xxoo Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 So, all of this was in the past? What about the recent fb comment, the thing with the elephant? How did your bf handle that?
TheFinalWord Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Look, I agree. I have obviously said and done some things that have made him think badly of me. But I never did anything mallicious. I never did anything mean. I have NO illentent towards ANY one. All I did was act strange. I caused issues due to misundestanding social cues. Honestly. That is ALL I did. whatever I did, how can you AGREE with people who called me ugly, a whore ( I have been with two men in 7 years and am not "easy"), and other horrible things? WHY did I deserve to be extremely verbally abused?! Look, I think I am better than people who have time to sit around and make fun of the way another person looks. If you regard people who do that more highly than me, than you obviously do not know the real me. Hello Leigh 87, I tried reading most of the thread. I am not going to judge your life because I don't know you outside of this forum. There does seem to be some problems with the relationship itself. Not trying to be mean, but if you could summarize your threads it would be helpful But besides that, No one has a right to verbally abuse you. You absolutely, 100%, have a full right to not tolerate bullying behavior. I don't know what it is about people, but many people think they have a right to say whatever to others and act however they want to others. It's disgusting IMHO. People seem to do it more often on the Internet and social media. I think when they are behind a computer screen they feel empowered. It reminds me of the teenage kid that flicks people off in his car, but face to face he isn't so tough. I would encourage you to block those people on Facebook and add people who do it here (if it's happening here) to your ignore list. Do not accept or tolerate it, okay? Here is a good message about not taking bullying behavior: You mentioned you have social problems and some phobias. Is it agoraphobia? I only ask b/c if you have a mental health issue it may be helpful for you and your boyfriend to go to counseling. If he does not have that issue he may not always understand why you do the things you do. I would recommend it b/c it may help you have a healthier relationship
bac Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Did you tell your therapist all details of your love story? You pay him/her money for professional help and it looks like you are suffering emotionally.
CarrieT Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Aren't my issues something I need to fix for ME, and have nothing to do with his lack of love for me? Yes. ^^^^ Yes, and yes. Have you made any progress in looking for a therapist - as you were going to do several weeks ago??? I TOLD him to leave for his own good, and resume things when i was well. And his response was? He just canot bare to be away from me, and feels like we are too much a part of one another. With all due respect, he was able to go to Thailand without you so this is not entirely true, is it? What about getting the help I need and resuming the relationship after? What about that? Become who you need to be before you can be a part of a couple! I can guarantee we will not lose feelings. No, you can't. No one can guarantee such things because people change. That is part of life. Granted, you will always have SOME feelings for a person, but you cannot guarantee you will feel the same. 1
Bridgey Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 It sounds like you have three options in regards to his friends and family not liking you: 1. Ignore his friends dislike of you and accept that the people close to him do not approve of your relationship. This does -not- include his very rude friends who verbally attack you. They should no longer be close friends of his, although it sounds like Andrew has already stopped talking to these people. But for the other friends of his who do not like you, but keep it mostly to themselves, you have the option of just not letting their opinion of them get to you. 2. Try to win them over. This would probably be the best option for his dad and sister, but also possibly for his nicer friends who still have a bit of an issue with you. As much as we hate to admit it, what families and friends think of SO's can make a difference in the relationship. If neither you or Andrew have a problem with them not liking you, then go back to option 1. 3. Realize that having close friends and family disapproving the relationship is a real problem, that you can't solve, and end the relationship. There are a bunch of other issues that have been addressed in this thread and many others, but since you specifically asked for advice on his friends and their opinions thats all I'm going to comment on.
