that relates to the brain, whether its eating disorders, depression, of metal disorders. its plain ignorant. the human brain has so much responsibility we cant expect it to be working perfectly at all times, i come from a family where there are few mental illnesses, getting sick is something we have no control over, is like getting cancer, are we going to stigmatize that to?

 

and it should be talked about very openly it very common and natural. if we dont talk about it, how would we tackle it?

[AlexCross]

im sorry i find that to be very ignorant, its very stupid to stigmatize anything that relates to the brain, whether its eating disorders, depression, of metal disorders. its plain ignorant. the human brain has so much responsibility we cant expect it to be working perfectly at all times, i come from a family where there are few mental illnesses, getting sick is something we have no control over, is like getting cancer, are we going to stigmatize that to?

 

and it should be talked about very openly it very common and natural. if we dont talk about it, how would we tackle it?

 

You cannot change the world, society, different cultures have different outlooks. I just worry about me, and how i treat people and the way I would want to be treated.