ptp Posted August 26, 2012 Posted August 26, 2012 Leigh, I remember that this isn't the first time you have created a thread like this. I don't really know what to tell you. It is wrong if this friends/family mistreat you, you deserve to be respected and you deserve to be happy. I hope you find that. 2
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 Hi all, I have talked to Andrew about all of this. He said of course he feels like kissing anyone who speaks badly of me; but that he had known me all of 5 seconds when his best friends of 14 years turned on me and abused me, and while his natural instinct was to totalol ignore them, that it would have been different had they been strangers. He knew I had been socially isolated and not around any people for 5 years; and so at first, instead of telling his best mates of several years to " eff off, I want nothing further to do with you, how dare u say such and such", his reaction was toned down a little. He had NEVER seen his mates abuse a person the ay they did me, so he was perplexed and was not entirely SURE that it was just them being bad people; he wanted to take a second to sit down and figure out why I had come across badly. IN the end, he concluded that I was such a girl who was doing the best she could, based on her situation. Sure, I acted weird, but acting weird is NO reason to abuse a person, and make fun of the way they look ( especially since there I am not an ugly girl at all) Being socially inept and out of place is no excuse for abusing a person. I never did or said anything nasty to any of his friends. Two or three of his mates abused be early on in the relationship, when things were casual between us, but he liked me too much to think about other girls around him. We barly KNEW each other at this stage. Even though we barly knew each other, his reaction to his friends abuse was still to tell them they were idiots, and not talk to them again. HIS desision, not mine. At this stage, he still did not know me well enough to fully understand what happened; he assumed that because I was new to social settings, that there must have been reasons for his friends reacting so badly to me. ALbiet, there WERE reasons, but not enough to justify making fun of me for having anorexia, about my looks, and about the fact I was too sick to continue University/college. Sorry, but people like that are genuiely sick, horrible people:sick::sick: As he got to know me better, if a girl at a club came up to me or had an issue with me ( for just standing there and not doing anything, but having their boyfriend talk to me, when all I did was stand there and respond to some dude talking to me) then he would seriously have a go at them, and tell them to not lay a finger on me, and that if they came anywear near me, he would " f*cking kill them". And my boyfriend does not get into fights, and only ever has when he jumped in to defend a friend. As you know, he has some IDIOT mates... I put his initial hesitence to just say to his mates of 14 years " hey, how dare u say that to leigh, I never wanna twalk to u @ssholes again" to the fact that he just did not now me, and he knew I was sociall strange, and probably thought they had their own side to it. I digress though - he DID ring them immediately and tell them off, and stop talking to them.
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 And first of all, I only write about my PROBLEMS on loveshack.... Which have been plentyfull,but that is to be expected for a girl who was not around people for 5 or 6 years. I have done my best to move forward from it, and now have friends and a normal life. HE helped me A LOT towards achieving a normal life. My problems and issues are not characteristic of a normal and healthy person, but on a day to day basisd, we are totally fine; I am fine, our actions are happy. It is only one a week I will indulge in worrying or being paranoid and feeling messed up. And it does not last long, and I do not yell or mistreat him over it. I just act a little quieter and less happy, and come on to love shack to vent. Please know my posts on here are NOT indivative of what our daily relationship is like!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My problems only highlight what 2% of our relationship. 98% of the time, we laugh a lot on a daily basis together, are together every day, and have the time of our lives together. We have both travelled a fair bit, seen and spoken to enough people to realize when a special person comes along... We are very happy whe we are together, and SO much happie together, than we are with any other person. Because we are very happy and he treats me like as princess and constatly tell sme how much he loves and adores me every day, WHY would I just drop him over about 2 of his friends who said I was very ugly/ disgusting, and stupid? We both know what love is. We love one another more than or as much as our own parents. We regard each other as the most important people in each others lives. Equall to our parents of course.... I have had a previous long term relationship before, and this love is different. I was not in love with the previous guy.
CptSaveAho Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Oh god... You only have yourself to blame... I only allow people to treat me how I want to be treated... no relationship/friendship/partnership is worth being "abused" People that are "abused" are because they settle so they wont be alone. They are willing to sacrifice their own individuality/happiness/purpose in life to be in a relationship, even a bad one. The saying "Talk is Cheap" comes to mind. Put your money where your mouth is and go find something better. If I am in a relationship, all my friends respect my relationship and I respect all my friends' relationships. Sounds like you are dealing with a DBag with DBag friends. Contrary to your statement of love, you have NO IDEA what love is, what are you 24-25? You put your love for others above yourself Its funny because now you come before his friends which I disagree with. This will cause a bigger divide in your relationship and the relationship will end the same way as it is now. The turd is circling the toilet, only now the water is going at a much slower pace
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 Just to clear up the situation with his mates: not ALL his mates hate me. They all had bad reactions to me at one stage, but that was because I acted strange; not mean or nasty. They never thought I was a bad person or a mean person. And most of them have spend time with me later on, and realized i was actually a cool person to be around, and later found out WHY I acted a little " different'. I have no issue with going out with Andrew with his mates, who all have no issue being around me, and even seam to enjoy my company. It is only 2 people who were formerly his good frriends, who abused me and still despise me. A couple, who broke up after years, where the guy tried to kiss me, and then denied it. They both then proceeded to abuse me over it, when I did nothing wrong. His father does not love me, but he does not hate me either. He lives in a mansion and during my stay there, he screamed at me a few times for moving his things around in his kitchen and has since banned me from upstaires altogether; he tells Andrew that he does not dislike me, that I am welcome around, but that I have to stay in OUR section of the house ( we have another kitchen downstaires), so as to now move his things around. His sister does not hate me either, but has not warmed to me, and does not think highly of me yet. Mostly because I am a little quirky, and some of my young mates ( I have one or two 18 year old friends, even though I am 26) they hacked my facebook ( when you leave facebook on and your mates come and type in funn sh*T), and his sister saw it, and just thought i was very innapropriate. I personally do not give a f*ck about wheather I am a good enough person in hsi sisters eyes!!!!!!!!! I am every bit as nice of a person as SHE is ( I had GREAT parents who brought me up to be extremely generous and kind), I have achieved a higher level of education than her ( so she can not look down on me in that regard), and there is just nothing about me to look down on, besides those facebook hack atetmpts by my mature friends. I also have older and same age friends who do nto hack my facebook for laughs. But, for Andrews sake, I am going to go over and have dinner at his sisters during this year a few times, so she can see I am quiet, nice, and polite; not some ferral weirdo who writes weird sh*t on facebook. I never write anything on facebook. At all - I only ever post pinks to funny animal pics and hilarious pranks and funny jokes and amazing pictures. I am not one of those people who posts things on facebooK! I have shown Andrew all this thread.
Els Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I am very confused about the whole guy kissing you story, since there seem to be quite a few contradictions there, so I'll skip that one. About his friends making fun of your appearance - honestly, they sound like they're stuck in frat boy mode. It isn't about you, and it isn't really about your bf either, if they're doing it behind his back - it's just what immature, inexperienced college boys who are full of themselves do. That is why they are single and flying to Thailand for partying and sex. I wish I could tell you what to do in that case, or that your bf should ditch friends like that, but it doesn't always work that way at that age, because if you were to ditch everyone who behaved like that you would probably not have friends at all.
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 Leigh I hate to say this, and please dont take this the wrong way, but your posts are so contradictory that it is not funny. The story, plot, changes from post to post it is so hard to keep up with you. I don't think you have the proper mindset to be in any relationship. You have a lot to fix with yourself. Now it was you knew Andrew five seconds when this alleged abusing occurred? You made a thread and made it seem like it occurred yesterday. Have you had problems telling the truth before ? Or you just don't know how to express yourself properly. No, thanks a LOT for your posts and advice! I really enjoy reading your posts, they help me, they get me to think how I can do things better. You see I am a nice person who is simply trying her best, and you genuinely try to help me. Unlike the poster above, who has no clue how to help me. Saying I so not know what love is because I am 25 is a little unhelpful. And OF COURSE you put your partner BEFORE your friends. THAT to me, is love. Alex, I meant Andrew had only known me a few weeks before his mates turnd on me. I was VERY very hard to get to know, and he knew I had social problems; hence why when his mates he had known for years and had never previously abused people in front of him, did so to me, he DID stop to think about what I had done to warrant it. Not that he condoned it even though he did not know me; he still chose to stop talking to them and to tell them they were morons.
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 I am very confused about the whole guy kissing you story, since there seem to be quite a few contradictions there, so I'll skip that one. About his friends making fun of your appearance - honestly, they sound like they're stuck in frat boy mode. It isn't about you, and it isn't really about your bf either, if they're doing it behind his back - it's just what immature, inexperienced college boys who are full of themselves do. That is why they are single and flying to Thailand for partying and sex. I wish I could tell you what to do in that case, or that your bf should ditch friends like that, but it doesn't always work that way at that age, because if you were to ditch everyone who behaved like that you would probably not have friends at all. No, only a few of his mates said I was disgusting looking. What happened was: - I met a couple who were both good mates with Andrew. - I acted a tad strange (just quieter and not talking about the same things they talked about) because I had been socially isolated for 5 years. - they decided they hated me and I was not attractive enough for Andrew. Then.. - The guy had broken up with this girl after a 6 year relationship. He was screaming abuse at her over the phone, it was so toxic. I happened to walk past and get food from the fridge and asked if he was " ok". I said " look, this is really bad, being so horrible to each other will not achieve anything, do u want to sit down and have a talk about it?" -he gladly sat down and say " wow thanks Leigh, no one has ever been this nice to me, and want to support me like this" - he was crying a little and cearly distraught over the demis of his relationship, so I reached out and gave hima pat on the back. I HAVE DONE THIS WITH ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS and they have NOT read it as a cue to KISS ME. He than learnt forward to kiss me. I was taken aback and pulled away! He IMMEDIATELY KNEW he was wrong.. HE KNEW he did it! Because he saig RIGHT away: Leigh omg DO NOT tell Andrew, it meant nothing, PLZ PLZ PLZ do not tell him" Hoonestly, I treated him the same was as I did anyone else who I found to be upset. I sat down, asked him if he wanted to talk about it, he said yes he would really like some support, and then when he sytarted cryingm, I literally reached out my arm, and patted him on his back ( I have done the same thing many times to crying people before..) and he then said " wow Leigh, no girl has acted like this to me before". Which I thought was weird, as I have acted like this to A LOT of my guy friends in the past! If they cried, I comforted them! Without them reading it as a singnal to KISS me! I then told my boyfriend, who told his girlfriend who he was in the process of breaking up with. They both rang me and messaged me on facebook with a a lot of abusive messages. The girl broked my phone I left at her place. I literally did NOT do anything to warrant any of this treatment.
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Leigh, STOP obsessing about that idiot and his kiss attempt. It was NOTHING. Leave it in the past. Do the same with the whole "hooker" thing and the endless explanations and rationalizations. Stop engaging in all of this insane drama. I can't believe you have asked Andrew to read this thread. You are just perpetuating it further and further. Please stop! You're making a gigantic mess! Can't you just go out and get some ice cream and then stay home and watch a horror movie like a regular couple? 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 I am very confused about the whole guy kissing you story, since there seem to be quite a few contradictions there, immature, inexperienced college boys who are full of themselves do. That is why they are single and flying to Thailand for partying and sex. The people on the trip were all couples. One couple cancelled, and hence frantically called up all their friends to see if they would be interested in a half price ticket. Andrew loves travelling like me, and decided to go. He did not know Chris, the loser, was going. The guy in this picture is seriously bad news. He smokes Crack, and lies through his teeth... he abused me on facebook, then tells Andrew " sorry I was just angry". Then the next day, after he told Andrew to give him money Andrew owed him for the hotel room, he told Andrew when they met " oh, I have nothing against Leigh I do not even not like her"... AFTER he had abused me, telling me the exact opposite.
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 Leigh, STOP obsessing about that idiot and his kiss attempt. It was NOTHING. Leave it in the past. Do the same with the whole "hooker" thing and the endless explanations and rationalizations. Stop engaging in all of this insane drama. I can't believe you have asked Andrew to read this thread. You are just perpetuating it further and further. Please stop! You're making a gigantic mess! Can't you just go out and get some ice cream and then stay home and watch a horror movie like a regular couple? Your right. It is just annoying how he told me that he could say what he wanted TO and ABOUT me, and that Andrew would not care, and how they would always be mates; he is delluded if he thinks he can just talk to a mates girlfriend like that, and expect their mate to be okay with it. He honestly did not think Andrew liked or respected me at all. And we do act like a regular couple on a daily basis. The thoughts in my head and the drama that I relay on here is not indicative or what a regular day in our lives are. Ironically, we did stay in and watch a horror movie last night , lol! We just hang out like a normal couple, and feel very happy just by being in each others presence.
Trimmer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 So it's basically 2 friends who are the problem, then? Block the offenders on Facebook. Don't answer their calls (doesn't everybody have caller ID by now?) Delete their voicemails. Don't read their texts. Andrew should back you up on all of this, and take a stand for you and your relationship as commented on here: He should be speaking for himself, and she should let him handle his friends by himself. If he doesn't take a stand against their behavior, and stand with you, then he's just not acting like he's in a relationship with you. Take the hint.
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 So it's basically 2 friends who are the problem, then? Block the offenders on Facebook. Don't answer their calls (doesn't everybody have caller ID by now?) Delete their voicemails. Don't read their texts. Andrew should back you up on all of this, and take a stand for you and your relationship as commented on here: If he doesn't take a stand against their behavior, and stand with you, then he's just not acting like he's in a relationship with you. Take the hint. I do not talk to these people at all. It was a freak thing that happened, which started because I commented on a picture on facebook, that was on a mutual friends thing. And Andrew chooses to not be friends with people who abuse me. The guy was delluded and thought Andrew would actually not care if this guy spoke badly of me to me and about me to others. Andrew put him in his place.
Trimmer Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I do not talk to these people at all. It was a freak thing that happened, which started because I commented on a picture on facebook, that was on a mutual friends thing. And Andrew chooses to not be friends with people who abuse me. The guy was delluded and thought Andrew would actually not care if this guy spoke badly of me to me and about me to others. Andrew put him in his place. So problem solved, then?
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 These types of people, once they dislike someone, will spit out vile names, in a really harsh and nasty way! I will give an example of the types of people they are.... I was out of hospital after being away from people for 5 years and did not know what the social " norms" were... I met that girl who was Andrews good friend. She drunk too much that night and ended up throwing up a lot. So on facebook the following day, I posted on her wall, saying " hey, hope you feel better from last night!" I later found out you should not post that on a persons wall that you have just met; and should send it as a message instead. I did not know the spcial norms, and so I learnt. The second incident was when Andrew called me while he was drinking. I was at home. Andrew told me he was very drunk, did not know where the heck he was, had lost his shoes...... then his phone cut out and I could not contact him ( his phone sometimes dies, loses charge). I was very worried, I had not HAD any friends for 5 years, so it worried me when a person I cared very much about, told me he was totally drunk and disorientated, and then I could not contact him. so I posted on his facebook wall " someone plz let me know if Andrew is okay, I am very worried about him" as I did not have any of his mates numbers and was just really worried and uspet about him. I DID NOT realize that people get drunk and roam the streets all the time without getting hurt. At this point, the girl said to me, via facebook message " Leigh your a f*cking IDIOT what the F8ck do you think your doing, your such a moron, how dare you post stupid sh*t on facebook that would really embarrass Andrew, blablabal f8ck this and f*ck that.. Every second word she said was a swear word. I kindly told her that although I WAS sorry, and did not intend to embarrass Andrew, that I WAS socially isolated for 5 years, and therefore could she plz try to understand where I was coming from; I was just doing my best, and should not be expected to get everything right first go. She sure as hell wouldnt be able to get everything perfect first try. This, of course, meant nothing to her, she she told me that anorexia and social isolation is no excuse, that I am a F8cking idiot, etc etc, and to not bloody do it again. I AM SO THRILLED he is not friends with such a low life. I value kindess and empathy, and really like people who can try to see where another person is coming from. He is glad I made him see his " good friends" for who they truly are. ...He has only lost 3 long term friends since me, two of which tried to kiss me ( and one tried to have sex with me), and the other one verbally abused me REALLY extremely and broke my property.
Author Leigh 87 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Posted August 27, 2012 I basically wanted to vent. I think the way those 2 people acted towards me is totally gross and not characteristic of a decent person. People like that, who swear and curse to get their points across to people they do not like, are not the sort of people I respect or want to be around. Again - how can anyone NOT see how swearing and verbally abusing people an d making fun of the way they look, is really sad for a grown adult to do? Am I really the only one on here who thinks it is utterly pathetic?! I would not even acossiate with a person that vile:sick::sick: M good friends are lovely people who do not comment on peoples appearances, even if they dislike someone. They do not waste time and energy on it. I am seriously baffled by people like that! Sorry my rant is coming to an end ( yay) I just think people are all so lucky to just have legs that work, and enough food to eat; WHY be so horrible and negative to people? I guess it is no " extra effort" for such people to BE so nasty; it must come naturally, and be more of a strain to actually be NICE. LOL. Imagine that; people who actually find it more of an effort to be friendly and helpfull, and find it comes so easily and naturally to just swear and be nasty, rather than give people advice? Sometimes I am just really miffed and put off by how lowly I think of people! The way people can be amuses me and makes me SOOOOO glad I am a nice person by nature. It is so nice TO be nice in life.
Minnie09 Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Maybe instead of Andrew, let your therapist read this whole thread. 2
CarrieT Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 Maybe instead of Andrew, let your therapist read this whole thread. She doesn't have one. That was my point... Leigh has been coming to LS with a variety of problems for several years and many of us have continually suggested therapy for these issues.
todreaminblue Posted August 27, 2012 Posted August 27, 2012 I have had some really terribly trouble with my boyfriends mates, or " ex mates" now. I was completely socially isolated for 5 - 6 years prior to meeting Andrew, so when I first met him and in the first year or so, I was a little socially off; I simply HAD NOT BEEN around PEOPLE at all! I am NOT a horrible, boring, inappropriate, awful person with a cr@ppy personality AT ALL - I had just had an ILLNESS that caused me to not be around people! His mates just thought I was weird and did not like me. What's more, they talked behind my back about how ugly I was and how Andrew, my bf, could do better, and some even said they could not believe he could sleep with me. I have perfect teeth, clear skin, nice full lips, big big blue eyes, and long blonde hair. I have a large forhead and have a normal, pleasant face shape. I am 130 lbs and 5 ' 6 with a VERy curvy body, and am normally thinner. I AM NOT ugly to MOST people; average at worst. There is NOTHING inherently ugly about me, although I am not everyones cup of tea... Hideously ugly like his mates purport me to be, is just NOT something anyone ELSE agrees withoutside of his group of mates.... You know, there are no large groups if friends who would ALl find me to be HIDEOUS, at least not very often! Andrew has hooked up with MUCH lesser attractive girls than me; although I bet his mates made fun of them, too. Because they are HORRIBLE people. truly, they are... What positive, happy person with a drive and passin for LIFE, has TIME to sit and talk about how ugly another human being is?:sick::sick: ... One of his guy mates broke up with a long term girlfriend. Both the girl and guy were best mates with Andrew my bf: that night, the guy who brike up with the girl was crying, uspet, screaming to her over the phone. I was in the kitchen, told him if he wanted to talk calmy and just chat about things, I would gladly sit down and talk. He sounded very pleased that i was nice enough to be concerned for his well being, and to just sit and listen to him. Which I did, happily. I am a very nice girl, I gladly sit down with people I barly know, if they are in distress, just to comfort them and do what I can. He learnt forward and tried to kiss me at one point. Ibacked off, and he imemdiately said " sorry, it was a total mistake, I do not want to lose Andrew over this too, I cannot handle losing a 14 year firendship PLZ DO NOT TELL HIm I beg you" He even got me to pinky promise LOL... So OF COURSE I told Andrew! I TRIED to keep it secret, that his BEST mate of 14 years tried to kiss me while ANdrew was in the other room sleeping.... Andrew naturally was very p*ssed off, and CHOSE to not talk to that guy again. I DID NOT force him to not talk to him again. Recently though, he got offered a half price plane ticket to Thailand in South East Asia. That guy happened to be there, before my boyfriend knew about it. He already paid for the ticket before he found out this guy was going. Whilst there, there were only couples, so Andrew paird off a few times with that mean guy a lot. He was civil to him to keep the peace, but had no interest of making him his close friend, or even friend again. That guy, however, had other ideas. That guy unfortunately though that, since Andrew was being buddies with him on the trip, that he did NOT love me at all, and was more than happy to be mates with a guy who had called me severely ugly, a Sl*t , and tramp who cracked onto HIM.. That;s right, he tells people I am the one who tried to kiss HIM:sick::sick: And he thinks my boyfriend is FRIENDS with him bcause he was nice to him on the trip. On facebook recently he hd another go at me! There was a funny picture, of those two on elephants; it looked like the guy was touching my boyrfriends provate parts, it looked SO funny, and no one noticed, so I commented " LOL, has no one noticed that picture? haha" Not surprisingly, the guy retorted back " dickhe ad Leigh:)" . to which I responded " look mate, good luck with trying to get Andrew to talk to you again". I KNOW I should of taken the high road, the better path, and NOT even responded. BUT I WAS ANGRY and SICK of people thinking they can say HORRIBLE things to me, and expect my boyfriend to sit back and NOT CARE WHEN PEOPLE SERIOUSLY INSULT HIS GIRLFRIEND. So then this guy messages me privately on facebook, abusing me, telling me how putrid and disgusting I am, and how Andrew and him are still mates, and they Andrew would never stick up for me and pick me over him. I should not have responded, but I did, I was actually nice to him. I said " look, Andrew loves me and hence he does not want to go being mates with people who insult me for NO reason"I then went on to say " sorry we got off to such a bad start, I was socially isolated and in hospital folr 5 years before meeting Andrew, so I am sorry if I said or did anything that was off. But I am a nice person, that has NEVER ONCE done anything MEAN to you" Of course, he still responded with more abuse, telling me how Andrew does not love or respect me, and would NEVER stick up for me, and always pick him over me....:sick: He seriously does NOT believe ANdrew remotely loves me, and he thinks people can abuse me, and that Andrew will gladly accept it, not defend me, and be mates with them. My parter is very laid back. He has never once had any problems with anyone, until I came along. Andrew is a guy EVERY ONE LIKES, therefore Andrew can not often SEE peoples true colours, because they are nice to HIM. he was always in the cool group growing up. to Andrew, he showed this guy he was not cool with things, but immediately not talking to him or responding to his millions of texts after the first incident happened. Andrew takes theh igh road, and responds to peopel who are awful to me, by GOING NO CONTACT with them. He did tell this guy on another occasion when they bumped into each other at their mutual friends bachelors party, that " look, don't say sh*t about Leigh around me okay she is my girlfriend blablabla". He said " oh, I am so sorry, it is all good, I have no issue with leigh". HE LIES. Just like last night, andrew rang him asking him wtf is with him, and he said " sorry, so sorry I get really carried away when I am angry". ............Immediately after the call, he sends me another abusive message. ......... The girl, who was grlfriends with this horrible guy also abused me in the same way! Telling me I cracked onto/made moves on her ex ( when HE was honestly the one who leaned in and kissed me I PROMISE:sick:) And that I am WAY too ugly for ANY guy in their social circle to consider a dating prospect. She sent me LONG, VERY ABUSIVE facebook messages, about how ugly I was, and how Andrew does not love me and is not attracted to me. She also destroyed my property ( my phone I left at her house) and blamed me for flooding her bathroom and messing up and wrecking her house. When really, I arrived there, the place was a MESS ( because of someone else obviously!), and yet she blamed me, and broke my phone. When all I did was go back and sleep there, because my partner and i went out with the GUY she was with, and all came back there; come on, I am not going to walk 4 hours home in the dark, without my boyfriend, cos she is too PETTy to let me stay in the spare room with my BOYFRIEND. She never told me not to go there before hand, and I never DID anything sligtly nasty to her to make me THINK she would ban me from her house! ......... I am so upset:mad::( Ever since Andrew got home from his trip, he realised what a mierable time he had and was traumatized at how he had to go to hospital and fell very ill, without me by his side. He could not even watch the hangover two with me, as it was based in Thailand, and he started to cry and feel really upset; HE IS NOT A GUY WHO EVER CRIES. Not easily! Since getting home, he has been constantly by my side, he spends days in bed hugging me and not wanting to let me go, and tells me most hours how he wants to marry me and be with me fo the rest of his life. I am a very kind and lovely girlfriend to him too we both want to be very happy together, however, it is saddening that when we get engaged NOT ONE SINGLE ONE of his mates will say " congratulations, Andrew". He will get engaged to me, marry me, and not have ANY of his mates happy for him:(:( Furthermore, his dad does not think highly of me. I am studying and have not had time to find a job yet whilst studying, and his dad thinks I am sort of stupid, and since I am not working in a career orientated job yet ( ya know, cos I s anorexic and in hospital and had to dely my career and all'), he thinks badly of me fornot being at work daily with a career. NOT THAT HIS SON IS DOING THIS HIMSELF. His sister also dislikes me. I mean, neither his father nor sister DISLIKES me entirely, but they are not AT ALL sold on me, and would NOT be happy or supportive of Andrew getting married to me. I feel like we basically have to keep it a SECRET, because EVERY ONE he knows will think he is making a mistake!:( Or just be idifferent and not care in the best case scenario. NO ONE outside of his family or friends dislikes me. I started study, and every one likes me int he class; because I AM NICE. Easy going, fun, and kind. NOT EVERY ONE is best friend with me in my study group, but every one at least thinks I am very nice, will happily be nice to me, and most peopple are actually friends with me. The issue was, I acted strange at first and said and did some annoying, socially aborant things when I FIRST met Andrew. I simply did not know any BETTEr, because I was in HOSPITAL for years on and off! However, I HAVE taken responsibility; I saw a therapist for ages, and pciked up on peoples spcial cues, and am not relatively normal.. I do nothing out od the ordinary socially speaking. I have a spark about me too: a few people REALLY, REALLY like me that meet me, most think I am lovely and nice, and the very worst cases are of people who are really horrible and socially devient themselves. Normal people all tend to like me. without fail. And I have worked REALLY, REALLY hard to socialize myself! I PUSHED myself to go in public every day, when had never been around people in many years! I just got on with it, went out in public, made seriously bad mistakes, and learnt! I AM TRYNG MY BEST. And it is finally working, after some mishaps initially. I am just devastated about my partners friends. One group of them gave me another chance; I was weird at first, did a few thing that made them not warm to me, but in the end they saw me, talked to me again, and realized yes, I had issues and still do, but I was fundamentally a EALLY ncie girl, who they now like and think is funny, interesting, and fun to be around. ONE group/lot of his mates will support and be happy for him if we marry. One guy even came up to me and said " you and Andrew are a good couple and I wish you well". BE RIGHT BACK, Andrew is in bed and wants me to come and hug him:( I honestly feel traumatized and numb to his feelings right now! I am REALLY put off, scared, and affected badly by his ex friends abuse. I feel for you ....guess what ????/ I wish you happiness i wish you and andrew a happy life, together, forever, and then add an extra day, this is from em to you and i say, it with a smile......good luck in live and love..... dont worry what other people, feel, know what you feel, the rest of their feelings from the not important are in water....and it slides down your back like cold rain....dry each other off with huge big soft straight from the dryer fluffy towels and keep smiling....and rejoice....both of you.....deb
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